Day 359: Housework in Moments

Day 359: Housework in Moments

 

Once again, there is a sense of gratitude with me in establishing more and more the word Diligence as a living part of me – that I can extend from and as this new asset of me in the way of application of New Diligence into further exploration of Drive, and now, further into this word Moment and Momentum.

 

There is a kind of background process of who I am in fundamental as real, going on within me, such as learning how to stay with me in kind of looking at the word Everything and realizing that I have been seeing it written upside down and backwards and inside out, a kind of experience like that, and through that realizing the unlimited extent that I have accepted and allowed this consciousness to pervade and permeate all I thought was Real, and therefore through the outplay of that belief, in my mind seeing it as being Reliable. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to a floaty feeling in my fingers as I write, by participating in anxiety, and insecurity, where my fingers for a moment shed the trappings of the past as following the routine practices of articulation, and I commit myself to redefine Reliability, with I in Real that is Here that does not depend upon a holographic context image of what is Everything that I have accepted and allowed as a projection of the world ‘out there’, that is Able from this source of me, to reconstruct this world perspective that I have previously accepted and allowed as real.

 

So, in fundamentals of my living life, in this reconstruction process, I am asked me who I am in Moments, and in Momentum, as in how is this transition from one Moment to another Moment, that who I am in this living moment of me can learn to carry me into another living moment, and so make for neutral movement that could be as Drive something that is real within my life?

 

So in a way I continue walking Diligence, applied to Moments – in being aware of me that is in a moment as a part of me, seeing that the moments are attended to, and finished in a way, in the way that moving to the next moment is clear. And asking me in deepening thoroughness of Diligence, questions such as: Has this moment been addressed? Is there a completion here? Is this transition from one moment to the next being cleanly done? And so here comes up for me the word Clean in a different light, as Clean movement, as part of the dynamics in a way of the movement from one moment to the next; opening the next in a way that gives opportunity of the next moment to be open and new, and not conditioned by the things that might have been left outstanding.

 

See Eqafe’s New series Heart of Matter, and: The Key to World Change

 See Also on YouTube SOUL : One Word Opens many Doors

 

… continuing next post …

 

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
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Day 351: A Moment during Washing Up

Day 351: A moment during Washing Up

Though my mind tells me there’s nothing to write about today, yet I am anyway kind of writing my way in here, while at the same time writing me out, yes, and out also of this blank layer: there was something that I realised while doing the washing up, which I usually enjoy, having got my hands into hot water, and what I realised was to do with an energy that came up in me while I was handling a soapy plate, and the energy that had come up in me was clearly an impatience.

And I stood back for a second to have a look at this energy that was kind of busy rattling about inside me, and I noticed that there was a thought in my head saying, Yes, but what else, what else is there, what else can I have, as if some kind of energy reward or comfort of some kind was required. It was as if a vacancy or a lackingness had suddenly opened up that needed to be filled, as if maybe there was some urgent mission that I had forgotten about, and needed to be reminded of, that I was maybe missing something, or at least these were the sort of thoughts that were kind of reaching for attention.

And yet as I stood there, standing back for this moment, I noticed something really interesting as well; that this energy of impatience rattling around did not in fact have any direct connection to the actual washing up, and that that was a connection that I would usually supply, getting swept up in all of this, where what I saw was that in a moment like this I would habitually feel the impatience, the frustration also maybe, and then immediately blame the presence of this energy inside me on to the physical event of washing up. But it was that the washing up itself had really nothing to do with it. Seeing that, it was very easy to release this impatience, and in a way, seeing how it was in fact redundant, not having been connected up with blame, it was already released; it needed to be validated.

As well as this, with the thoughts that came up in me I had already turned my head, looking toward a radio set, a possible distraction entertainment option. So it was kindly no thanks to that as well, and so I released my neck muscles that had already turned my head. And I then allowed myself to continue with this physical process of the washing up, and enjoy myself within it.

It was like I suppose in a way that my mind wanted to be part of it, to be involved, to have a say, through me within a habitual framing process of what is going on: like with words: such as for example defining what is going on as a ‘chore’, and with such framing, then my mind could easily supply a range of thoughts and energies with which to trigger further reactions and conflict games, and means of involvement.

So here in the context of living diligence, in which I am simply physically keeping abreast of time, with attending to the tasks and details that crop up as part of a physical day: the element of Impatience arises as an undermining factor to that diligence, along with a corrupted definition of work. Seeing these things, I see how also how inadvertently I’m testing out this new diligence in my practical life.

 

 

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

School Of Ultimate Living: Facebook Page

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 349: Diligence in Decision Making

…Part of an ongoing process walking the word Diligence 

 

 

 Day 349: Diligence in Decision Making  

In slowing down, more slowing down, and in Patience, another depth of patience, where there comes a moment in which the energy is not there: who I am within myself within this patience is like a stranger to myself. I am not used to following this path, I am not used to an experience of me in which I do not have the usual references, where my dishonesties toward myself would be almost naturally supplied, such as walking in my well-practiced paths of instant self avoidance.

 

Staying with my breath I find a quality of slow that I can kind of latch on to that is for me an aspect of Patience. I realise now that that sort of ‘latch’ is like a reference too, and that in becoming more familiar with it I can practice this and so make this accessing of patience a faster process.

 

With Patience like being a component part of Diligence, and Diligence itself being like a package of supportive words, standing with Care, Purpose, and Work, my practice as it stands is to bring this new diligence through into my life in the small moments, and the potential that I see for me is through practice having instant access to this word, with it’s combined dimensions.

 

Such as within exploring patience while at the same time embracing who I am in Care, as redefined, so that rather in that habitual moment of instantly deciding for avoidance of myself, that I can with patience give me time to take who I am within myself into consideration, where it is like I am learning to apply diligence to my decision making processes.

 

 

See: Atlanteans, The Avoidance series, and 278, Avoidance: Not So Honest, Actually 

See this SOUL video: Ignite your Utmost Potential

 

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

School Of Ultimate Living: Facebook Page

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 345: Dark Mind, Dark World

Day 345: Dark Mind, Dark World

That aspect of Diligence where through new experience of myself with new perspectives seeing Diligence in looking at my past and reviewing old relationships, I saw how often I had done the same old thing of dusting off my feet of someone or their house and walked away from them, forever. Such a final judgement I had made, where looking at it now I see how walking away had become a part of me from a young age as my stock solution to a problem, where I see now that I had defined myself as always ready to go.

 

And through Diligence I saw there were these instances scattered through my life of relationships left behind and torn with ragged edges, unfinished, unresolved, seeing people who had come into my life that I had later on abandoned, that I could have stuck with, stood beside, and yet had chosen not to. A perspective of my past that is something new to me, like opening my eyes and seeing these beings far away from me in darkened lands, foundering into consequence that need not perhaps to have been like that, had I been different in myself.

 

And when I consider who I was within and as the embodiment of the cursory personality, I can understand how Diligence itself was at that time something alien to me: diligence in the form of bearing with myself in the midst of making mistakes, and bad experiences, rather than just simply going away from them, with learning from a situation as a completion in a way, in which it may have been possible for differences to be resolved, and for decisions to be made not in conflict or anger. And yet walking out on someone or from something in myself I had accepted and allowed a pattern in which I did not learn but instead returned into the pattern of following my old way of walking out and embodying that arrogance of the cursory personality in relation to other beings that I had met along the way.

 

And here in allowing myself to see things differently through redefining diligence and seeing it unfolding new perspectives of myself as well in slowing down within myself and noticing these references to relationships of the past that remain within me unresolved, I see also the points of both regret and guilt within me that I had accepted and allowed as part of me, as consequences in a way that I had accepted that came along with living out this cursory

design, within which what I had learned was how to tolerate and cope with a shadow in my life that accompanied my walking out and leaving things as unresolved.

 

And so within that what I’d done was to define myself as burdened by these things, as willing in myself to be burdened, I saw myself as burdened, carrying a burden, and I was careless whether or not my body could take the strain. Being as within my mind, I passed the burden on and did not care, while in my mind I found some sign of inner righteousness to support the punishment of myself, or in my willingness to pay the fine for some transgression that enabled me to go on as before, because I could afford it more and more as guilt became more tolerable within me.

 

But something that I saw within the guilt surrounding the regret of, in this example of walking out on someone in some way and losing contact with them through the years, and then finally altogether, was in my relationship to guilt itself of: Here is a little guilt, that is nothing compared to the greater guilt that I have learned to tolerate as part of my experience of myself, so I can deal with that, I can cope with that, I know that I can overlook it, in my greater current of benevolence in my mind, where my good intentions I have accepted and allowed myself to believe outweigh my actual deeds that remain as physical incidents within my secret past.

 

And so of course I hardly need to ask myself, as if I do not know, what exactly is the greater guilt that overshadows and makes trivial all the lesser guilts, the greater guilt that in a way justifies them all, that makes me certain in my cursory designs that I can tolerate each and every burden. And just as obviously this is something that I would find so hard to talk about, to open up, and to admit to, and to share with even me, that relationship that I walked out on, having walked out of all relationships to everyone in my teenage life, I rounded up with only me, and then decided in my mind to walk out on this one too.

 

Imagine: when you curse the entire universe with all your heart, send out a shockwave of blame at all in life and at living itself and then decide to kill your own physical body, and put an end to everything – and then to fail, fail to die, fail to draw attention even – then something that comes back from that can be a guilt as universal, equally as universal as the blame itself, a guilt that darkens one’s life, a guilt that creates a dark world, and a life from which one hides and cowers away from, as if the truth of who one really is is too intense and piercing and too deeply criminal to be exposed, and yet all the time is quietly if unconsciously fully viewed by all.

 

Something like that would be the main dramatic background of this emotional life – something that I had managed to not notice, to become accustomed to, a life in which I was certain that other guilt experience could easily be managed, and so be tolerated within the greater scheme of things.

 

Towards taking the charge out of the word Suicide, I realise as I am writing this, that seeing it in the context that I have described – as another instance of me walking out on a relationship – I see that looking at it in this way, that I can look at all the instances when I actually and in fact did do this, walk out on other beings in my life, as well as walk out on my own, and though I do not feel good about these events – I sense an opening for me – where I can remain upon the ground and can forgive myself. And in making self forgiveness possible for me, that I can see it would be a necessary gift for me to go into that experience that I have so far only partially opened up for me which would be to redefine myself into and as self forgiveness as who I am.

 

 

Ok: So posting this – and more on this to come…

 

 

See this SOUL video: Regret – Remembering the Great

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

School Of Ultimate Living: Facebook Page

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 344: Discoveries in Diligence 2

Day 344: Discoveries in Diligence 2

 

It is both interesting and crucial, how I have made many discoveries in opening up the word Diligence in myself and in my everyday life in the process of walking this word, and yet a list of these experiences of openings and of personal discoveries does not exist as such, while at the same time as I walk this word it is like I have recurring experiences of the word as if opening up or unfolding yet another new dimension of itself that had not previously existed as a part of me.

 

That I have made the word through the process of redefining it for me available to me for application in so many ways, in everyday moments of conversation, or in self reflections, or reviews of past relationships, or in actually writing this now, that I am aware that there exists in me in many intrinsic ways in who I am with Diligence this new found word, as supportive and present, as included in my experience of myself. And this experience includes both an ongoing release of obstructive energies, and at the same time an expansion of stability within me.

 

With awareness that wrapped into Diligence exists redefinitions of who I am in Care, and Purpose, in Work, and Patience, which altogether, as I see it so far into this, make for dimensions of Diligence itself, I also have the means to look at when Diligence within the moments of my life, falls or falters, or fades or fails in some way, that I can look at this and ask myself the How of this: Is this a moment in which for example the Cursory personality has popped up with it’s dark-mind versions of Care? Is this a moment in which I have lost touch with my Purpose in this task? Is this a moment in which I have slipped into my old-self definition of Work? Or is this a moment in which I am not remembering that I can live the word Patience, and gift myself with this?

 

 

 

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

School Of Ultimate Living: Facebook Page

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 343: Discoveries in Diligence 1

Day 343: Discoveries in Diligence 1

 

Most immediately, around me discoveries in Diligence have begun with house-keeping – where I have been recently been responding to my immediate environment with immediate direction of details: so that a new experience for me has been in experiencing myself in a directed environment. So that there is a new kind of clarity in me – a clarity in the sense of there being no accumulation process of unfinished or uncompleted moments or jobs – not an absolute – there are various tasks that are not complete – but the balance between that which is done and not done has shifted over.

 

And I see through this a different perspective in the word Tidy, and Tidiness – where something in tidiness that I did not see before – because seeing tidiness without me, outside of me, I could see no reason for it – as an end in itself, and in that way Tidiness as a required state of things seemed to me rather bizarre and unreal – because in a way I could not connect to it, and did not connect much value to it, and as well I rather liked the accidental happenstance of, for example, my discarded clothes, where for a moment the nature of the material itself crashing to the ground, would dictate its form.

 

Looking up the word Tidy I see that it apparently derives from Timely – where I see now that in Timeliness I am keeping abreast with things that happen in time – within this I see how in judging Tidiness how I have veiled the meaning of it from myself – so that to me it had become as a separate state of things without direct connection of me within it, not being Timely in directing the consequences of my practical living, seeing jobs that in practicality need to be attended to, and so, completing them, rather than abandoning them in time to be completed later – that who I am in Diligence is abreast with time. Whereas in a way through a Cursory perspective I had been seeing tidiness in separation from me, I had defined it in terms of where things go, how things look, and the imposition of a picture on to things.

 

Continuing next time…

 

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

School Of Ultimate Living: Facebook Page

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 342: Cursory Designs: Fears

 

 

Day 342: Cursory Designs: Fears

 

How or Where on Earth are we going to start with changing ourselves?

 

Such a great supportive question for me in a moment of looking at how I stand confused within a moment of seeing ‘process’ as outside of me, as this multiple dimensioned complexity, and then here comes along this question/statement which includes the words simply, How and Start, and within those words the practicality of Change.

 

So today starting here: learning to Embrace myself and staying with me in looking at Who I Am in a moment of Conflict, therefore I look into this conflict moment where I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to and entertain a line of backchat programming as the thin end of a wedge in which the Cursory personality design is triggered and then begins to unfold: here as I have seen is the inversion of Care and through that the sabotage of Diligence, as something I can practically live.

 

Who am I within this moment of abandoning what I am doing, to leave a task unfinished, to allow myself to go into an en-trance of the pattern of Who Cares? And, I don’t Care, and, It doesn’t matter, and to then go into an area of experience in which giving up is somehow glorified as me-time, while the task in hand that is in support of me seems drained of purpose or reward into images of me enslaved, in slavery. It is like there is a moment that comes along while doing a task in which my heart drops out of it, and then after that come up the excuses of Who Cares? And its variations. Excuse: I mean by that a justification for not being here responsible in word and deed in this moment in my own life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see that I am responsible for giving permission to my mind to be the bully, to take the role of being the fear inducing one within me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see that I have made myself comfortable within myself within being bullied by my mind so that I can continue with a sense of righteousness in who I am as blame, and not have to see my responsibility within this.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the victimhood that I have chosen in relation to the programmes of my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see the truth about myself that I am responsible for living as an experience of my own judgement. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when seeing in my mind an image of myself as enslaved and being obedient to authority, and even to my own authority.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge obedience to authority as a sign of weakness and inferiority, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see myself as embodying inferiority and weakness that I have judged within my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide these insights into parts of me from me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to insights into me by giving permission to my mind to shift into distraction. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be as disempowered within distraction.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in a fatal energy in which suddenly I accept that there is nothing I can do, that my efforts count for nothing, that what I am doing is futile, that inevitably what I will experience is failure.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in believing in this fatal energy to have kind of then relaxed into it, and accepted and allowed myself to give to giving up on me a positive experience.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within this and so to fear to see myself within this positivity in giving up on me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through hiding these parts of me from me, that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see this design of persuasion to not make the effort for me in support me, and then feel ok about returning to the programs of the mind.

 

There is a fear in this moment of losing myself within being forced into doing something that I do not want to do; that if I was to simply continue with the task at hand that I would somehow lose myself, that any time for me would then be all used up. And this even though what I am doing is for me, is in support of me. It is like who I am within this ‘me’ is the one that is dedicated to play truant from the school of life.

 

What kind of a world is it that I project with standing in the words: Who Cares? Here I see the underlying statement that exists within the question, that is: No one Cares. A statement of blame. Thin end of the wedge: because ‘Who Cares?’ comes up as with a shrugging off, no matter, it is nothing, as if the choice were trivial, not worth stopping for a moment of serious consideration; when all the time, the decision itself beneath this overlay is actually crucial, like a fork in the road.

 

 

 

continuing in  next post

 

 

 

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

School Of Ultimate Living: Facebook Page

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 340: Cursory vs Diligence

Day 340: Cursory vs Diligence

 

The ‘How’ of Diligence: in changing the nature of my engagement with the moments that arrive, taking into practice the changes that I have made to me in redefining the word Diligence – in words as being components of my mind – walking this in real time – I am finding Diligence to be coming up all over the place – such as in picking things up off the floor, or doing that thing before I go out of the door, there is a kind of equalization going on of things to be attended to – and yes, early days – but in beginning to walk this change I notice also other aspects of the definition that I previously did not notice, that I was living before, as if I have a new platform from which to see my old ways of engaging with the moments as they came along, and something that I see is how I had lived the opposite to Diligence in accepting and allowing the word Cursory to be plied into my ways – opposite meaning here: in opposition to – and that within that opposition I had chosen sides.

 

Cursory: meaning going rapidly over things, without attention to the details, being hasty, superficial, haphazard, careless of the job, such as wiping down a table in a cursory manner. And in looking into how I’ve been in Cursory, sounding Curse-Sorry, I see how I have taken in judgements of the ways I’ve done things in a cursory way, and then have created a personality to defend myself from the consequent experience: a personality that stands for and as judgements of expressions of Diligence, such as backchats of ‘you are so’ Fussy, Pernickety, and things like that – perceptions of others as being mean about control – being rigid, something wrong with them, spiteful thoughts, like curses – like that’s the way I do things – like it or lump it, or do the other thing – and then with that curse, a sorry as in making a job that is an apology for what it is supposed to be, and in a way, a rather sad version of itself. So a spiteful personality that is at war with diligence, with Cursory as a life-style that has to be defended. And, interestingly, there is the final trump card to be played, of: ‘I Don’t Care’. What is interesting to me about this is how the word Care plays a part both in Cursory and in Diligence, that the Care component has been kind of extracted out of Diligence, and inverted in Cursory.

 

As a line of backchat coming up in my mind – I called this a trump card – and I recognize in this the game-play and the competition gambit – but also the energetic strength that I have given in to it – given in – in the sense that in and as a part of a reaction, like for example thoughts coming together that suddenly lead into a bad experience in my mind – there are times when rather than just stopping and breathing and sorting things out with myself, as in asking me: What am I accepting and allowing that I am within these things? – Which would be an example of Diligence – Instead I have accepted and allowed this ‘I don’t care’ backchat line to act as a pivot into deciding for distraction into some different area for my attention. Like going into an automation of suddenly turning away, seeing something else, and forgetting all at once. And looking at this I see how this Cursory personality design has a trump like strength, quite a bully in a way, amongst my personalities.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate this personality design by giving in and giving up on myself when this line of backchat comes into my mind, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with a frisson of positive energy in an idea in my mind of who I am as being assertive, in an assertion of a belief of freedom and winning, in a petulance of going: Well I don’t have to – look at this – if I don’t want to, sort of walking by a bad experience in myself that nevertheless still remains within me, and getting ‘by’, accepting and allowing who I am as an apology for myself as a sad version of something that I could be.

 

Continuing…

 

 

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 337: Diligence in Breath 2

Day 337: Diligence in Breath 2

 

In slow breath I am standing once again in the settled nature of the physical dimensions, a kind of quietness, with and as, in a way, the examples of this multiple stability in which turning my head this way and that I see different aspects of my surroundings that meet together into everything. Here is my awareness of being at one with slow, as the slow breath where I am with a silky traction with the membranes of my lungs with a pace, a patience I can live, with a gentleness of apprehension of what is here, and so that slow breath is a gift that I have given to me in time that I dispense for me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not avail myself of gentleness of apprehension of my mind: that I have instead become as a reaction, and within and as reaction that I have lost this breath of patience and so with that my opportunity to live diligence in my application of who I am, when it’s like I’ve slipped into a fractionated world in which I am fractionating, separating, placing things outside of me. And so within a process of gradually releasing this I am grateful to remember: Hey! Where is Breath in all of this?

 

 

 

Continuing next time…

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 335: Diligence and Gathering the Information

 

 

Day 335: Diligence and Gathering the Information

 

Gathering the information together: I find that in ‘facing’ the point of gathering the information together I have already created a resistance – that I should ‘face’ it, and so within that, retain an option of turning away from it. There I am again on the threshold of myself as who I am.

A summary of things has got a simple maths to it that adds up to plainly how it is in me, as a group of contradictions that I have somehow got along with, with various tricks of suppression, and so never put together. And there is an anxiety that arises in me with this contradictory wanting to change and yet at the same time fearing actual change, and then demanding that I must know in advance what it is that may unfold, and fearing the reality that in seeing it all together that I will no longer be able to sustain the lie because I am aware of it. And like putting dominating personalities together in a room designed for one, there is a fear of conflict.

Anxiety also comes up as a reaction to seeing myself going into a groundless positivity, as a vision of me changed, that somehow magically I have accomplished change, and within that, a fear of the future in which I see it all collapsing. And also there I see at the starting point of this magic leap, a desire to escape from what I have been looking at that is parts of me.

So, practically, there is the tool that I have picked up along the way, which has been a step in redefining me within the word and sound of No: that in using No I have found a means of conveying value to a Yes supporting me within myself, a me that grows more tangible, and that is here quite practical because with breath I have used it as a means to coax myself to simply look through stuff I’ve written in the past, and take the step of putting it together.

As also with the word Structure, and seeing how I can direct myself in using this in practicality, such as in taking these various written posts and putting them together: doing such things as making lists for example. And an aspect of fearing structure that I noticed a while ago was how it was that when I was young and spinning stories about what happened that would serve in my mind as an excuse for what I’d done, that I came to fear the structure that is expressed in natural common sense, as in adults to a child, simple questions, that would expose me in dishonesty. So here again, bringing structure to myself with things like lists, and simple questions in support of me.

 

 

 

Continuing next time…

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.