Month: November 2014

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 252: Emotional Mechanics

November 14, 2014 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

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Day 252: Emotional Mechanics

I realized recently how I had been driving my old van while under the spell of a misapprehension – having just gone over the clock on 200,000 on the milometer, I had become used to the fact that the water temperature readings would go quite high, specially after flagging up steep hills, or stuck in a traffic jam – so I had chosen a point on the dial after which it was time to slow right down, open the window and turn on the internal heating full blast so as to drain some of the heat out of the engine, like I had chosen a point after which to start worrying and go into and as anxiety as a negative experience in my mind. Given that my life at the moment is on a shoestring and that I do not have ready money to get another vehicle or afford garage services, and that I have not learned basic mechanics, the thought of breaking down somewhere can easily pick up catastrophic undertones – so when that little red pointer on the dashboard got to this chosen point, I had conditioned myself to go into these anxiety reactions. So, the misapprehension was that this particular point on the temperature dial I had defined as the ‘danger point’ – was real, because, as I discovered when riding along with J who knows a thing or two about old diesel engines – when he leaned over and looked at the dial and told me that that was in fact quite a normalish temperature, and the needle still had far to go before even the fan coolers would jump into action. So as we drove along the needle went up, and up and then settled at a place on the dial that was way above my chosen ‘danger-point’, but my experience was now entirely different, I did not go into this anxiety, but instead enjoyed the drive.

Looking at this I realized that I was showing myself an example of how a simple piece of information can come in and change my entire experience, where somehow I had made up a belief about the meaning of the readings of this instrument, and reacted to it so many times, and had not questioned it. The consequence of this new information is that I drive faster, I am trusting that the van is not on the point of imminent break down, I am trusting that my life as me and the van as a tool for earning money is not on this point of imminent break down, my perception of the van is different, and my breathing, adrenalin levels and the well being of my physical body are no longer constantly entangled and integrated into this dial on the dashboard, where I had decided who I would be in that moment where I had set the trigger point.

Writing this out, I now have space to look under the bonnet, as it were, into my own mechanics – where the anxiety showed up at this ‘danger point’ with the backing of my whole life experience, a life in which I have travelled many years somehow without a commitment to myself to see to it that I have enough money in reserve for such situations, a life in which I chose a happy-go-lucky approach to things, a life in which I had put so much value into my own time, my own expression of me regardless of not having any money. Well not regard-less really – my regard for money was actually negative, emotional, dismissive; from teen-aged years I saw myself as far above all of that, I would prefer to live on a pittance, artists in garrets etc., living and breathing in this existence with time to turn around and look at things, consider things, make things, invent things, rather than to walk into a factory for example every day, and come home blank or with piped music still pumping round my mind, and the whole day gone, forever.

How I had defined my day however was in the service of my self interest, something that I see now with hindsight was how I had learned to service a preference for an existence as good feelings in my mind as consciousness in separation from, or regardless of my actual physical reality – this became an addiction – and through the filters of this addiction I could not see that I had chosen an existence of constant flight from the bad feelings, or that these bad feelings had been instigated originally by me as the consequential experience of me according to my self judgements. These broad statements of the shape of my life as a whole spread outwards below this current point about the temperature gauge on my dashboard – like a pyramid – or a cone – where in a moment of anxiety I get a muffled glimpse of the infra-structure layers and systems of belief that I have accepted and allowed and then, mistakenly, lived.

I had not realized that the contents of this specific moment of reaction of anxiety driving along in my vehicle were actually the whole collection of feeling of my life experience that had brought me here. Well that is kind of simple and obvious in a way, that this experience of me as who I am as the sum total of all of my experiences, my memories, my past is this what I call ‘me’, and in each of those equations of who I am within each experience or memory, all this adds up to this kind of familiarity with myself in which I can write the words ‘my life’ without quite realizing what I mean by this, or the scope of my responsibilities within it.

And seeing this, how I had ‘mistakenly’ lived ‘my life’ – this general point – in which I see a relationship with this as a reaction of regret towards it – in which as regret in relation to ‘my life’ I live a disempowerment of myself – in which I have incorporated disempowerment into my definition of myself as my life – so that within and beneath the specifics of anxiety connected to the dashboard of my vehicle there is a brooding awareness of this underlying disempowerment and design of giving up, which is there as who I am in and as my relationship to these years of life.

Continuing…

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EQAFE:

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 251: Mystery and Suppression

November 6, 2014 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

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Day 251: Mystery and Suppression

Continuing from previous post:

A part of the problem of coming into a physical dimension into and by and from and within the hands of parent beings – and into a world dominated by personalities – I am putting it in this way – because the meaning of and the experience of it all, everything – had been for me the internalizations of these parents’ projections – where in response I had defined a normality out of actually bizarre and curious personality relationships, which were yet, consistent.

There were times when I wanted to breathe the air of an existence that was rid of my father, in which I had gone into an illusion of blame, in which having accepted and allowed myself to be defined in blame, I had then exerted secretly who I was as this same reflection. In a way, as a parasitic entity, I could discard this being when I had fully internalized its structure – parasitic – in the sense that I never really considered the being for and as and in himself, but only in terms of me.

And yet, what were the terms of me, that I had absorbed, what did they consist of – who I was within this blame, this inheritance, this particular concoction of blame that was furnished with disregard, disappointment, contempt, and walking away from – who I was within the internalization of this as my attitude towards myself was sort of as an implication, rather than a direct assertion.

Through my family environment, I believed that there existed in my world these things that were ‘unmentionable’, and the secret reality of me had become an example of them, and this example had been who I am within self blame as self disregard, self disappointment, self contempt, and self ignorance. What on Earth was I doing – I had thrown myself into a gauntlet of projected definition, tumbling through a narrow world of judgements and coming out as an independent authority as a self judging mechanism in control of all that is to be hidden and denied and processed into suppression, and the world I then experienced seemed so broad and wide and yet was actually really narrow and confined. And within that wide illusion of the world, I became engaged in mystery, satisfied within my judgement that I had made it so, that it must be, that ‘mystery’ exists, a kind of game with my suppression. Kind of playing games on the edge of physical reality, as written about in the previous post, where these games become projected in physical reality in the form of movies, where how we see and show ourselves is kind of safe and in a separate dimension. It has been in such distractions that I made a comfort zone. I did not question why did I require comfort, or how did I define this comfort – but then, I did not question, I had abandoned questioning in relation to this point, I suppose that is how I protected it.

In a memory of my father introducing the family to a member of the outside world, he passes quickly over me – Here – I decide not to do the same, towards myself, this me that I am walking through, and changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in this memory, take this interaction personally, where I have gone into offence and blame, and self victimization and interpreted this event as a piece of evidence of ‘what he really thinks of me’, through my own projection of ‘who I believe I really am’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse this being as a feeding ground for self righteousness and as the target of blame. I forgive myself that I have confined and limited this being for the purposes of my own self interest. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my own value of me into feelings of righteousness instead. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this being that was also my father, for passing over – me – rather than seeing within this reaction the denial of what is obviously so, that I am passing over me repeatedly in my timeline, and here, following the construct, where I had gone into:- ‘Rather to not look at myself, at what I am actually doing here, rather to move swiftly on’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed guilt towards and connected into ‘who I am’, and that I have accepted and allowed a transition from guilt into righteousness as a pattern, as an automatic function of my MCS and so of my being, of my physical life that is Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in a pattern of blame as guilt and righteousness in which what is assured is – no change – therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, from a comfort zone, have found a need to protect myself from change, to have accepted and allowed a system of energies that I can embody and use to protect myself from change. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define change as something separate from me. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to really live the word change, and I commit myself to learn to do so. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word change to the emotion of fear, and within that I see and realise that this perspective is from the comfort zone, in which change has been postponed. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live an existence of comfort zones, where who I am within that comfort is of guilt or righteousness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this pattern of energy as a means to obstruct my investigation of myself, and my walk out of these automated systems.

Continuing…

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EQAFE:

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

Day 250: Multiple Reaction Hook

November 5, 2014 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

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Day 250: Multiple Reaction Hook

There is a kind of frequency that comes out of movies quite often, it is the sound of multiple reactions of personalities trapped in mind wars, over shouting each other to the point where it becomes impossible to make out the words, and in the story meanwhile there is something of great importance in the physical that must be done. This frequency kind of jars within me, sort of resonating as if on an off note, and I have gone into reaction to this frequency of ‘rowing’, I feel trapped, I remember an experience in which I had been fully subscribed in my participation in such things just exactly like in the movies, with impersonations of jealousy, offense, resent, spite, blame, in competition, power games, manoeuvres, strategies, and meanwhile, beneath the babble of the row, this feeling of being trapped. That there was this stuck point within me, which was the denial upon which the victory depended, upon which this whole sequence of automation depended. What was the fear at this point – that letting it go would be to ‘lose’ and to ‘fail’ within the cult of ‘winning’, that letting it go would be to give control away to a hostile force, and within all of that, a fear of the consequential experience of diminishment and powerlessness, insubstantiality. It is interesting how in movies, the common sense solution in a situation is graphically displayed to the audience, while the protagonist personalities wrestle over something trivial, it is as if they have become mind possessed, while all the time, the clock is ticking, that physical ratchet dropping on cog after cog – that is the point of suspension – that there is a scare-city of time been established.

The practice of breath.

I noticed quite recently how in the situation of being with a group of people, I had gone into various reactions – according to each person – it was not that I had stopped them, but in my breath and slowed down within myself, I was able to see these things for what they were – as projections – and I recognized also from that, that this same situation could have in the past been only recognized as overwhelm-ment – the difference being me, and who I am within this moment. Recognizing these reactions, one by one they were then easily resolved, I could check things out in different ways with different people and with myself.

Continuing…

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EQAFE:

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

See ref: Eqafe :The Atlanteans walking Denial

Day 249: Overwhelmingness smoke and mirrors around Denial

November 4, 2014 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

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Day 249: Overwhelmingness and smoke and mirrors around Denial

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a cluster of information that is in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the strength of my denial will be unequal to my realization and within that, that I am powerless to prevent a metamorphosis into an experience of diminishment. I forgive myself that within this very fear I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the loss of my resources of self dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this ‘fearful’ realization will be information about the very unacceptable core nature of my being, that I will then be forced to experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be ‘forced’ into an experience except by the behest of my acceptance and allowance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the magic power to deny a part of myself as being actually me, that within the confines of my mind that I have assumed the authority to allow or not allow the existence of part of me, and then to believe that that is real, that life can be simulated without those parts of me that I have rejected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to personify this superiority as myself within my mind dictating aspects of myself as existent or as non existent, and therefore standing on denial, and giving consent to the process of suppression.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to therefore question the existence of such a magic power of judgement as Self, or to see that the opportunity of the question itself was kind of loosened from the foundations of the denial, shaken by the word ‘assumption’ through which it can be seen that there was responsibility within this, that nothing is such as within this ‘magic’ of ‘the way it is’, but is instead within the reality of that which I have accepted and allowed as who I am, that which I have accepted and allowed as my concern within it whether that has been a concern of continuation of self rejection, or a concern of expansion of self investigation, self intimacy, exploration, realignment, and realization and living of that concern into the wider reality of physical self in the context of physicality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my own awareness of my own authority as Here into a personification of judgements of reality. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed within this stance, myself to accept and allow an existence for myself in which I stand in a relationship of hostility towards myself, where in effect my concern has been within and for the purpose of my self confinement, where in fear of information I protect myself from the uprise of it in me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed within my fear of exposure of myself to me, that I have accepted and allowed a tyranny of denial as part of my existence. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a relationship to this tyranny as a victim of it, in mute blame of it, in resignation and giving up,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within rejection of a part of me, to initiate a belief in me as an attitude towards my real self – of indifference – in which as a gesture of deliberate ignorance, I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon real self interest/concern as this physical substance here, and have instead accepted and allowed myself to be directed by self as energy interest/concern or for the ends of personality self interest, within and as a construct of the mind.

Continuing…

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EQAFE:

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.