Day 408: Walking with SOUL, the word Dispute (8)

 

Day 408: Walking with SOUL, the word Dispute (8)

 

Listening to Sunette explain in simple terms for everyone the Essence of Self Creation. in this video from SOUL, Embracing Your Utmost Potential, I feel inspired. It is that inspiration that brings me here to write this, her sharing of the gifts of the path that she has walked, that includes the inspirations of those that have walked and shared before. The transition from Listening to Hearing: there is an inspiration process in those words.

 

What is Inspiration, what does it consist of, who am I within and as inspiration? From the sample of my experience of this specific video, what can I say about that specific inspiration? For me it is like the realization of something that is at once so deeply personal within me, and at the same time through that, an opening realization of a deeper level, like an insight into beingness that is everywhere in this world of living awareness, so the glimpse of such a thing is also like a glimpse of reality, with that glimpse being kind of like a spark or a touchstone, and kind of ‘fired up’ speaks of this viral nature tendency of the inspiration, of the message it contains. In a moment of access to that Value of Life in me within the inspiration, the word Utmost is carried, supported, empowered, aligned, vitalized. Inspired, to do: the action follows.

 

So, anyway that is my recommendation to give yourself the time to listen to and to hear Sunette’s Recording. It is free, it is up on youtube, and it is with one click here.

 

Now, on this journey, that it’s become, with the word Dispute – I make a note of how the word Inspiration has come up in this context, in the process of redefining the word Dispute.

 

Where I had arrived at was how in the word Explain I could both assist and support myself in deliberately bringing stability to a moment of expression, where I have stepped into this living space, and then disconnected, lost my grounding for a moment, in a reaction to me stepping out.

 

In painting, and experimenting with paint, I found a personal way of practically living Readiness, in the sense of learning that the first step onto the blank canvas was only that: that I had created a space for me to somehow feel my way into a process of expressions of me that I knew nothing of, relationships to things that I did not know about. And so I learned to just dive into the water, so to speak, in sort of playing about in light-hearted scribbling or doodling (that actually I had practiced quite a bit at school) there existed like the beginnings of a thread, or of a strand that seemed to open up, or a definition of some sort that gradually assembled. Here I am not talking about painting but the relationships that I have made to parts of me unknown to me, where I did create a space in which the explorations of such things was possible. That was the beginning of a process. So yes in the context of redefining the word Dispute, here I see that I have previously made tools, developed techniques and ways of allowing unknown parts of me to emerge.

With an art being simply a skill, all beings are therefore artists, in that perspective: throughout the generations of our lives how we have created and lived and practiced and elaborated skills and so ingrained them into us, and so gathered them together, skills on skills that form a profile of the way that we apply ourselves and recognize ourselves within the application. And yet, as my understanding goes, in incarnation, how such skills come through is not intact, but simply as a point or points of potentiality. Then, in that perspective, beings kind of naturally feel their way in discovery and creation processes to access and embrace these points of potential and so to develop and enhance and strengthen them. As an insight into that tendency of Being, that information is for all, as support of all Being; it has an expansive quality, it is inspirational.

 

It is from this perspective that I feel comfortable to be writing about my use of paint, an art or skill that I designed for me, to both explore and to make a medium in which things can be found, or discovered. It was as if somewhere in me I connected to a point of certainty that I was capable of such a thing, not only that but inwardly it was of great importance to me, to in a way through my own hands create a space for exploration, and expansion, to within that create a situation where I can abide with the question of, seriously, What the fuck am I doing? While at the same time being stable in myself with that, seeing that ‘knowing what I’m doing’ in this case is kind of not a condition of doing it or not doing it. It was as if I realized how it was necessary for me to create the conditions for an experience of acceptance of expression of aspects of me that I had not seen before, or did not know, and within creating those conditions for my own support, I became stronger in my self.

 

 

 continuing next post…

 

 

 

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

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Day 407: Walking with SOUL, the word Dispute (7): Explanation

 

Dispute and Explanation

 

What I am sharing here are points that have come with the definition and redefinition processes of who I am in relation to the word Dispute. Why am I writing about this right now is in the context of Redefining the word Dispute, where for example in the opportunity of communication, I make sure that I am not already participating in an argument that does not exist, that has no substance, give myself the time to check what I have said, what is my actual starting point? What exists within me as reactions to a remark that I just made?

So easy with a lot of practice to eventually develop expertise, a kind of fluency, in instantly coming up with a reason, an excuse, an explanation, a deflection of some kind, a redirection of the narrative: It was just that… this and that and that… with, ‘It was Just that’ – like a setting or a frame, for that which follows. And yet in that moment also there is an awareness in me – of how it is that I have shifted into a world of blame, and spite, through that very expertise, within which there is an ample spread laid out, of skills of deception and manipulation – that if – in defining the experience as being cornered – in an area of Dispute – that in that situation – then how I am defined in explanation is from a starting point of emotion: fear of being exposed, found out, that is fear of being out there, in real life, of coming out as real, of walking through that door.

A solution that came up was in strengthening my stand: how I could stabilize myself in Dispute with Explanation: Grounded Explanation, I mean releasing ‘Explanation’ from the functions of defense and excuse, and as well the judgements of myself as being in – or being about to go into – that excusing act of explanation – I see immediately how with release of these energetic contents, how the word may – instead – support me, where in the Explanation: ‘Everything’ gets Grounded, and within that, lines are drawn to Earth, positions plotted, a sense of a location of where/who/why/how I am that is opening in my words, a part of me that I do not know, that simply stepping out there in a living opportunity of communication I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on who I am in Explanation, in the backchat of, It’ll take too long, There is no time.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience in myself a sort of compression at the brink of an opportunity of communication. I commit myself to flag this experience of compression, this sense of being squashed, to really more accurately define it, when it comes down on me like that, so that I may see the instrumentality of it and change it. Writing here, I see that much of my backchat has got that put-down, squashing, undermining tone, that projected on the world creates an expectation in my mind of negative reception, where as a tone within the undermining backchats of, ‘It’ll take too long, There is no time’, I have given away my living time for me into the hands of others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to this experience of compression and to then participate in being hurried by an imagined expectation, in which I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being as if within a countdown in a field of limited patience, as if that were my only breathing space. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live patience in myself in relationship to me in the area of Dispute.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in the opportunity of communication for being too slow, for being too disconnected, for being out-of-step with things, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of discomfort in my body that comes over me, out of my acceptance of these judgements of my worth. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have these expectations of myself: that in my presentation of myself, everything I say reflects an image of myself as ‘understanding’, being fully in control of me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this image of understanding and control to become a condition of communication, where in my mind I firstly run it by my censorship of me. I forgive myself that I have judged myself and accessed shame in failing to meet my expectations. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access disappointment in myself and to sink backwards and away from the living edge of conversation into a familiar quietness of regret of who I find myself to be that is not good enough to meet my expectations of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown parts of me that might possibly appear in my words, that may undermine this image. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through participating in fear of unknown parts of me, to have closed the doors of curiosity to parts of me I do not know. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose patience with myself as I walk with me – from denial of parts of me that I have suppressed – into a new area of support for me, with a new curiosity towards these parts, because in seeing realising and understanding that the denials and the suppressions of parts of me were real, then in seeing that, it simply follows that parts of me remain unknown to me, and, that the extent of that remains unknown.

 

I forgive myself that I have never really given myself the time to consider this: that much of me remains unknown to me, that much of who I am is in fact an undiscovered world. I commit myself to bring this realization with me, to bring and walk and live this realization into my expression, to bring this into my redefinition of who I am, and into how I stand within and as Dispute, in the context of this undiscovered nature of ourselves upon a so far undiscovered Earth.

 

The fact of there being Existential Process going on, waves of change throughout existence – for beings in all dimensions – such news comes through for all of us in current Eqafe recordings – where the existence of Eqafe itself, of Desteni, of the Portal, marks this opening for all of us on Earth, a time in which we realise that in ourselves we have not really yet discovered Earth, not yet allowed ourselves to live the very substance of ourselves, and that we have within and through our very words, defined ourselves in exile from the physical, as interpretations of our substance into energy. In redefining Physical, all of us together are in the dawning of a realization of a deeper reality, in which there is ahead of us a process of walking this into our lives, and how we stand, and what we stand on Here, in and as and for.

 

 

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

Day 406: Walking with SOUL, the word Dispute (6)

 

Dispute: Communication Opportunity

 

Through my explorations of this word, as it exists in me, I have come to see how I have been misinterpreting – an opportunity of communication – through both fear of insecurity within my own authority, and fear experiences of self spite projections, generated through reactions in the word Dispute, as I had conditioned it, and lived it out.  I have written about this in recent posts…

 

There are explanations that are like structures of excuse-from-life and self-deception, and there are explanations in self honesty in which the how and why of what I have become just unfolds and shows its blueprint. Ex-plan, De-Scribe, Write.

 

With the word Dispute, I see what I have been carrying within this aspect of myself, and bringing it with me into meetings, and then in a sort of natural real opportunity of communication and creation that exists in meeting, the point comes up now of seeing how I go into an experience of disempowerment. And something that I’m seeing is how this disempowerment has become like a normalized profile part of my experience of me, blended into me, in which the decision to stay back, to not participate seems in the moment deceptively brand new, unique, appropriate and specific, and yet is the exact same decision over and over that I bring myself into this place as part of who I am.

 

So, continuing into the processes of Redefinition of Dispute, and into the Question: How in the situation of a meeting, how can I stand within awareness of communication opportunity, in the natural processes of expansion and sharing, that Communication represents, where I can stay grounded in the certainty of me, yes Ready to meet what comes, yet ready in a very simple neutral way, that, as I showed myself with Courage I could simply drop the baggage that was present in that moment, and simply move myself from out of hesitation.

 

 

With the word Attention, the question of How do I attend to things, is really an extension of common sense, and yet I had not seen that. The question of who I was within attending-to kind of went over my head each time with the word Attention, where I see now how I separated from the word Attention, from who I am within attending-to what is here, and then defined Attention as a separate state as if it were a sort of sovereign quality that could generally be applied to things. Yet in attending to some thing, some words being said, to some expression, I am aware within myself of Care as part of this attendance, and that who I am within how I am attending to this moment is not disempowered. In attending to some thing there is a sense for me in embracing what it is I see needs to be attended to. So I commit myself to when and as this word Attention comes to remind myself in common sense and respect to the root of the word what this means.

 

Defining parts of self in retaliation to authority, means that part of self is defined in Dispute, and as I’ve seen in my example of me that from a crucible of emotional insecurity and self-spite, how within the word that I became disempowered, where I had allowed my mind authority of ways and means to service my avoidance of Dispute, to systemize it even, for me.

 

So looking at this now I see how in the process of grounding the word Dispute, I can also own it more, because I have seen how my acceptance of who I am had been compromised by me through all the ways and means described in previous posts – while who I am in fact is that I stand on Earth in Dispute of the very base foundations of this world system, in Dispute of acceptance of these programming effects and consequence, in Dispute of so many things that are being maintained in physical reality, and have been through the generations, is not conflicted, is standing firmly on the ground, engaging in, or attending to Dispute – not as an emotional experience – but as a communication opportunity – maybe even tweak some change or open up something that seems to need opening – or further specify what is happening or going on in me – or add something – looking to solution – and also being at the same time attentive in consideration of the words being heard – these all are possibilities…

  

 

 

Continuing next post…

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

Day 405: Walking with SOUL, the word Dispute (5)

 

Dispute and Courage and Readiness

 

On being Ready, as like the living experience of Courage; in which I walk a readiness to meet what comes, in which the option to live this word real-time comes up, and I take it in my stride, and I feel a sort of readiness where my breathe comes up to meet the world, an equality with the moment.

 

For me, a mini break-through in way, because my choice to live a word that moment was not suppressed/forgotten, and what I found through walking it, was an experience in my body of Readiness, a living attribute of simply walking along. How Words come to support me as I’m walking redefining words: I do not understand: an idea comes to me about my Being on some deep level expressing into words, that through my everyday perceptions then seem to just appear somehow… and… explanations, explanations to myself as kind of structures of stability…

 

But anyway… here while I am also in the process of walking this word Dispute, and redefining it for me, comes along a moment in which I am preparing to go through the front-door and into the outside-of-the-house world. What is actually involved within this ‘preparation’ process of going out is having the key, cross-referencing the having of the key, that I actually in fact have the physical key to the door. And something that I noticed in that moment was how the stress was interfering with my fingers. You know how if you let your fingers simply search the pocket, they simply just retrieve whatever; whereas if the mind is busy down there searching too, it all becomes conflicted and confused.

 

And so there was a moment of, No! I do not accept this horrid feeling in my fingers! Like this moment of physical support from this living hand is totally rejected, disregarded, while controls and reasonings take authority in my mind. And so I take my hand out and shake the fingers, loosen up the tendons, open my hand, breathe. This is in a practical moment of today. Though yes I see that there are busy constructs resonating Security/Imprisonment, and a fear of having forgotten something, like an aspect of a wider fear-of-loss, but I am in a practical moment, and I have not time for this right now, like yes I am constantly exposed to many roots that go right down into me, sometimes I know not how far into the very core of me, or source of me, and yet right now in this moment what I see is that I am standing in the darkness of a narrow corridor that leads to the front-door, and I recognize that I am in the experience of Dispute, and that I must just in this real-time moment clear myself, cross reference the physical key, and move myself.

 

Here where the word Courage came up in me, for me to deliberately walk Courage – Where in Courage I can say, ok there are these fear constructs, there are these multitude of relationships through this key and the round metal things in my pocket, that altogether resonate throughout me, but also, yes it is a fact that Courage can be lived as well as all of this, that I can step into this word right now and practically move forward. And so sounding out the word I stepped through the door and closed it firmly, the decision had been made, and I walked into the welcome of the living air. Phew. What a relief to get outside from all of that! And setting out, I decided to take the word Courage along with me in my awareness, which is how I came to discover that experience of readiness, that had always been available to me, but yet that I hadn’t given room for.

 

 

 

Continuing next post…

 

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life