Day 299: ‘Lost’ in Meaninglessness

 

 

Where I left off writing last time was with, in a way, a memory of a state of becoming intrigued by this apparent ‘secrecy’ that had become my accepted interpretation of my own suppressions, that I also projected on the world, where this intrigue became positively charged, while at the same time the suppression held down tight maintaining as I did a judgment of self, a definition of self as an absolute of worthlessness, and as an experience of shame.

 

Continuing… The House of Lost: Through the image of ‘a house along the way’, already is implied a story, in the context of a journey, and so, within the journey, a life, a starting point, and a purpose, in this writing, the purpose being to stand up from the patterns that I have accepted and allowed as the matrix of who I am, and to assist myself and others to walk from out of this experience of the mind and into the physical in line with and as Life.

 

So, having opened up the ‘house’ of the word ‘lost’ a few times now along the way, I come back to it again, seeing more inside it than I saw before, like as with the illustrative dream, a room I had not noticed. Like asking a new question: when I ask myself the question of how does this word apply to physical life, and I have to pause for a moment and look around, and there is for me, no obvious and immediate connection, but a momentary experience of dissonance – and it becomes obvious how it is for me that I have used this word primarily as a component of an emotional reality, with very few actual parts connected to the physical.

 

What of this emotional reality that I have accepted and allowed to exist and function within the word ‘lost’, and what feeling, what positive reality, scenario, or movie? Because for sure this ‘lost’ has functioned as a component of this system that I instigated, accepted and allowed to be, so that who I am in the experience of ‘lost-ness’, is from how I have defined this word within my mind, and who I am within this word, which I see now is as a multiple energy relationship within the confines of my mind, and hardly if at all with reference lines to physical reality.

 

“Lost!” In the media world I found vast selections of ready made narrative to suit a refinement strategy of converting who I am as and in ‘lost’ as a bad experience into and as feelings of mystery/adventure drama: The Lost World, Lost Illusion, Lost in Space, Lost at Sea, the non existent book of the Strange discovery of the compelling Mystery of the Lost Being in the Lost Library of the Lost language of the Lost Labyrinthians!

 

Absorbing all of this into the blueprint of ‘lost’ I began to live a self projected in the framework of a story, as a story. Who am I as the story teller, when I myself have become the story, is as if I had already been and gone and ended; so that within this, whatever happened, happened. Being as at the same time the recipient of entertainment and the experience of entertainment, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have released myself from responsibility and immediate direction of myself here, that I have created a whole mind-game for myself within and as ‘lost’, while not seeing and realizing that the very significance of ‘lost’, the very reason that I would so much elaborate on it, extend it, why this process was exigent to me was that I was living as a definition of myself as meaningless and into that specific lessness as who I am, I had included a subsidiary definition of myself as ‘lost’, ‘lost’ not as a positive feeling experience at all but as a catastrophic event, from a catastrophe that did not in fact exist.

 

 

Continuing…

 

 

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 298: From Meaninglessness into Positively Lost

Day 298: From Meaninglessness into Positively Lost

 

Continuation from the previous post…

Accepting and allowing a relationship towards meaninglessness as living out being ‘trapped’ within it, I believed in my mind that I should therefore make a survey of the situation, make plans for what to do with myself, how to go on from here, given this ‘reality’ that I dare not show myself was not real in fact, but something I invented. Seeing this illusion of ‘trappedness’ within this meaninglessness, as a reality, therefore as I saw it, my only way forward was into it; finding accommodation in it, comfort in it, positive conversion of the points within it that I had established in my negative experience, so that therefore I could live with myself as who I am as a positive feeling entity, that was growing out of meaninglessness. And the nature of the positivities was shaped by the words that I had invested into meaninglessness. So: as with ‘lost’, rather than looking more closely at this lostness, with its aura of fear, and seeing and realizing for myself that I had in fact ascribed this word to ‘who I am’ in the shock of realizing the harsh reality consequence of my daydreaming drift through school time, and in the experience of who I am as meaningless, in which I had effectively pulled the plug on having purpose in the world; instead, I elaborated ‘lost’ into a polarity, so that I could abide in positive feelings with this ‘lost’ as a resource.

 

Recognizing that much of me was invested in this assumption of meaninglessness, in which that I believed that I was ‘trapped’, then this point to me gained a mysterious significance, and my interest became inflamed into a fascination. Who I was towards this fascination that possessed me, was kind of suspicious of it, that it somehow contained some evil, and I was disempowered within the fascination, like being drawn helplessly in. I did not see how it was that I was looking at myself as the definitions that I had made of me within my judgements of myself as in being meaningless, as in having no meaning, no purpose, no significance, no framework of life to walk into, and it was who I was within the harshness of these judgements that I had suppressed within me that I now perceived as mysterious, perceiving in the world that there was in fact beneath it all, a secret.

 

Continuing …

 

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 297: Meaninglessness: ‘Not Interested’

 

Entering into something some event some task some meeting in which a programming exists: so that from the outset I have began within this moment into all and everything that unfolds from the equations of this entrance to this moment, and so I en-trance myself in script, with this entrancement as the starting point of who I am.

‘Not interested’.

Therefore first of all seeing and realizing something today as I began this writing, that I was within a particular reaction to myself, as not being interested. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and carry on within and as the jurisdiction of a judgement of myself in which I have dismissed myself, and that I have accepted and allowed myself to include into this judgement, an energy of irritation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in irritation combined with judgements of myself because I see realise and understand that it is my fear avoidance relationship that I have accepted and allowed with these bad feelings that I have used to justify a shift or change away from the task in front of me that is here. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within a fear of conflict at the outset of my decision to practically in writing open up for me what is actually really going on within this consciousness design. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to align ‘not interested’ with an experience of boredom. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this backchat of NOT INTERESTED to become as a reflection of the world towards me defining who I am within and as meaninglessness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to this and to believe in this as an actual reason to not go on.

So I stop, and I breathe. The war is over if I let it.

 

So now – further into this meaninglessness construction that I put together in my mind that I see and realise to be an act of negligence and a giving up on self option or strategy.

 

The magical and myth-driven imaginational personality extension of the ‘Golden Thread’ represented in a way, a means that I accepted and allowed myself to find positive experience from out of the negative of meaninglessness. There was a problem that I had created: that in going into hostility and retaliation towards education blurred with authority, and defining other people as having meaning in their educational and career, place, in the system paths, that this retaliation and hostility then became substantiated into meaninglessness, as protection of it. Thus I had closed off for myself at the same time a major route of learning and expansion and participation in the world, together with an attitude towards this stance, a major route of sharing with myself and opportunity of intimacy with self.

 

It’s easy in looking back on this to see how charged and energized as I was in who I was in meaninglessness, how it was that I did not step back for a moment and look at the situation in common sense. I had a resistance towards or a fear towards experiencing myself as these emotions; as this hostility and retaliation, and the emotions that I had already substantiated also into meaninglessness, experiences of helplessness, and directionlessness.

 

So now, at the inception of the personality of meaninglessness there was also a sense of being trapped. All of this took place in my mind fifty years ago, and yet up to now I have not looked at it and I have not changed it, that means that I have accepted and allowed it to remain to be so, and this is plainly evident as I look around me in my life now, I see the the consequence of my living as these structures and illusions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am ‘trapped’, and for not allowing myself to see how much the experience of this follows out of my acceptance and allowance of myself as victim to the helplessness that I accepted and allowed myself to substantiate into my definition of meaninglessness as who I am. That simply ‘I can move myself’ is a fact that I commit myself to remind myself in stuckness, and physically moving, and in those moments of paralysis in which ‘They Are All So Busy’ seems to fuel a step out from participation, and into observation only.

 

Continuing…

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 296: Anxiety and Best Potential

 

 An opportunity here:

Watch this: –> Let’s Talk About You

 

…wherein opening all aspects of myself to be seen, I see as well.

 

My reaction: Yes for sure anxiety moved inside me.

What is it like to be me as I look for a moment through the eyes of the process of all life at me, and see how I actually really stand right now in relationship to my best potential, how do I feel about it, what is it that I’m living as within this?

 

My relationship to my ‘best potential’: that I had been keeping it away from me. I had separated from it, while in myself I had experienced anxiety and fear of not being able to rise to this great thing that I had put away from me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project ‘best potential’ into a future in my mind, in a scenario in which I believed that I was working ‘towards’ something. I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see it is my decision to be and live my best potential in every moment. In the context of this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate anxiety within my self as part of my relationship to ‘best potential’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in shame in my relationship to ‘best potential’, where, rather than utilizing this to change myself, I have suppressed the point. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in shame and guilt in seeing myself in this moment here in separation from my best potential. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word ‘better’ with negative energy, so that within this word I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to include reactions to authority where I had absorbed a realm of ‘betterment’ as an expression of the demands of the system and authority towards goals and purposes out there not a part of who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word better, and yet brush by this reaction. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed experiences of competition within the word better, so that within better, I forgive myself that I have accepted winning and losing to exist.

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 295: Meaninglessness: Nausea and The Golden Thread

Day 295: Meaninglessness: Nausea and The Golden Thread

 

“ With having words within the mind, and having energy attached to them, people seldom realise that you are creating yourself through an experience in your mind, and from there, because your being is channeled into the experience of a word, you then embody it physically, and then start creating it in your life…”

Atlanteans, Meaninglessness series, 348

 

Interesting in how as described in the previous post coming from the establishment of the point of who I am as meaninglessness, in the context of other children going off to universities, signifying to me that they had ‘meaning’, and in comparison that I had not, that, following from that, in my explorations of the writings of the world, that I came across ‘Nausea’, a book written by Jean Paul Sartre. What had attracted me to this publication was the cover; a detail of one of Dali’s paintings, featuring a melted clock.

 

In my teens I had developed methods and techniques of selecting books from libraries and bookshops, that had a personal religious/spiritual dimension; what selection that I made was according to the recognition of a ‘golden thread’, believing that there was a subtle guidance going on, that it was up to me to use my sensitivity to detect. Factors such as impulsive samplings of text, illustrations on the cover, the physical feel of the book, the texture of the paper, the smell of the printing ink, all of these combined into the selection of a book as the next step into my exploration into the writings of the world.

 

As such, I would kind of feel my way along the shelves. What felt ‘right’ to me, I defined within myself as ‘intuition’. Writing about this now, I can see how ‘meaninglessness’ had already taken root, that already in my life, out of a starting point of meaninglessness I had resolved to search outside for meaning, and that I had given up my self direction, for an imaginary guide in helping me to find it. Thus, I had instituted a ‘golden thread’ to protect me from an experience of myself as meaninglessness within a world of meaninglessness.

 

Anyway, so thus it was that I alighted on and selected this piece of writing, titled, ‘Nausea’. I can see now, how it was that I so readily absorbed the contents; here was in my mind, an authority: as a ‘published writer’, as an author of a ‘classic’, as a respected ‘philosopher’, ‘thinker’, who was describing this experience that I recognized within myself, this meaninglessness; so here within my mind, I had found connection, and so I absorbed within my mind an emotional and judgemental perspective of existence as a ‘loathsome emptiness’, as if it were real. Through this apparently supportive ‘guidance’ of a ‘golden thread’, I had found a confirmation of my definition of myself as meaninglessness.

 

Recognizing how it is that I have ‘been’ defining and living my personalizations of words as tagged with energy, so as towards in lack of my recognition of this eventually encompassing my living vocabulary; that would be the ultimate of separation, in which a lock-in of the core of beingness has been completed, with self projected as a personal matrix of definitions of who I am as energy polarity functioning as an energy driven personality within a world in which equality is literally inconceivable, and consequently non-existent in the world system: therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell on my experience living as who I am as self defined as energy within and as the words that I have lived as my vocabulary.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘meaninglessness’, and for not allowing myself to see that within this I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the fact that I have not yet substantiated ‘meaning’ for myself, or yet allowed myself to recognize myself as ‘meaning’, within those moments in my life in which I have felt a genuine fulfilment.

 

Self-Forgiveness on some of the reactive words (that I have lived as energy) in this:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in a ‘golden thread’ as something real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the words ‘golden thread’ to exist within me as an image of a subtle guidance through reality, a guidance that I have placed within my mind as separate from me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to exist within me the words ‘golden thread’ as a reference to a mythical labyrinth as if real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to exist within me, within the words ‘golden thread’ an experience in my mind of ‘lostness’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘lost’ within my definition of myself as ‘meaninglessness’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear of ‘lostness’ within my perception of everybody else having direction, and a place to go. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that everybody else except for me has got a direction to go in, and that within this thought I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear within that ‘I am different, and less than others’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as meaningless as a comparison to others in my world, through which thought I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lacking something vital, and therefore empty in some vital way. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in this ‘emptiness’ as something real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret the feelings in my body, of a collapsing diaphragm as a confirmation of the reality of the emptiness that I have instituted in my mind as who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize the collapse of hope as an experience of disappointment in myself in which I had been supporting myself as a fantasy in my mind, and then experienced myself as that fantasy collapse, and then experienced myself as sadness, as if I had discovered the truth of me, that I am less than others, that I am lacking a direction and a path in life, because I have not ‘meaning’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give authority to ‘Jean-Paul Sartre’, as a ‘published writer’, as respected ‘thinker’, as respected ‘philosopher’, over and above my own authority in checking out for me within myself the significance to me of my own experience. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through undermining my own self authority, to have accepted as true for me, another being’s interpretation of their experience. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the word ‘nausea’ to exist within me as defined as ‘the loathsome emptiness of existence’. I forgive myself that through not checking with myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘loathsome emptiness’ is a perception of something real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself substantiate who I am as meaninglessness with the words ‘nausea’ and ‘loathsome emptiness’, even though physical nausea, and loathing were never part of my experience. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through abandoning my own authority to have accepted and allowed as real another person’s judgement of existence as a ‘loathsome emptiness’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project who I am as meaninglessness onto existence. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my reading of ‘Nausea’, to define who I am as ‘meaninglessness’ within the word ‘existential’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the word ’existential’ to exist within me, tagged as a technical expression of philosophy that was separate from me, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this word to justify and confirm who that I have believed myself to be in ‘meaninglessness’.

 

Continuing…

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

 

Day 294: Meaninglessness: Backchat 2

 

 

 

 

Since the beginning of January I have been keeping a diary with the specific intention of using pages with their actual physical dates written into them. I see that this can be supportive within substantiating myself in reference to real actual physical time, and as a reminder to me of the value of this time, this life-time in the physical dimensions. Along with ‘resolve’, I now walk ‘persistence’ also, as to become a dimension of ‘resolve’; through persisting I am forwarding my resolve through physical time. Who I am as persistence supports my stability as I continue to examine specific dimensions of a personality of giving up, arising out of meaninglessness, and this backchat: I HAVE NO FUTURE. Whereas this personality was formed in the self interested scope of immediacy, now with breath and in and as persistence in time and space and in resolve I can use this word to support my own stability.

 

Who am I within and as the background of this belief, machine code, command prompt wording of backchat that it must be so that: I HAVE NO FUTURE? When I look at how it is that these words seemed appropriate to me, at the time, I see how in that moment of formulation, that the words had seemed to accommodate and contain the pattern of energies that I was in: and it was this that I impressed into the words, I HAVE NO FUTURE. When I look into moments of hearing through my ears this saying of I HAVE NO FUTURE, I see that they are features of a screenplay, they are like the tragic moments of giving up while facing up to ‘all being lost’. ‘ALL BEING LOST’: it is like another conception of energy that has no comprehension of physical reality, working as another flashcard in the series, in this play-out of the pattern into giving up.

 

Looking into ‘future’ and seeing how this in my mind was charged with feeling of hope, the realization moment that I HAVE NO FUTURE, has also been an experience of the collapse of hope, and so experience of disappointment. I forgive myself that I have created an image in my mind of the future as a projection of an energy feeling that I have defined as hope. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to exist within myself an image of the future that had no foundation in physical reality. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on this hope as a source of positive energy. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my relationship to the collapse of hope within me, to become part of my definition of myself within I HAVE GOT NO FUTURE, and through that, informing ‘who I am as meaningless.’

 

 

Continuing…

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 293: Meaninglessness 2: Backchat

 

 

continuing from day 291…

It was over the summer at the end of school, when all the kids I hung around with were getting their results and going off to different universities, and a comparison came up: they have all got futures, I have not: I HAVE GOT NO FUTURE. Their different futures are expressions of their different meanings, therefore, I have no meaning, and so then I accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of myself as meaninglessness. I observe these kids making their practical arrangements to go, and I am hanging around, and I think, THEY ARE ALL SO BUSY. In the memory of this experience attached now to these backchats, my body goes into a physical disempowerment, my arms are hanging, I am sort of hovering on my knees, uncertain of my ground. I have gone into an experience of disengagement, and being as stood back from the face of things: where am I to go, where to point my feet. And within this experience of loss in having lost my thread, a sense of emptiness, resourcelessness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use these words memories and experiences as subsidiaries to my definition of myself as meaninglessness, where within and as a personality of meaninglessness I have accepted and allowed this sentence THEY ARE ALL SO BUSY to become a trigger as a backchat. It is also a statement of blame: I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame the kids of my group for ‘going away’, as I saw it, through the eyes of my own self interest. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as less-than these kids, because I had accepted and allowed within the mind that I HAVE GOT NO FUTURE. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed thus the experience of inferiority within and as a part of my definition of who I am as meaninglessness. Within THEY ARE ALL SO BUSY, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition meaninglessness with blame, and in so doing, that I had avoided the obvious question of my own responsibility. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a victim within the game of blame, and so become a victim within and as who I am as meaninglessness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a physical reaction of disempowerment to follow from this backchat; I disengage this backchat from it’s function in this construct. If as or when it comes up, I will stop, and breathe, I do not accept this backchat anymore. And I check my physical body, is there something held, suspended, and I let my breath out and I make sure that I am here, that my feet are on the ground. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘having a future’ meant to be going to university, which in turn meant having a meaning/purpose, while ‘having no future’ was then, simply, everything else. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let these words come up in me and not question them, or cross check them.

 

Continuing…

 

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 292: RESOLUTION

 

 

 

Physical Time Reference: New Year’s Day 2016

In the time book of the year, the first day is scripted as a day of resolution. What and how would ‘resolution’ be if redefined within the context of reality, here on New Year’s Day 2016.

A new page, and a step back for a moment, ‘resolution’, the living of this word as means by which a pattern may be changed, written on the first page of the year. In a book, the first page is pretty important; it defines the book. It is the title of the book called RESOLUTION. In resolution I affirm my permanence, because this is how I have committed myself to stand through time.

And to learn to stand through time: to learn to stand by who I am as meaning within and as the statement:

I commit myself to learn to Live these physical self word components as redefined, defined within the context of LIFE, because I see and realise and understand that RESOLUTION is a stand for and with and in support of LIFE as Equality and Oneness and What is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word resolution with memories of broken resolution for which I have judged myself, and so have polarized the word with content of negative experience. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others for their lack of strength to maintain their resolution, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself from seeing how in reality I am living in fear of who I am because I have judged myself as weak, and held myself to account within that, and held me as that, defined as that as absolute. So therefore I commit myself to learn that I can grow stronger, I commit myself to learn the facts of physical life, that change is incremental, that not being able to assert the immediacy projected by the mind is not a failure, but a misinterpretation of the nature of reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word resolution with contempt so that I do not have to see and experience the harshness of these self attacks as judgements, that I do not have to experience myself as defined within inferiority. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my self contempt in which I have accepted and allowed myself to conceal from me the very means by which I protect myself from my own experience of overwhelmment and conflict. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made a decision to keep the word resolution at a distance from me so that I do not have to face myself and who and what that I’ve become within and as word. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a relationship of fear towards this word. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place this word on a podium as something more than me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the shadow of this first day, as broken resolution, and so within that to live as disempowerment.

 

 

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal