Day 431: Redefining the word Live (4)

…continuing from previous post

I do not have to feel this way: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I feel this way or that way, then it must be me, must be who I am, rather than seeing, realizing and understanding that these feelings that I entertain are simply programs that I have accepted and allowed, that it remains my choice to participate or not. Therefore, rather than going into disempowerment in the belief that this is who I am, and that I cannot in this moment not be this that I have defined as me, I choose instead to let this feeling, this emotion go, and I choose to understand this programming that I have written into me, and to release the specific points that have made it what it is, I choose to forgive myself first of all that I have compromised my own reality through this belief, and I commit myself to learn about this self that I have neglected through my adherence to it.

Understanding Consciousness means also understanding that Consciousness is not Life: all those programs, memories, systems of energies that we as beings substantiate are not living systems in themselves, while our bodies that support our consciousness are in fact real living aware organic systems. And yet it is through our consciousness that we define the world, through our words, and it is through our definitions of ourselves within our words that we decree the limits of what we are. When it comes to the words Life and Live, what then?

On a Journey to Life then Consciousness might well freak out and ask, Where the Hell are we going? Or else, I ‘know’ where we’re going, I’ll show you the way… that dubious experience of knowing, of being sincere and reasonable I opened up a bit in the previous post… and likewise in the posts before with my beliefs in the reality of Joy as I had defined it… but in redefining words, the practical process of this involves finding, uncovering, and looking into the definitions that we have been living out, existing as, and changing them. How can there be actual knowing in a system that has no inkling of the physical reality? So I continue here, and in support of me, I reaffirm my grounding.

For example as well as in SOUL, I found also in the Reptilian series in Eqafe, a group of interviews going into these points that I am writing out: in The Nature of Words, here is Anu, back in 2013, laying out the groundwork of Redefining and Living words:

“…. When it comes to the mind, consciousness, words do not exist as simply, or only being letters – that you see on paper for example. Like when you write the word Me: here is one of the most complex words as well, for the mind, or consciousness, in terms of what defines ‘Me’. But you know if you write the word Me for yourself, and you have a look at it, you in physical reality would only see the letters, M and E, spelling Me. But in the mind consciousness the word is existent like in a 3 Dimensional structure, and in that structure you have it full with all sorts of… even a lot more different words, emotional and feeling energies, memories, images, pictures – there’s even like conversations looping, that would loop in the word itself, as everything that you had accumulated within and throughout your life that defines this word that is Me….”

 

… the same with all the words, these multi-dimensional containers, and the nature of their contents. So as I continue into Redefining the word Live, that is part of the word Me, as I have defined it, and so who I perceive myself to be, as ‘living’, I go further into this: what have I accepted and allowed within myself as the content of this word Live? What have I become Content with, in Live, and hence in Life?

 

 

 

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Day 430: Redefining the word Live (3)

Not being real with me, how can I say “I Live”?

The word sincerity came up for me to look at in the context of sometimes not knowing exactly what I mean in an expression and then not giving me time or space in the moment to look further into what I’d said, to interrupt and get it more precise, more specific, or then when the other person’s understanding of the words that I had used is out of line with what I meant, and so also, their response, I do not direct the situation, I do not give myself the time or space to communicate what it is, who I am essentially in this expression.

I have become complacent about being misinterpreted or misunderstood, and I find all kinds of reasons why that is ok and does not really matter, and I believe those reasons that come up, the reasons seem so reasonable and I can go to who I am as ‘reasonable’, ‘sincerely reasonable’, lol, finding even value in the other person’s misinterpretation, being supportive of their enthusiasm of what they see within their understanding, and even encouraging them in their perspective of dimensions that I hadn’t seen.

So it’s complacency within not standing in the moment for me, but instead just letting it slide and letting the moment go within which is a statement like it doesn’t matter, it’s not important what I meant exactly, I am not going to interrupt the flow to put this right, and backchat stemming out of my reaction, ‘people react so quickly’ to these misplaced words. In that reaction I see them grabbing onto something and running away with it, and I do not see the grounds of blame gathering within me.

And so within that I overlook my responsibility for my words in the blur of this complacency, and within that I have accepted and allowed a disempowerment. And so within that complacency, in who I am in letting that moment go, I am not sincere with expressing who I am, and not sincere with other beings whom I allow then to take the words I’ve said for real, to ride with a misinterpretation of the words I’ve used, so that then the conversation sort of wanders into arbitrary points, specially when I meet another being who does similar things to me. That insincerity toward myself and toward others is a lack of love, it is a point in me where I allow myself to not be real with me.

Not being real with me, how can I say “I Live”?

 

 

 

Here are some Self Forgiveness statements in connection to these points:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in who I am as an idea in my mind of Sincerity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this word as a cover for me to hide expressions of my lack of love for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express this lack of love as an impatience toward myself in my relationship to who I am in a given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose my grounding in the moment of my expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not knowing clearly and precisely who I am as I express myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this expectation of myself, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project this expectation onto others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear of seeing the reality of me in my expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond to me with “I don’t matter”, and for not seeing within this how I am denial of the living me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project onto others my lack of love for me in perceiving impatience in their expectations of me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to this impatience that I perceive in others by trying to hurry it up and be quick in my responses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my perception of the expectations of others to be an influence and limitation on my expression of who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent about how I have become towards myself within and as this limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being slow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see realise and understand how I have defined Live and Living within and as this positioning in my mind where what I have accepted and allowed as Live and Living begins and ends in my self interest as relationships of fear and projection and self deception in which I have accepted and allowed a starting point of not being real with me.

 

 

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Day 429: Redefining the word Live (2)

Day 429: Redefining the word Live (2)

“If we have a look at our lives – we were just born – we suddenly find ourselves in this life…”

Experiencing life most of the time as just going on, with ourselves in the middle of it, getting on with it – this relationship to Life – here within it – exists a definition of the word Life, one in which we are displaced, kind of living out. How to change this definition, and so to change this passive experience of Life, and so to change our lives? In the Life Review, Question Everything, the question comes up: How to Own this life that I am living?

What would ownership entail? The word came up in a different context yesterday, talking with Joe: he remarked, “You really Own that shed.” And looking into this, I saw, Yes it’s true, I have expanded into this space, redefined it in a way for me, as a Workshop, though physically it is unchanged and still fulfills the needs of a shed, the ownership is in my constant usage of this space for making things. Is this usage of the word Own of any use to me in owning this Life that I am living? Have I considered what it is that I am using this life for, seeing as I’m in it, could I use it better? Could I redefine it so that it works better for me, could I make better use of the tools that it provides? Well, no, I have not considered this, but looking at it now, I see an obvious difference, such in relationship to something that I have only just recognized to be a tool, so rather than just seeing it there upon a shelf I reach out and grasp it feel the handle, feel the weight, and see a new potential for creation.

And so, continuing in this post with redefining the word Live, To Live, I am looking in to what exists within my relationship to this word Life, being not outside of it, but in the middle of it, very close to it, very, very close to it, like pausing in a very relaxed slow gradual way and questioning what it’s like to have this skin – almost without touching it with words – what does skin feel like, from the inside, from that intimate space of me inside it, where I Live.

Here is where beginning in, I may cautiously extend the exploration out, into this question what is it that I live as this word Life, where for a moment it is not a massive question, but only very intimate, very, very intimate beyond a place I’ve ventured so far with the words. And then outside, upon the fabric of my skin, I feel the movement of my clothes; I feel a beam of sunshine glancing on my leg, and the context of this word Life and Living here on Earth lights up again within my mind, with time-lines, memories, explanations, mysteries connected to the paths that led to here, connected to the beings that I have met, the paths that I have crossed, and me somehow located in the middle of it all and at the same time at the leading edge of it, with and as my presence here.

And in town, so many lives I see, people in their lives: every day I see people in their lives. That is something new for me, in this definition process, getting a feel of me – within and as my life – and from there, imagine other people also, in their lives: in the city of their lives, in the country of their lives, in a trail behind them, all around them, for example, all around a face, a look, a man beside a door in a supermarket foyer looking forward at the world, what expression in those eyes, what meetings, shadows, expectations, needs, with those at home, the neighborhood, those far off days.

And there as well, seeing this, passing by, me, exiting the supermarket, within my life, with that word life: in that moment not separate, not seeing it from afar, or in theory, like a scientist, trying to equate this experience of myself with this thing called ‘Life’. Even just to call it that was to put it on a wall, projected on a screen, a notice board of things that happened. And yet coming round a corner in myself I felt this intimate dimension of that thing called life, that I was living, that did not need a calling, that was only simply what it was to me, within it, odd to question what it was, being within and am it here already. That there existed some formation out there of it beyond my personal experience had been only a belief, a formality, an extension or an outplay of the word Define, as I had heard it in my science lessons, with all its implements laid out ready on the table.

In this Life Review, Question Everything, a being recalls moments of stopping within the question of: “Why am I here, What am I doing with all of this, what am I doing with the life that is in me, and this life that is here before me that is given?”

“Do I really own my life, meaning: have I taken ownership for it? Have I taken responsibility for it? Or with everything that is here before me: Am I just going with the flow, am I just kind of going with it, because it’s here, because it’s what happened to me, and I happened upon it? And within that happening, you know, I am who I am and I go with again how I find myself to be, every day… “

 

 

 

 

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Day 428: Redefining the word Live (1)

” … even with saying the word Live – even here – as a being speaking through the Portal and aligning it with Humanity and all of this existence – it still sounds empty, hollow, the word has not yet been fulfilled – in an individual capacity and also in a global capacity… What we have accepted as the word Live, how we have lied down in acceptance, how deep does that acceptance go in our consciousness in ourselves – that we now live in almost a depressed state every single day… …The dimensional point that we would like you to take with you – not only redefining Live – Give it substance and meaning and worth and reality and truth. In fact it’s coming from the initial problem of us denying the More within ourselves, the aspect of Force and Life – God, if you will – within ourselves. What is that More within ourselves – that’s been there – and yet you haven’t lived?”

From Redefining Truth and Lies (Crucifixion of Jesus Part 120)

Here begins the Beginning – for me – of Redefining the word Live. I am meaning here by Live, also the group of words, as in To Live, the verb that emerges directly from the word Life, along with Living, Lively, and Live, as in immediate transmission, ‘real-time’… The redefinition of this word is present in some way or another everywhere throughout Destonian writings, throughout the Eqafe recordings, enjoining us to introspect self honestly what meanings we have accepted and allowed, and so discover through such means, how it is that we have defined ourselves, and shaped and limited ourselves accordingly, and so empower ourselves to change.

For me right now, considering the words Life and Live, and the actual possibility of me participating in Life, as Life, as the verb of Life, in and as Life, I am immediately aware of limitations – imagining a world in which I can whole heartedly say – I Live – seems as a world I cannot reach – beyond the barrier of who I am, as a world beyond the limits that I exist within. And so immediately I am aware of how much less than Life and Living Life I currently accept myself to be, and have resigned myself to be, and with that realization I experience that compromise of comfort zones – that depression – and the buffering of immediate transmissions, those sparks of me, and that fear of letting go of who I am in which I have become content with just ok, alright and safe in my normality.

Pulling off the blankets to peak into what I have defined to be a nightmare is a matter of Courage – within my personal world, as well as in the wider world in which now it seems a Death Cult reigns invisible and supreme. Fear of doom in redefining Life, and Living Life is like a programming that has penetrated deeply into me. And yet unconsciousness does not have to reign supreme: the question to Self – of How to Live – already undermines that darkness because it is pointing at my own authority in me to redefine what I have defined and limited myself within, and so already a spark exists for me within that question, How to live?

                                                               *

Mordor! Says Leila, Mount Doom! Me and Leila and LJ are looking down at an ant hill in the paddock; after the rain the mountain has spread and enlarged, with cracks appearing in its slopes. Not an ant in sight, though there are probably thousands of them underneath. LJ tells me that at this time of year the snakes are looking for a place to nest or hibernate, so sometimes in the crest of an ant hill one finds a hole where a snake had gone down in and taken over.

                                                                *

Mount Doom! These words come up in a feeling of doom in making new beginnings; in the Living and Making New Beginnings interview, Mount Doom comes up as a reference to the epic journey of the ring of power – My-Precious – that has to be cast into the fiery abyss to save the world from the forces of darkness of Mordor…

… bringing it back to me, and not to wander too much into what the words are getting up to currently, how they circulate and emerge in different places in different dimensions and different expressions of different people, as if there were a kind of undercurrent of topicality – I get into quagmires trying to understand it –

…but a point for me to look at that in this interview was directly pointed out to me – was in relation to a question that came up in me in how I had defined the word Live where coming up in me were memories in which expressions of – what I had interpreted in my mind to be – Joy – were to me like memories of sparks of Life – and memories of these expressions thwarted, or rejected – in my perception – where I had responded to reactions with hurt or harm – and so become more isolated, protecting those expressions in myself as if they were precious, fragile parts of me …

So in answer to the question how does all of this connect to Live and New Beginnings is ”… a pivotal point for you to consider: that if you had these expressions inside of you, and you in any way feel like it can be changed or altered by another person, it means you haven’t yet completely really become it as yourself. Now there’s a problem, in that, you cannot really become an expression through and through as yourself, if you do not allow yourself to live it in the world out there. So in other words if an expression, such as joy, is just an experience inside you, is something that you feel you have to contain and keep only unto yourself, then it already implies separation… because it’s like you want to take that part of yourself, and box it inside, and keep it like a treasure, almost exactly like in Lord of the Rings – like that ring, like that Precious – and eventually it can consume you in what was actually really going on behind it… that you have to question… what were you really protecting… were you protecting that joy, or were there other let’s say social anxieties, judgements, reactions toward general people out there, or an honest preference to actually just wanting to be alone…?”

So here, in beginning to redefine the words live and life, is a point for me to look into, which is putting expressions of me out into the world, and through that becoming those expressions as myself for real, rather than keeping them protected as those hidden treasures of experience inside, that only have potential.

*

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret an experience of potential in me – a spark of life – as life itself – and for me to believe in my interpretation as something real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that real expression of myself is something that can be broken or destroyed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label positive energy experience in my mind as Joy. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to look more deeply into this energy that I have labeled Joy to see what else might exist beneath my own interpretation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the positive energy experience that I have labeled Joy as something good, as something sacred in my inner world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to elevate myself in my own perceptions by being the protector of this inner experience that I have labeled as me as Joyful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how Joy may be defined and lived by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that Joy may be defined in many different ways to an experience in myself that I have labelled Joy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people that they do not share my joy – seeing them then as joyless – and therefore as inferior in some way to me, as the protector of true joy, and therefore – separated in my mind – to life and living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I understand myself, that my understanding of myself is real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this belief in understanding me as a point of comparison to other people. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to enforce my understanding onto others, when it itself is also a spark of my potential that I have not lived.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see the spark that exists within the word Begin, to acknowledge what exists within this simple word. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to value the potential that exists within Begin, that though I have a history both of years and of lives, that in a moment I can choose to live the word Begin apropos of nothing, except that now I start. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect to the word Begin, the past, and histories of giving up on me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience these connections as a shadow over me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience these shadows as an experience of future doom.

continuing…

 

 

 

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Day 427: Word-scape and Place

I went to sleep, and then woke up, and now is now. I checked out front, to look at it again: the gravel terrace now in darkness and steady rain, and across the gravel chips, an urn that I had moved, now standing upright. Earlier, while it was evening, I had made a small adjustment to a tilted plant urn, on the terrace edge, significantly to me, that teetered on a crest of rockery. Before the rain and dark set in, I had removed four bricks from behind the shed, and in a barrow, wheeled them to the terrace, and then with a trowel I scraped the gravel back and placed two bricks firmly on the ground, to form the first layer of a stable plinth, for the urn; a small adjustment. It would be distracting to photograph such things; like the before and after shots, because the simple words involved are more the point. For sure you can take a picture of the words involved, and yet they kind of seem submerged and lost in the pictorial (picto-real) experience.

In the previous post, the word Place had kind of come into my awareness, a candidate for redefinition, or at least, expansion, exploration, like a detail of the word-scape, as an article within and as itself, and as an element of a wider integration process going on. Bringing stability to Place, who I am as Place, and words as Places, Place-names, yes words as place names of the places words enclose, the names of their locations. Landscape, Word-scape, sound-scape, mind-scape: scapes of different orders, all as one. Taking physical action within all of these dimensions is stabilizing in itself, and yet I realise how as well I am working with the words, moving through a word-scape, while at the same time taking action in the physical.

Seeing how a thing does not really have a place, or how I might make a place for it to be, in consideration of the situation: these considerations and actions do not come from nowhere – I walked through redefining processes of other words, such as the word Abandoned. When the word Ship-wrecked came up in me as my de-scription in response to seeing a trough – this time – of plants, I recognized my programming and my personal relationship to making/giving of a place for me, in a way, to support me in my dis-location, and so reflections of me within this trough of plants, so I could then apply solutions for the situation in the physical by giving a place for the plant to be, while at the same time start exploring what may be in the word Place for me. In the cases of these plants what was reflected back to me was that in making or giving a place involved in relation to where they stood, bringing in stability and making a foundation.

When I was in my teens and playing with poetry, and formulas of words, and Haiku, I liked to add to letters, accents, little curlicues, or double dots here and there or graves, acutes: they were decorations in a way, but as well with serious intent, it seemed to me that ordinary words could then become exotic, I was attempting to dissolve the fixtures of the ordinary by using words, trying to loosen up the programming. The little accents seemed to me to open up the words to different dimensions, to allow their sounds to have different new harmonics, referring them to imaginary languages and exotic meaning. In ordinariness, a word can be like a train going on a track, and seeing it for a moment placed differently can feel like the train is suddenly swerving off the lines and going elsewhere, though it has not left the tracks, it has passed through a set of points that have been changed. In redefining words there are experiences similar to that swerve, finding different parts, dimensions to oneself, different possibilities of being, new awarenesses of the choices that we have of who we are within and as the words that we’ve been living.

 

 

 

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Day 426: Rhythm and Place

The photograph: context: between an electric pylon and some motorway I was following a track, one of many tracks around a tree nursery. Gian was buying saplings for his forest. We already had on board three Leopard trees, (the kind of trees that leopards like to bask in) and an African Mahogany, (a sturdy eight foot pole in a plastic sack, topped with a cluster of leaves,) and couple of other trees who’s names I did not hear, and all of these were laid down flat and very uncomfortable in the bakkie while we had a look around this place, a larger nursery, in which I realized amongst the paths and tracks that I was surrounded by hundreds of unknown, or unnamed trees.

Back to the photograph: But what is that? Lying in my path upon some gravel I came upon this object. What is a word for something that there are no words for? For me my first reaction was that I was in fact looking directly at a word, an Earth word, like a simplified expression of the Earth, or a sound of Earth made manifest, like a cluster of rhythms. And to make a record of this event I took the camera out and got the photograph.

There must be many ways of slowing down on Earth. Something I noticed was how I sought for rhythms, sort of walking into step with them, plying with them: by the waters of the ocean, or by studying a living landscape or a soundscape, such as listening to the interplaying waves of sound from frogs and crickets, like a chorus in the night, or visual rhythms, such as in shapes and forms of beings and relationships between things.

The other day I found a physical book, unearthed it from the shed, a story from a hundred years ago or so, from a time in which the trains had not yet reached the provinces, not that the content of the story greatly mattered, because focused on the writing, I realised that I had found a rhythm in the words and sentences together that supported me in slowing down, where yes in the turning of the paper page, the nature of the substance of the book upon my fingers, all in the slowness of the story, it was as if the writing was actually a place, a place that I was comfortable to be, rather than being in passage or a means towards a point. And so within that place, the turning of the page was part of it, as if I were in a peaceful house, venturing from one room to another, in no hurry to go elsewhere. And also with the book itself, resting now upon the surface of the table, here now in the quieted light of my attention, I rest my hands and I look around me, and quietly move into another moment.

This word Place came up for me in a different context recently: I was in the workshop making a series of timber struts for some shelving units which involved many of the same repeating actions – and after a couple of hours, the thought of ‘taking a break’ became more insistent, and getting to ‘half way through’ started to take shape in my mind as a point in which I could feel justified to stop for a while, and the word Monotonous came up also like the thin end of a wedge, and I started to become distracted, and not in the present with myself any more, and then I made a mistake, and cut right through a strut, because I had lost my concentration, and I had shifted into elsewhere in my mind. It wasn’t that I was tired, it was that I had entertained this word Monotonous, and from that a perception of a lack of entertainment, and from that an experience of boredom, and separation from myself. So anyway, I asked myself if I could just simply do two more, and then two more, and then two more, which I did till it was done. But the realization that I had was, yes, it was like a matter of patience, but more tangible than that, was that I had lost my place, I had been in a place at one with what I was doing, but had yet stepped out of it, and realizing that, it had been easier for me to recreate that place that I had been in just before.

more later…

 

 

 

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Day 425: Reflections

The word Reflection has been present for a while in recent days; something I discovered was how much I enjoy cleaning windows. Glass is such a wonderful substance: so hard like the rock its made of, and so translucent, like a sheet of water, and when the sun shines through, it brings a fresh new clarity to things. Jokingly I called this The Sparkle Principle, perhaps to dignify myself, because in truth I was faintly embarrassed to be cleaning windows all over the place, I mean I don’t usually do such things, perhaps occasionally, but not with such enjoyment, bordering on to fervor, and by now I’ve got round half the building, and there are other buildings to go. This house has got so many windows, and oddly enough, the sun shines into all of them, and now it’s quite a sparkly house, and the rooms seem larger, and it seems as if there is more space in them. Sparkle Principle aside, reflecting on the physical nature of the change, I realized that the difference was that a layer of dust actually diffuses the incoming light, so that removing this the light that comes into the room is direct light rather than diffuse. In support of this, Leila got a special window cleaning cloth that squeaks delightfully when the surface of the glass gets really, well, squeaky clean.

In the photograph, I sit with camera on the porch, looking in: here reflections of the outside and the inside merge, and here the word Reflection lights upon for me analogies of inner world and outer world combined. Here is for me like an image of a new day on the Earth, a day in which the inner world and outer world can be shown to meet without a conflict, without special measures, without diffuse interpretation, but easily, directly.

In Redefining Truth and Lies, reflections here for me also in these words being spoken:

“ …instead of shifting too much between these polarities of truth and lies… that make who you are about Truth and Lies… make it about seeing directly into a total mirror of: Who am I right now, right here? And in that, what am I going to chose to live? That starting-point is what we are busy creating – which is: What is best for me, and best for others? What world what moment, what creation do I want to create and live in, and experience in this moment…”

 

Support for All at Desteni

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
 
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

Day 424: The Web of Lies

Day 424: quite a physical time and distance between this day of my journey and the last – in which time I have moved to the Desteni Farm in South Africa.

Being now here on the farm also means that I am able to sit in on the recordings of the Portal, the source of all the Eqafe interviews, the source of all the information and perspectives of the physical dimensional beings who are as one supporting all of us who are in the predicament of a life on Earth, supporting us in learning how to support ourselves in changing the programming that we have accepted in place of what is real.

Here are some reflections on the recent Crucifixion of Jesus interview: A Web of Lies Spun on Polished Threads of Truth: about which the association of the word Web, and the word Lies, evokes almost inevitably this saying:

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave
when first we practice to deceive!” – Or not?

Originally a quote from a poem, this phrase has rooted into our language and our minds as proverbial, or as a ‘saying’, a ready-made thought construction, word design, that slips by easily, and sounds so true, has become unquestionable, and so in that sense, part of our unconscious, part of our acceptance of the truth of things.

And yet if you look at how the spider really in fact structures or weaves its matrix of web, it is not tangled at all, it is quite precise and geometrical. Through time and repetition these words have become amalgamated and polished into a saying, a proverb, an experience of truth, but in the reality of the spider’s web, the tangling comes when the fly attempts to extricate itself.

Same with the geometry of our self-deceptions; the structure of the webs we weave is quite precise. If we were weaving tangled webs, then how would we function? Like in writing random programs for ourselves to live: they would not work, they would quickly fall apart. The persistence of our programming and our difficulties to extricate ourselves, attests to this order, to this integration. The stories that we tell ourselves about what happened form a tight geometry; we justify ourselves, support our presentations, we write the story, we pull the threads together, give it finish, make it seem so real, make ourselves look better in the eyes of others, and for ourselves, and sweep those bad things under. And as we practice our stories, so we play the part, believe in it, and so become it.

“ How many moments are remembered as facts, as opposed to, how many moments are remembered as a web of lies, as the words that you lived as yourself at the time? Like – taking an event – that had happened in relationship to someone, but in that moment you were embodying or living the word Grudge, or Resentment, or Anger, or Resistance and Fear. So because of the words you lived in that moment, you were shifted from reality, from fact; what you were seeing, experiencing, how you interpreted the moment can’t be trusted, but yet that’s what you believe to be real, and will till today, polish that moment with your righteousness, your ego, your need to prove yourself in some way, or not wanting to be proved to be wrong, or be seen as bad, or some insecurity to be brought to light in some way or another…. So this is how, essentially, we’ve approached our very own history, our very own past, with webs of lies, polished, that sound plausible, acceptable, or right, that we then just continue living with…“ (Extract from Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 119)

The question asked within this extract goes some way towards redefining the saying about the tangled web: turning it into a question for all of us to ask and answer for ourselves. Questions for ourselves to answer – for ourselves – are the beginnings of a standing up within our own awareness – and the beginnings of our access to our own reality, where instead of thrashing around and becoming more entangled, such as how we live our words, we can instead calmly focus on the physical realities recorded in our memories, and let go of those embodiments of personality that so distort our own perception and perspective of ourselves. Bringing understanding to the workings of consciousness systems has been ongoing with the beings that have been – for more than ten years now – speaking through the Portal: it is through this understanding that we can now be calmly deconstructing our own webs of self deception.

 

Support for All at Desteni

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
 
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life