August 2015 – Adam's Journey Into Life

Day 277: Human Identity Crisis Alert

Human, including me, Identity, including me, Crisis, including me, Alert, including me.

Identity – as who I am within myself, within this physical body – where in the question of ‘who am I then, really?’ already contains within this word ‘who’ a reference to ‘what name?’ or, Who else, what other name, am I? Like, as in, if this is not me, then who am I? The question of who, as such, is not really helpful here, it only leads to names and tags. Names are useful when it comes to the question as with an amnesiac, the name can help others to place you in the system, trace your history, find out where you live, like your finger prints if they have been recorded tagged onto your name, your DNA also – but all of these are externalities – the circumstance and functional record of your physical existence in the system. And the question of who am I within myself, within this physical body has not even been addressed, let alone answered. Answers of this superficial kind are tangential; obviously – in social introductions this is normal, as in, who are you, what is your name, what do you do? While who am I within and as my name, within and as this moment, within and as my self – in self honesty – in the eventuality of this specific meeting – is so often like a question that I forgot to ask myself.

Who am I in relation to: this thought, this person, this word, this feeling, this experience, this perception, this information, this situation, this…whatever… this world, this existence… where obviously I do already have – that is, have already made a relationship, have already made decisions of who I am towards these things – though often I have not been aware of it, but have instead gone on instead to continue as it… this question of who am I towards this – is certainly one of the most important questions in my life – it marks the wakening of awareness. It marks the awakening of realisations of self-responsibility.

This ‘I AM’ is like an expression of our actuality, it is something we apply, it speaks of our nature to inform things. I suppose in some way this contributes to describing us.

Being at home in me, at home in my being, then there comes a moment when I look upon these memories of the moments when I forgot to ask myself, like in that meeting, or when that thought came up, when I said that thing, put those words out there, those moments when I forgot to include myself in being here. Run them back in slow motion as it were, and then see the various applications of this ‘I AM’, that I have used towards the energy, the other human being, towards projections, towards imaginations that have been informed by consciousness, in which the I AM has become so integrated, normalized, that the absence of awareness in it was not noticed. These personalities, or simulations of self are like the various settings of autopilot that we place as ready-made constructions of ourselves, containing detailed ‘who I ams’ to things and to myself – that are as ‘settled questions’ – where during the evolution this life I have stepped back from the brink of Life itself and substituted script and automation.

Okay, so ‘Who Am I to this?’ As a wake up call.

#HumanIdentityCrisis

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 276: Coherence and Incoherence

In group discussions, in communications, in the blogs, connections and synchronicities that keep on coming up; to points being raised, words, perspectives, questions, a timeliness of comments, inputs, sharings, sort of ongoing synchronicities.

Often, like many others, I find that a specific word or point has been coming up a couple of times, and then appears in retrospect like a foreshadowing of someone’s written realizations or of the event of someone speaking the words, of putting them out into space and time. Looking at these sentences and seeing that what I am describing is some of the various dimensions of ‘sharing’ I see how I have accepted and allowed some drastic limitations with how I have defined and lived this ‘sharing’ and I see in this how with both ‘timeliness’ and ‘synchronicity’, I have defined them as and so experienced them as positive occurrences, of momentary coherence – like the experience of a glimpse through a crack, at an aspect of solution, when in reality I dare not see the wall.

And I have found that simply looking on the incoherence without reaction most difficult; there is an experience like having many pieces of the puzzle, but somehow not being able to bring them as it were, onto the same page, or anywhere near each other; and I realise how much the energizing of these things with prolonged attention tends to exacerbate the reaction, and then through scrutinizing this too long that I have slipped into a kind of possession, in which rather than simply looking on the incoherence I have become overwhelmed with the experience of it. Seeing realizing and understanding this last point is very supportive, like finding at last the sea bed with my feet when I have been way out of depth.

Looking at the solution of ‘coherence’ (and being at one with) there is the expansion of being here, into ‘us together being here’, and conversely in incoherence there is like the shattering of this into separation. Seeing this has supported me to reach the grounding of connectedness and oneness between coherence and sharing.

‘Cognitive dissonance’ describes a situation where a personal world-construct smashes on the shores of world reality. As an emotional experience, it is like a white noise that comes to dominate the mind. It is like a shapeless emergency, a state in which it is impossible to formulate a question. Slipping into this experience has been by dint of accepting and allowing the backchat dictates of: there is nothing I can do, it is all useless, I cannot understand, I do not get it, and through participation in this I have accepted and allowed a pattern in which I give up in fear of the experience of incoherence, and failure to experience connection. Seeing that I developed this pattern in the crucial years of my school education I have reacted like Oh My God this is what that was when I drifted through my teenaged years kind of stunned and distracted, and not learning, and Oh My God, this is how I shaped my life. This is where I have made the mistake of making decisions within and as reaction as to the furtherance of self investigation, where looking at this period of incoherence, I have gone into the experience of: there is nothing I can do, it is all useless, I cannot understand, I do not get it, and, to put the cherry on the cake, it is too late. (!)

I have not published most of this very long day’s Journey to Life, though I have written much, note-books filled with disconnected paragraphs or single sentences, all of which having in common that I went into the above reactions to my words, to who I am within and as them, where there has been the point of the white noise shutter crashing down and I have lost connection to that tract of words, where I have judged myself and applied the backchat of it all being useless. Or else I have judged the disconnectedness. And I have not noticed in this process how the point that is here for me to look at again and again has been this point of my reaction to my words, my reaction to my voice, my reaction to the reality of who I am that is or might be exposed to me and to others in my expression.

In my mind, exactly as in my childhood and school days, I have had the thought, ‘I might be able to work this out on my own’, and yet this very thought has become as a possession, and a point of stubbornness. Reactions to the word, within the word, to the event of speaking the sound of who I am and to experiencing the reality of myself through the filter of self judgments in this real world, and the fear of my response to me in sound and word all accumulated within me in the resolution that I once made that ‘I must therefore walk this life in silence’, seems to once again have enveloped me. Treading softly with and as the simulation of a quiet mind I have only found more depth of quietness and separation.

Thanks! I have had very much support in stabilizing myself through all of this, from the beings walking with me in Desteni, from the beings walking with me in my life unknowingly in this same process too, from the dimensional beings who communicate through the Portal, also through my dreams, such as a dream some nights ago, in which finding that I was somewhere new, at home with myself and with my friends, I found my voice.