Day 242: Resistance

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation  •  Desteni.org  • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights    Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

 

 

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Day 242: Resistance

 

There will never come a time when it feels just right to face a resistance – such as in the illusion of delay and postponement, and hope, conjuring up in my mind a scene in the future when all of the conditions are met when I can just simply face this thing, whatever it actually really is, or was, or might be.

 

It is as if within my fear experience I have cloaked an established truth and verity of my own self judgements. How can I fool myself within such self contradictions – in which it is not obvious at all. The image of being good and ready to face resistance is just another form of imagining it magically to not be there. It’s as if as well that resistance has become a noun in separation, it’s not that resistance doesn’t exist, but it doesn’t exist in that way, that way of seeing is through the filter systems of my fear imaginations – I have become so accustomed to the word, seeing it there in front of me, that it is like I have fashioned it into a small object that I keep as a reminder, almost like a decoration on the walls of my mind world, or as a wallpaper, repeating over and over again, wherever I look.

 

‘Feeling just right to face resistance’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this relationship of myself, depending on the feelings to be a certain way, so as to ‘face’ who I am within and as resistance, and within that, fear. I commit myself now to change this relationship; such as making this condition for my introspection to be according to this ‘feeling’ index. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘introspection’ as a thinking process within the mind only, without a reference to the earth as in the physical inception of the words into the writing.

 

Therefore I commit myself to learn the ways of introspection directly through the physical. I commit myself to flag these moments when I am looking in my mind for reference to feeling, because I realise that this ‘rightness’ of a feeling is an evaluation of a judgement that I am making in my mind, with me as a god within my mind pronouncing what is true, what is right, what is terrible, what is evil, what must be hidden away and relegated to suppression – so that through my same assumptions of judgement, I have also decreed the rightness and the verity of that about myself that I have cloaked.

 

So I commit myself to clear my mind in written introspection, or to learn so how to do this, by reminding myself when I have suddenly gone ahead of myself into the mind, and left behind the writing, so to then stop and breathe and come back to it and to myself.  And I commit myself to stop the ‘introspection’ that continues to circulate when I have stopped the writing process. To not, take-off as it were to ‘have’ a think.

 

Being in fear of what I may find when I open up, means that what I have found in opening up is that I am as fear, protecting myself from something about me, which is my responsibility here to take a look at – some relationship that I have made to me, a definition of myself at the core of how I live, an image of myself within this in a relationship to something completely unacceptable to me within my judgements of ‘how to be’ within this world, those things I must keep secret.

 

And therefore this image is an image of the view of me through the eyes of the world, that I made up to believe to be the truth of who I am. This looks like, according to my judgment of truth, I believe that I am ‘knowing’ in my mind ‘how you see me’, how you all in general ‘see me’, then I can use this information as a starting point of manipulation, I can approximate an appearance of your expectations, I can simulate a ‘likeness’ in some way, in short, a method of coping in the world, without a reference to who I really am within and as myself, except that of me that exists within this image. It is like the main-frame of the shape shifting personality structure, the core of a machine to scan, estimate, and simulate self definitions according to projections onto others. Is this the image that I am actively protecting, this database of information as my projection from imagination of what it actually means: ‘through the eyes of the world’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know what another human being is thinking, or that I know or even have an inkling who they are within and as themselves in the context of their own existence in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give such a value of ‘vital’ to the images of my own mind projections contained within an image of who I am in the eyes of others, this value being so great that I fear to expose it – in which I accept a manipulation through the fear that I use to justify the cloaking of it, the protection of it – because – the shape shifter has been a vital means of survival in the physical. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the exposure of this aspect of who I am within and as a personality of the shape shifter.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be exposed within who I have accepted and allowed myself to be, that has given rise to the activation of a shape shifting personality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be here with myself in breath, but rather to have gone into distraction, activated in that moment a personality construct as a stand in for me, and which in the situation of being in front of my responsibilty to me within writing, I instead become distracted by my reactions to the exposure of it, in which I have energized and emphasized the point within ‘the eyes of the world’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ‘the eyes of the world’ in a simulation of the mind, tacitly within my mind, accepting this image as the truth, and then from this platform, to look upon myself through those eyes, and thence to go into fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I may see when I am looking through these eyes. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have these eyes exist within me, to have created them piece by piece, all the information database with tags of the relationship to me aligned within them. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become only a relationship towards an imaginary projected existence, within and as all of these relationships of comparison with others, in which I have made and limited myself to and as more than or less than everything. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find ways of existing without an awareness of myself within it, and without a real awareness of the physical reality. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now that I am aware of myself within this process to still be vulnerable to the processes of self manipulation where the end result is a giving in or a giving up on me.

 

I commit myself to patience as an ongoing activity here, rather than a waiting on something to happen. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make an image of myself as too slow, or not fast enough, rather than to see that all I can be is constant in writing what is here.

 

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EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

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Day:241 Backchat: Believe in Yourself

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation  •  Desteni.org  • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights    Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

rorshach centrepoint

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Day:241 Backchat: Believe in Yourself

 

The situation just recently was where I had slipped into a self judgement, not good enough, not strong enough to move myself, blaming parts of myself for being the way they are – but in reality, the way I have them be – so rather than simply investigating my consent in this, I had gone into reaction.

I was refusing to see the responsibility of ‘the way I have them be’, because, remember the commands: human nature cannot change, this is it, I am just the way I am, because of the way I am, drone drone… when up comes this backchat, You’ve got to – Believe in Yourself – Carrying a positive charge of hope, it seemed to promise some solution – like yes correct response – that’s the solution, I ought to believe in myself. Now I can just magically pick myself up and walk into the paths of life…

So I looked at where in my life I had first heard this phrase – this was kind of brotherly advice – an older school friend – sitting with me in a coffee shop while we have both bunked off from school – we are smoking cigarettes, Guards. His tone while saying these words is sympathetic, he is showing concern for who I am within myself – I have expressed a disappointment in myself, the uselessness I feel, how low I am – and it is like he is passing me some vital information about self-faith and the under-workings of existence, trying to buck me up.

So that was how the words went in, I wanted them, I imprinted them inside me. I notice now looking at the turmoil that was inside of me in those days, how much a sympathetic tone, a voice of serious concern, like someone asking, But how are you, in yourself, really? – could easily have sent me into breakdown. That in fact did happen once a few years earlier. But with the sympathetic tone of my friend I was very receptive and absorbent of his words. On an emotional level I felt unable to question what he said, I felt unable to reject what seemed to be a rescue from my self damnation.

I mean, why would I believe in myself? It doesn’t make any sense, I mean why would that child that is me way back down this time-line, believe these words – that what I’ve got to do is to believe in myself? I can see looking at it now, that the external religious culture of ‘virtue in belief’ may have also played a part.

Looking at my starting point in this conversation, or at least as far as I can recall, the gist of it, I get a sense of the magical reality in which I lived – a world in which people just ‘happened’ – to have skills or talents like magic, a special something that they did not need to put an effort into to learn. While in me in self pity, blame going towards God that there was some kind of mockery going on here, that haha I was not good at anything. But here presented to me was some kind of bridging the gap solution where not knowing what I am good at naturally, what my talent is, ‘that everybody has one’, I could meanwhile, believe in myself, or pretend to believe in myself, or perhaps eventually believe in my pretence to believe in myself. And in fact this was one of my skills, I realise now, that I had already practiced it for the purpose of making convincing lies and deception, not realizing to what extent applied inwardly it made for fluid systems of self deception and self manipulation, but sort of wading into the depths of this I had gone past a certain point where ‘believing in myself’ did not seem mad, or even extraordinary; that shows me the extent of confusion and uncertainty about my reality at that time. 

Where else I’ve heard this phrase – like in how many movies – sort of passionate encouragement, like in some romance in which for example: Dr. Zhivago, ha ha, is writing passionate poetry in a large room, and scrumpling the same poem up, and throwing it away, over and over, and none of it is good enough! And the waste paper basket is overflowing and he cannot publish his work because it will always be a failure, being less than the dazzling beauty of his love, who he keeps in the other room, but she believes in him! She comes crawling through the door, and up to his desk, and begs him on her knees to believe heart on heart that she believes in him! And therefore he is obliged to believe that she believes in him, and therefore he must believe in himself! And of course, if he can’t believe in himself, then again he can pretend to believe in himself, and live in hope that he can eventually believe in his pretense to believe in himself!

Oh dear that expression came out looking like a joke, but in seriousness, these convolutions of self manipulation of hope of belief in pretence of belief were actually present within my strategies, and so not surprising that they would manifest within this imaginary scene – I may have fused one movie with another here – but the theme is common – where – You’ve Got to Believe in Yourself – As – In the movie domain, written in the screenplay and absorbed into imagination is in the context of grandness, grand themes, orchestra, noble ambitions, the need to be, something, to be a ‘poet’, to be a ‘writer’, to ‘win’, to be an image of that something, to strive towards some definition structure… and an appearance of ‘something’ in the eyes of others.

So these were the circumstances in which this backchat statement became accepted and allowed as a part of me. Where now in the present, the backchat comes up, and it is aligned with the present circumstance, where it is only me, in the back of my own café, as it were, bunking off my writing me responsibility, and in self judgement and self blame, and shifted into the not good enough self judgements.

What would be the effect of committing myself to this backchat – that would be an activation of me substantiating a personality of what I believe I should be in my mind, an active refusal to face investigate and find out who I am in actual reality – literally a make-believe being, a movie personality. And effectively it would mean a giving in and giving up for the sake of a comfort zone of entertainment within the mind.

 

Self forgiveness on this line of backchat.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in these points of comparison of me to others, or of me to images of what I should be in my mind, as in these judgements of myself as not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure because I have not come up to the standards that I have imposed on who I am in my imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize my reactions to myself in ‘being not good enough’ so as to manipulate myself into self pity and blame of my predicament where I can evince some form of experience of righteousness as a victim, and not have to look at the point that I am in fact the responsibility within and as all parts of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as stuck within my responsibility in this process to investigate and to see myself as I am in all my parts, and to write it out in physical reality. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this stuckness as a point of blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be diverted into energy experience, and to justify myself within accepted and allowed beliefs of: human nature cannot change, this is it, I am just the way I am, because of the way I am, as stepping stones towards a self manipulation in which I can believe that I am stuck because of my nature that I make-believe cannot be changed, and therefore I am not responsible, but instead can verify my victimhood, and access righteousness within a comfort zone of self pity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look upon myself as something limited – as a measurement of ‘enoughness’ and ‘goodness’ – as who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed within this to be defining myself according to comparisons with others in my world.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within an imagination of competition in my world, in which I cast myself as a loser. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe a ‘loser’ is who I am, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise and understand my responsibility within all of this, that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to all the relationships to me that I myself have made, so that rather than to look upon these things, empowered in my responsibility to look upon and understand and change, and move myself within and with the process, I have instead reacted into as energy, based on fear. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequence of my realization and acceptance and living of responsibility, because I have made that represent in my mind a massive effort to move myself step by step within the physical. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a judgement of the effort it would take to move myself, and within that to be seeking justifications for giving up. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise and understand that I do not know how much effort, or what that effort would really feel like I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look ahead in my imagination and see all the steps that I must make – and then be overwhelmed – within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself with judgements so as to maintain the fear of the consequence of realization of responsibility that therefore within that, I must move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I lack a quality that would make me ‘special’ within somehow miraculously having a ‘gift’ or talent, I forgive myself within this that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in a world in which skills just manifest automatically, a world in which there is no effort and learning process, an alternative reality of the mind, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and then define and then experience myself as worthless, in polarity with specialness, that has not been miraculously endowed. I forgive myself that within this starting point of who I am as worthless, that I have created imaginary personalities of specialness that exist only in my imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to into feelings of hope in connection to the ‘possibility’ of believing in myself, rather than being with myself here as who I am, learning step by step into a stronger trust of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as ‘unacceptable’ and then react to that, when I can in fact examine all the relationships I have made and access what is actually in fact really unacceptable to me as parts of me within them, and so change them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a judgement in which I accepted and allowed myself to superiorize myself into an experience as the arbiter of truth, this is true, I’ve got to believe in myself. Then I can position myself wherever I like within my mind, instead of staying with myself in breath and stability and looking at the harsh experience of myself engendered by my own self judgements, and seeing who I am in these relationships, and deciding for me in support of me, to not do this, to not go into this pattern of self sabotage in which eventually I give up on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give a charge of positive energy to the idea of placing myself anywhere I ‘like’ within and as an imaginary projection of myself within my mind, and hence a negative charge to the reality of my experience of myself as I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give to this line of backchat a positive charge of energy within defining it as a rescue from my self damnation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give this line of backchat a positive charge of energy as a secret piece of knowledge and information about ‘how to exist’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give to this line of backchat a positive charge of energy as a virtue in the world of faith as belief is virtuous – a positive charge as an act of ‘spirituality’ as positive.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to question what this line of backchat actually means, and what it actually means within and as a part of me.

Within all of this, I commit myself to investigate the actual nature of the effort it will take to move myself, to test it for myself, to see and realise for myself how much the effort is really my resistance. When and as this backchat reappears within my mind, I will stop myself and breathe, I remind myself that access to the mind through this is unacceptable to me, so I change all this, I do not accept this relationship of me in reaction to myself, I recommit myself to my responsibility to me and as me in this investigation of the systems of my mind.

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Day 240: War and Peace

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation  •  Desteni.org  • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights    Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

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War and Peace

There’s a really good method that is available to everyone when it comes to resolving conflict – it is called ‘communication’, this is when people use words to express what is happening to them, and then they listen to one another, and they try their best to understand what it must be like to be, so to speak, standing in the shoes of each other. So when things break down between people, and communication is not working then a reasonable step to take would be to look at what aspects of communication are not functioning very well, because communication has simple components – speaking words, listening, and imagination of what is being conveyed.

In speaking words, are there enough words available? Is there some kind of a shortage here, because we know that when we run out of words, it is frustrating, and in our frustration the next resort is to try and use our bodies to physically express with mannerisms and gestures and noises. It is like we want to go into blame of our physical predicament and stamp our feet, or slam the door, or do anything to try and make our point, or to emphasize how important this point is to us, this point we find so difficult to express, or to put across, or be understood.

In listening, are we actually listening to the words of the other person, and not putting words into their mouths to suit ourselves, or instead of simply hearing, we are listening to the voices in our minds, or our interpretations of their intentions? And in our imaginations, how and what for are we using our imagination – to assist and support ourselves in understanding what is being said, what is the position of the other, what the actual problem is, or are we using it to distort the reality of what is going on, to assist and to support and feed our own personal experience of righteousness?

Where the need of the experience of righteousness supersedes the need for a solution, then communication as a means of resolution is given up. Instead there is assertion and competitions to over-ride each other’s shouting, there is no space at all, no listening, no hearing, but a battle of strength and loudness to eventually get the last word, and then there is an eagerness to slam the door, to break the phone, to damage the face.

How common sense is lost, and conflict escalates from reason and discussion and platforms of respect into emotion and eventually into mind possession – this how – is surely a matter of education – because even children at school can be shown how to stand in each other’s shoes, to imagine what it must be like to be in the position of the other, how to stand and breathe, and come back down from emotional possession. And this point of education also – that we can be introduced into this reality with an extensive and practical vocabulary, that we can express ourselves, that we can articulate our thought, that through exchange of words, we can easily return to the platform of what we share as life.

Imagining up a god of righteousness, it follows that our personal experience of righteousness is essentially a spiritual act, and that our god being absolute, then our righteousness is absolute – then there is no compromise – we have chosen a promontory to walk that leads to conflict, and imagination has invaded and occupied and over-ruled our physical lives.

When Jesus spoke of the ‘peace that passeth understanding’, this peace was not defined as an opposite to war, not as a polarity, it was the peace of common sense of people coexisting in and as the physical reality living the realization of our equality as life, as custodians of all life on Earth as what is best for all.

 

See: The Jesus Message is not a religious message

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR