It was like a turning point in my life when I was forced to consider who I am in relation to responsibility. I mean when I first came across the Desteni Material in all its many forms, the point of self-responsibility, those two words together, sort of dawned into my awareness, representing like a vital key to my whole experience of being here in this world, like a stable bridge from a reality projection of myself as a spectator, to the world of a participant, towards being deliberately responsible in becoming a living awareness. And yet seeing, realizing and understanding this to be the case, the word ‘responsibility’ remained in some way polluted in my mind with a negative charge: it seemed in some way like a burden or as a bitter pill, or else like the hot seat, or even, the dock, containing like the validation of my criminality. Something that I had not considered within all this was the nature of the cultural soil from which I had sprouted, the framework of reality presented by the media, by the education systems, by the testaments and scriptures, by the consciousness systems of my parents and the generations that went before: that I grew up in the midst of this, absorbing the examples of it all, examples of a culture coming out of a starting point of blame, that when things went wrong there was always the reaction of a pointed finger, a being to be targeted, diminished, or punished. Validating that ‘it was not my fault’ I learned to use the resources of my imagination to play the game, concoct excuses, and deflect the blame elsewhere. It was as if I had willingly inherited a structure for me to live within that was specially designed to deny and suppress responsibility. Who I am as the bad one in the blame target as the one responsible is how literally responsibility gets a bad name. I forgive myself, seeing how I am responsible, and within and as that responsibility for the programs I have subscribed to, and written and elaborated in my mind, that then I can choose to change these things that trigger how I live and how I experience myself, that is in forgiveness giving back to me I live responsibility and chose here to deliberately change my self conditioning that I have accepted and allowed as real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate blame, by accepting and allowing that who I am is bad as the target of blame. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this mind value of ‘bad’ as something real, that I have connected it into who I am as a living reality. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the word responsibility to exist within me as an energetic entity, as a trigger of reaction. Therefore I continue to walk this process of releasing myself from the spells of words that I have accepted and allowed as components of my mind, and with the word responsibility I continue to clear the word, as new layers within it become apparent to me, or are shown to me.
It is not only for me in the sense of this singularity, but for me in the wider sense – of everyone as me – that is also swept up in this exact same consciousness: to deliberately walk out of it – and share how this can be done – and through this spread the realization that in common sense it must be done; our self directed walk into awareness, in which seeing how all exist within the same Mind Consciousness, then all steps shared expand as ripples outward. For those who can now allow themselves to investigate the practicalities of this walk out of consciousness and into living awareness and what this means, and for those who are actively doing this, and need support: Come to Desteni.
Reference: Missing Moments
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