Day 333: Diligence in Breath!
I made the decision to investigate the contents of the word Diligence in the sense of who and how I’ve been and so become within it and in relation to it, and in this sense the investigation has been like opening a door and walking through it, and discovering nothing that I expected, not just a few points here and there requiring checking and correction, but instead like this really massive room, with this huge machine installed in it, like an engine of some kind bolted to the floor, as the inner engineering of this word, that I had accepted and allowed within me with all these moving parts and strange components.
And there have been moments where I wanted to just turn around and check the door and see what word was actually written on it, entertaining an idea that it might have been the wrong door or something. And in moments like that there is also this familiar experience of me, as standing on the brink of things and not going further, and within that experience, an acceptance of myself as that.
And so with the word Diligence, and allowing me to authorize the structure of this investigation, I go into a new process of gathering up the information that I already have in the realization that yes there is much more, but going further into more is in a way a distraction of trying to make the investigation perfect, and looking at a future in my mind of having all and everything at my disposal, which is one of the patterns that I have come across in writing this; and also there is that I realise now that in walking through these points since 316, that Diligence has become for me quite changed, clearer, lighter, simpler, and that the factors or components that I’ve looked at in myself has already released me to some extent from the accumulated reluctance that was there before unseen by me in the form of energies and conflicts within the subsidiary words of Diligence.
Like for example: Gian proposed for me a diligence in breath: and my reception of this new meeting of two words had a natural lightness and simplicity, through which I could kind of see an inkling of what this redefinition of this word could be and become for me.
What does it mean, this Redefinition and living of words? Self Creation : SOUL
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