Day 433: Redefining the word Live (6)

•April 8, 2018 • Leave a Comment

…continuing from previous post:

The Value of Life is Life! And yet if I have defined Life according to the perceived limitation of Death, then Value itself is harnessed and compromised, and limited the same. Increments of something infinite are also infinite, therefore the value of a single moment of Life – is immeasurable – but shifted into minutes and seconds and degrees, it is an increment of limitation shadowed by Death.

If my heart sinks at the prospect of the underlying meanings of Defeat, and the depths of programming that established its existence, then to where might it expand in the realization of the unlimited nature of Value itself, this word that came into existence without condition, without constraints. What sort of difference to my existence could I make for me if I were to purify this word for me, to really take it in to me, to own this word, to thoroughly become this word, to have it in the starting point of me?

So, something new for me, in the process of redefining Live, an experiment: isolating the element of Value in my imagination, and checking in with me throughout the day from time to time the effects of having Value present. Isolate: because the word has always been for me attached to other elements, never just as is. Something that I have found so far is it is very energetic, in the sense of wanting to jump up and do things. Looking at this, I realise how much I have in my complacence of acceptance and allowance also accepted and allowed preprogrammed Value, pre-attached to things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shift into experiences through feelings, and thence into decisions of doing things and not doing things, where I believe that therefore I must feel a certain way because programs in my mind dictate if Value is attached or not.

 

 

Here are some references to current Eqafe recordings that have supported me in these points:

Death Defeatism and Life

What Dimensional Beings see of the Physical

Money Energy and Your Creative Force

 

Support for All at Desteni

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
 
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

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Day 432: Redefining the word Live (5)

•April 3, 2018 • Leave a Comment

When in January this year the word Defeat came up in various series of the Eqafe recordings: What went down in me? – The word itself in my mind seemed to throw ahead a daunting shadow, and with a sinking feeling in me – I recognized that signature of something I’d accepted long ago as part of me, it carried with it a solemnity, like news of death, of something irreversible – and I did not want to listen to the interviews.

Instead I went with the imaginary fears that told me I did not want to hear the details of the autopsy, the reports of the post mortem, I did not want to hear reminders of this thing that I’d accepted, and defined into my existence long ago, and so by implication it was also like: “Let me overlook this fact of part of me I’ve lost. “ Or else, “It’s too late now to summon up the energy to undo this thing I’ve lived so long…” Where in both these statements I wearily reiterate expressions of who I am within and as Defeat.

So an interesting insight here for me, that in redefining Live I find the Courage to look into these feelings that came up in me in connection with Defeat, from the perspective that this word too I had defined into and as a part of Live, and through that became determined to live it out. In redefining Live I am more focused on the nature of the spark, whereas in a perspective of Defeat, the downer was that Life had gone.

Checking out the etymology of the word Defeat, a bare and simple horror opened up, partly that a word exists for this, and partly where the meanings of the word originate: with who I am in Life, as undone, not do, not is.

Defeat was in that point I was looking into a couple of Journey Days back when in a moment that I did not take myself for real, but took instead my own reality as dispensable in some way or another, and so going into that familiar complacency of me – as an expression of a lesser self – here is an example of a momentary little giving-up that in a life of repetitions accumulates into and becomes established as acceptance of Defeat.

Going into that moment I can see I face the choice of standing up for me or not, and in that habitual not, letting it slide into the streamlining of all the well oiled justifications – that was all together my belief in me as my sincerity – in being reasonable, considerate of others, though not of me – together as – that lesser self of me – but looking at the moment of the timeline where the choice was there – I realise now that I did not see it as a choice at all but as a reminder of an unwelcome fact, a fatal snag about the fact of being me, that place in me that I would always come to, and then quickly find excuses not to stay, to not look into closely.

Talking with someone who had also faced such moments, they told me this: that they had found a sort of irritation with themselves that grew and grew and had become a great support for them. That was where my ears pricked up: that in all of this there might be a solution for me, the possibility of being irritated with myself, like I could Do with some of that!

Some Self Forgiveness statements with reference to these points:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed Defeat as written into who I am in Life, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live Defeat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to look at how I live, have lived, the word Defeat, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to look at how I have accepted and allowed Defeat. I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to recognize that acceptance of Defeat within my life is an expression of how I have defined my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become resigned towards my limitations, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn a blind eye to my responsibility within my acceptance and allowance of this resignation, till the point where I just perceive the feelings of the disempowerment, interpreting it in my mind as just part of who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ‘just part of who I am’ as an excuse inside myself so that I do not have to push myself to expand myself and open up my own potentiality, and take the risk of change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within and as a corrupted form of Care, in which I have embodied a personality of Care that takes all beings around me in my life into consideration with the exception of the reality of the self of me; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within this that my Care was real, and within and as that reality, that who I saw myself as being was also real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed as this caring character to be quietly getting away with constant self neglect and self ignorance, and self abuse, as a way of smoothing out relationships in my outside world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a way of life in which I allow myself to get away with my own bullshit, underneath the guise of this bullshit Care. I forgive myself that I have accepted who I am as an expression of this bullshit. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed living in this way for me to then be allowing and accepting a level of this ‘getting away with it’ in others around me in my life, being tolerant as a personality, finding reasons excuses and justifications for them all as an extension of this faked up Care. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see realise and understand how within this I am responsible for spinning and maintaining the structures of the Matrix.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed for my definition of Care to include covering up for other people in my life, overlooking bullshit when I see it, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear of a future event in my imagination in which being direct with other people will cause reactions back on me in which I too am challenged in my bullshit. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being direct with people in my life. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to express actual Care in being direct. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed around me of one and all together swiftly moving on.

I commit myself to challenge these fears that I have accepted and allowed in me in all these matters, where I have accepted these configurations of Defeat as part of Live and Life.

I commit myself to foster if I can this hint of irritation at myself on the ground of my reality amongst the play of different characters and personalities, because I see and realise and understand that this letting myself get away, to nowhere, with it has formed a somnambulating way of being, where I have not learned to put my foot down with myself and take the risk of causing friction with these personalities.

I commit myself to learn from these bare bones of the etymology of the word Defeat, that I can utilize them with my redefinition of Live, with taking the opportunity presented by the physical existence, with instead of Self as Defeat, as undone, not do, not is, to change me to Self as Feat, as Fact, as Deed, as Made, as Do, as Done, as Is.

 

 

Here are some Eqafe references and support to the opening up and walking of the word Defeat:

Kryon: The Acceptance of Self Defeat

              Defeat is me Versus Life is Me

  Atlanteans: Self and the Nature of Defeat 

                        From Defeat to Independence

                         Defeat: Your Voice of Sounding Strength

                         Sounding Self Forgiveness For Defeat

                         Defeat: Making the Self Forgiveness Real

Quantum Systemization:

                          The Design of Defeat

                           Defeat: Practical Support

 

Support for All at Desteni

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
 
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

Day 431: Redefining the word Live (4)

•March 31, 2018 • Leave a Comment

…continuing from previous post

I do not have to feel this way: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I feel this way or that way, then it must be me, must be who I am, rather than seeing, realizing and understanding that these feelings that I entertain are simply programs that I have accepted and allowed, that it remains my choice to participate or not. Therefore, rather than going into disempowerment in the belief that this is who I am, and that I cannot in this moment not be this that I have defined as me, I choose instead to let this feeling, this emotion go, and I choose to understand this programming that I have written into me, and to release the specific points that have made it what it is, I choose to forgive myself first of all that I have compromised my own reality through this belief, and I commit myself to learn about this self that I have neglected through my adherence to it.

Understanding Consciousness means also understanding that Consciousness is not Life: all those programs, memories, systems of energies that we as beings substantiate are not living systems in themselves, while our bodies that support our consciousness are in fact real living aware organic systems. And yet it is through our consciousness that we define the world, through our words, and it is through our definitions of ourselves within our words that we decree the limits of what we are. When it comes to the words Life and Live, what then?

On a Journey to Life then Consciousness might well freak out and ask, Where the Hell are we going? Or else, I ‘know’ where we’re going, I’ll show you the way… that dubious experience of knowing, of being sincere and reasonable I opened up a bit in the previous post… and likewise in the posts before with my beliefs in the reality of Joy as I had defined it… but in redefining words, the practical process of this involves finding, uncovering, and looking into the definitions that we have been living out, existing as, and changing them. How can there be actual knowing in a system that has no inkling of the physical reality? So I continue here, and in support of me, I reaffirm my grounding.

For example as well as in SOUL, I found also in the Reptilian series in Eqafe, a group of interviews going into these points that I am writing out: in The Nature of Words, here is Anu, back in 2013, laying out the groundwork of Redefining and Living words:

“…. When it comes to the mind, consciousness, words do not exist as simply, or only being letters – that you see on paper for example. Like when you write the word Me: here is one of the most complex words as well, for the mind, or consciousness, in terms of what defines ‘Me’. But you know if you write the word Me for yourself, and you have a look at it, you in physical reality would only see the letters, M and E, spelling Me. But in the mind consciousness the word is existent like in a 3 Dimensional structure, and in that structure you have it full with all sorts of… even a lot more different words, emotional and feeling energies, memories, images, pictures – there’s even like conversations looping, that would loop in the word itself, as everything that you had accumulated within and throughout your life that defines this word that is Me….”

 

… the same with all the words, these multi-dimensional containers, and the nature of their contents. So as I continue into Redefining the word Live, that is part of the word Me, as I have defined it, and so who I perceive myself to be, as ‘living’, I go further into this: what have I accepted and allowed within myself as the content of this word Live? What have I become Content with, in Live, and hence in Life?

 

 

 

Support for All at Desteni

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
 
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

Day 430: Redefining the word Live (3)

•March 29, 2018 • Leave a Comment

Not being real with me, how can I say “I Live”?

The word sincerity came up for me to look at in the context of sometimes not knowing exactly what I mean in an expression and then not giving me time or space in the moment to look further into what I’d said, to interrupt and get it more precise, more specific, or then when the other person’s understanding of the words that I had used is out of line with what I meant, and so also, their response, I do not direct the situation, I do not give myself the time or space to communicate what it is, who I am essentially in this expression.

I have become complacent about being misinterpreted or misunderstood, and I find all kinds of reasons why that is ok and does not really matter, and I believe those reasons that come up, the reasons seem so reasonable and I can go to who I am as ‘reasonable’, ‘sincerely reasonable’, lol, finding even value in the other person’s misinterpretation, being supportive of their enthusiasm of what they see within their understanding, and even encouraging them in their perspective of dimensions that I hadn’t seen.

So it’s complacency within not standing in the moment for me, but instead just letting it slide and letting the moment go within which is a statement like it doesn’t matter, it’s not important what I meant exactly, I am not going to interrupt the flow to put this right, and backchat stemming out of my reaction, ‘people react so quickly’ to these misplaced words. In that reaction I see them grabbing onto something and running away with it, and I do not see the grounds of blame gathering within me.

And so within that I overlook my responsibility for my words in the blur of this complacency, and within that I have accepted and allowed a disempowerment. And so within that complacency, in who I am in letting that moment go, I am not sincere with expressing who I am, and not sincere with other beings whom I allow then to take the words I’ve said for real, to ride with a misinterpretation of the words I’ve used, so that then the conversation sort of wanders into arbitrary points, specially when I meet another being who does similar things to me. That insincerity toward myself and toward others is a lack of love, it is a point in me where I allow myself to not be real with me.

Not being real with me, how can I say “I Live”?

 

 

 

Here are some Self Forgiveness statements in connection to these points:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in who I am as an idea in my mind of Sincerity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this word as a cover for me to hide expressions of my lack of love for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express this lack of love as an impatience toward myself in my relationship to who I am in a given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose my grounding in the moment of my expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not knowing clearly and precisely who I am as I express myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this expectation of myself, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project this expectation onto others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear of seeing the reality of me in my expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond to me with “I don’t matter”, and for not seeing within this how I am denial of the living me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project onto others my lack of love for me in perceiving impatience in their expectations of me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to this impatience that I perceive in others by trying to hurry it up and be quick in my responses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my perception of the expectations of others to be an influence and limitation on my expression of who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent about how I have become towards myself within and as this limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being slow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see realise and understand how I have defined Live and Living within and as this positioning in my mind where what I have accepted and allowed as Live and Living begins and ends in my self interest as relationships of fear and projection and self deception in which I have accepted and allowed a starting point of not being real with me.

 

 

Support for All at Desteni

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
 
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

Day 429: Redefining the word Live (2)

•March 26, 2018 • Leave a Comment

Day 429: Redefining the word Live (2)

“If we have a look at our lives – we were just born – we suddenly find ourselves in this life…”

Experiencing life most of the time as just going on, with ourselves in the middle of it, getting on with it – this relationship to Life – here within it – exists a definition of the word Life, one in which we are displaced, kind of living out. How to change this definition, and so to change this passive experience of Life, and so to change our lives? In the Life Review, Question Everything, the question comes up: How to Own this life that I am living?

What would ownership entail? The word came up in a different context yesterday, talking with Joe: he remarked, “You really Own that shed.” And looking into this, I saw, Yes it’s true, I have expanded into this space, redefined it in a way for me, as a Workshop, though physically it is unchanged and still fulfills the needs of a shed, the ownership is in my constant usage of this space for making things. Is this usage of the word Own of any use to me in owning this Life that I am living? Have I considered what it is that I am using this life for, seeing as I’m in it, could I use it better? Could I redefine it so that it works better for me, could I make better use of the tools that it provides? Well, no, I have not considered this, but looking at it now, I see an obvious difference, such in relationship to something that I have only just recognized to be a tool, so rather than just seeing it there upon a shelf I reach out and grasp it feel the handle, feel the weight, and see a new potential for creation.

And so, continuing in this post with redefining the word Live, To Live, I am looking in to what exists within my relationship to this word Life, being not outside of it, but in the middle of it, very close to it, very, very close to it, like pausing in a very relaxed slow gradual way and questioning what it’s like to have this skin – almost without touching it with words – what does skin feel like, from the inside, from that intimate space of me inside it, where I Live.

Here is where beginning in, I may cautiously extend the exploration out, into this question what is it that I live as this word Life, where for a moment it is not a massive question, but only very intimate, very, very intimate beyond a place I’ve ventured so far with the words. And then outside, upon the fabric of my skin, I feel the movement of my clothes; I feel a beam of sunshine glancing on my leg, and the context of this word Life and Living here on Earth lights up again within my mind, with time-lines, memories, explanations, mysteries connected to the paths that led to here, connected to the beings that I have met, the paths that I have crossed, and me somehow located in the middle of it all and at the same time at the leading edge of it, with and as my presence here.

And in town, so many lives I see, people in their lives: every day I see people in their lives. That is something new for me, in this definition process, getting a feel of me – within and as my life – and from there, imagine other people also, in their lives: in the city of their lives, in the country of their lives, in a trail behind them, all around them, for example, all around a face, a look, a man beside a door in a supermarket foyer looking forward at the world, what expression in those eyes, what meetings, shadows, expectations, needs, with those at home, the neighborhood, those far off days.

And there as well, seeing this, passing by, me, exiting the supermarket, within my life, with that word life: in that moment not separate, not seeing it from afar, or in theory, like a scientist, trying to equate this experience of myself with this thing called ‘Life’. Even just to call it that was to put it on a wall, projected on a screen, a notice board of things that happened. And yet coming round a corner in myself I felt this intimate dimension of that thing called life, that I was living, that did not need a calling, that was only simply what it was to me, within it, odd to question what it was, being within and am it here already. That there existed some formation out there of it beyond my personal experience had been only a belief, a formality, an extension or an outplay of the word Define, as I had heard it in my science lessons, with all its implements laid out ready on the table.

In this Life Review, Question Everything, a being recalls moments of stopping within the question of: “Why am I here, What am I doing with all of this, what am I doing with the life that is in me, and this life that is here before me that is given?”

“Do I really own my life, meaning: have I taken ownership for it? Have I taken responsibility for it? Or with everything that is here before me: Am I just going with the flow, am I just kind of going with it, because it’s here, because it’s what happened to me, and I happened upon it? And within that happening, you know, I am who I am and I go with again how I find myself to be, every day… “

 

 

 

 

Support for All at Desteni

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
 
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

Day 428: Redefining the word Live (1)

•March 19, 2018 • Leave a Comment

” … even with saying the word Live – even here – as a being speaking through the Portal and aligning it with Humanity and all of this existence – it still sounds empty, hollow, the word has not yet been fulfilled – in an individual capacity and also in a global capacity… What we have accepted as the word Live, how we have lied down in acceptance, how deep does that acceptance go in our consciousness in ourselves – that we now live in almost a depressed state every single day… …The dimensional point that we would like you to take with you – not only redefining Live – Give it substance and meaning and worth and reality and truth. In fact it’s coming from the initial problem of us denying the More within ourselves, the aspect of Force and Life – God, if you will – within ourselves. What is that More within ourselves – that’s been there – and yet you haven’t lived?”

From Redefining Truth and Lies (Crucifixion of Jesus Part 120)

Here begins the Beginning – for me – of Redefining the word Live. I am meaning here by Live, also the group of words, as in To Live, the verb that emerges directly from the word Life, along with Living, Lively, and Live, as in immediate transmission, ‘real-time’… The redefinition of this word is present in some way or another everywhere throughout Destonian writings, throughout the Eqafe recordings, enjoining us to introspect self honestly what meanings we have accepted and allowed, and so discover through such means, how it is that we have defined ourselves, and shaped and limited ourselves accordingly, and so empower ourselves to change.

For me right now, considering the words Life and Live, and the actual possibility of me participating in Life, as Life, as the verb of Life, in and as Life, I am immediately aware of limitations – imagining a world in which I can whole heartedly say – I Live – seems as a world I cannot reach – beyond the barrier of who I am, as a world beyond the limits that I exist within. And so immediately I am aware of how much less than Life and Living Life I currently accept myself to be, and have resigned myself to be, and with that realization I experience that compromise of comfort zones – that depression – and the buffering of immediate transmissions, those sparks of me, and that fear of letting go of who I am in which I have become content with just ok, alright and safe in my normality.

Pulling off the blankets to peak into what I have defined to be a nightmare is a matter of Courage – within my personal world, as well as in the wider world in which now it seems a Death Cult reigns invisible and supreme. Fear of doom in redefining Life, and Living Life is like a programming that has penetrated deeply into me. And yet unconsciousness does not have to reign supreme: the question to Self – of How to Live – already undermines that darkness because it is pointing at my own authority in me to redefine what I have defined and limited myself within, and so already a spark exists for me within that question, How to live?

                                                               *

Mordor! Says Leila, Mount Doom! Me and Leila and LJ are looking down at an ant hill in the paddock; after the rain the mountain has spread and enlarged, with cracks appearing in its slopes. Not an ant in sight, though there are probably thousands of them underneath. LJ tells me that at this time of year the snakes are looking for a place to nest or hibernate, so sometimes in the crest of an ant hill one finds a hole where a snake had gone down in and taken over.

                                                                *

Mount Doom! These words come up in a feeling of doom in making new beginnings; in the Living and Making New Beginnings interview, Mount Doom comes up as a reference to the epic journey of the ring of power – My-Precious – that has to be cast into the fiery abyss to save the world from the forces of darkness of Mordor…

… bringing it back to me, and not to wander too much into what the words are getting up to currently, how they circulate and emerge in different places in different dimensions and different expressions of different people, as if there were a kind of undercurrent of topicality – I get into quagmires trying to understand it –

…but a point for me to look at that in this interview was directly pointed out to me – was in relation to a question that came up in me in how I had defined the word Live where coming up in me were memories in which expressions of – what I had interpreted in my mind to be – Joy – were to me like memories of sparks of Life – and memories of these expressions thwarted, or rejected – in my perception – where I had responded to reactions with hurt or harm – and so become more isolated, protecting those expressions in myself as if they were precious, fragile parts of me …

So in answer to the question how does all of this connect to Live and New Beginnings is ”… a pivotal point for you to consider: that if you had these expressions inside of you, and you in any way feel like it can be changed or altered by another person, it means you haven’t yet completely really become it as yourself. Now there’s a problem, in that, you cannot really become an expression through and through as yourself, if you do not allow yourself to live it in the world out there. So in other words if an expression, such as joy, is just an experience inside you, is something that you feel you have to contain and keep only unto yourself, then it already implies separation… because it’s like you want to take that part of yourself, and box it inside, and keep it like a treasure, almost exactly like in Lord of the Rings – like that ring, like that Precious – and eventually it can consume you in what was actually really going on behind it… that you have to question… what were you really protecting… were you protecting that joy, or were there other let’s say social anxieties, judgements, reactions toward general people out there, or an honest preference to actually just wanting to be alone…?”

So here, in beginning to redefine the words live and life, is a point for me to look into, which is putting expressions of me out into the world, and through that becoming those expressions as myself for real, rather than keeping them protected as those hidden treasures of experience inside, that only have potential.

*

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret an experience of potential in me – a spark of life – as life itself – and for me to believe in my interpretation as something real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that real expression of myself is something that can be broken or destroyed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label positive energy experience in my mind as Joy. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to look more deeply into this energy that I have labeled Joy to see what else might exist beneath my own interpretation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the positive energy experience that I have labeled Joy as something good, as something sacred in my inner world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to elevate myself in my own perceptions by being the protector of this inner experience that I have labeled as me as Joyful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how Joy may be defined and lived by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that Joy may be defined in many different ways to an experience in myself that I have labelled Joy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people that they do not share my joy – seeing them then as joyless – and therefore as inferior in some way to me, as the protector of true joy, and therefore – separated in my mind – to life and living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I understand myself, that my understanding of myself is real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this belief in understanding me as a point of comparison to other people. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to enforce my understanding onto others, when it itself is also a spark of my potential that I have not lived.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see the spark that exists within the word Begin, to acknowledge what exists within this simple word. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to value the potential that exists within Begin, that though I have a history both of years and of lives, that in a moment I can choose to live the word Begin apropos of nothing, except that now I start. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect to the word Begin, the past, and histories of giving up on me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience these connections as a shadow over me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience these shadows as an experience of future doom.

continuing…

 

 

 

Support for All at Desteni

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

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Day 427: Word-scape and Place

•March 18, 2018 • Leave a Comment

I went to sleep, and then woke up, and now is now. I checked out front, to look at it again: the gravel terrace now in darkness and steady rain, and across the gravel chips, an urn that I had moved, now standing upright. Earlier, while it was evening, I had made a small adjustment to a tilted plant urn, on the terrace edge, significantly to me, that teetered on a crest of rockery. Before the rain and dark set in, I had removed four bricks from behind the shed, and in a barrow, wheeled them to the terrace, and then with a trowel I scraped the gravel back and placed two bricks firmly on the ground, to form the first layer of a stable plinth, for the urn; a small adjustment. It would be distracting to photograph such things; like the before and after shots, because the simple words involved are more the point. For sure you can take a picture of the words involved, and yet they kind of seem submerged and lost in the pictorial (picto-real) experience.

In the previous post, the word Place had kind of come into my awareness, a candidate for redefinition, or at least, expansion, exploration, like a detail of the word-scape, as an article within and as itself, and as an element of a wider integration process going on. Bringing stability to Place, who I am as Place, and words as Places, Place-names, yes words as place names of the places words enclose, the names of their locations. Landscape, Word-scape, sound-scape, mind-scape: scapes of different orders, all as one. Taking physical action within all of these dimensions is stabilizing in itself, and yet I realise how as well I am working with the words, moving through a word-scape, while at the same time taking action in the physical.

Seeing how a thing does not really have a place, or how I might make a place for it to be, in consideration of the situation: these considerations and actions do not come from nowhere – I walked through redefining processes of other words, such as the word Abandoned. When the word Ship-wrecked came up in me as my de-scription in response to seeing a trough – this time – of plants, I recognized my programming and my personal relationship to making/giving of a place for me, in a way, to support me in my dis-location, and so reflections of me within this trough of plants, so I could then apply solutions for the situation in the physical by giving a place for the plant to be, while at the same time start exploring what may be in the word Place for me. In the cases of these plants what was reflected back to me was that in making or giving a place involved in relation to where they stood, bringing in stability and making a foundation.

When I was in my teens and playing with poetry, and formulas of words, and Haiku, I liked to add to letters, accents, little curlicues, or double dots here and there or graves, acutes: they were decorations in a way, but as well with serious intent, it seemed to me that ordinary words could then become exotic, I was attempting to dissolve the fixtures of the ordinary by using words, trying to loosen up the programming. The little accents seemed to me to open up the words to different dimensions, to allow their sounds to have different new harmonics, referring them to imaginary languages and exotic meaning. In ordinariness, a word can be like a train going on a track, and seeing it for a moment placed differently can feel like the train is suddenly swerving off the lines and going elsewhere, though it has not left the tracks, it has passed through a set of points that have been changed. In redefining words there are experiences similar to that swerve, finding different parts, dimensions to oneself, different possibilities of being, new awarenesses of the choices that we have of who we are within and as the words that we’ve been living.

 

 

 

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Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
 
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life