Day 219: Fear of Commitment.
“I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, throughout my life, ever question or investigate why/how it is that in my ‘awareness’ / ‘conscious thinking processes’ – I have never really considered my relationship/responsibility to/as everything and everyone within this physical existence. “
Extract from Heaven’s Journey to Life: Fear of Commitment. This whole post is a great gift to everyone.
Interesting, and, concerning, how I as it were spotted telescopically this self forgiveness statement (quoted above) from a distance as my eyes homed in on the text, and a fear came up, a fear warning me to not look at it too carefully, closely. (Orange Alert: Mind Destruction Threat) This itself is an aspect of the fear of commitment that is the subject of this post. I am writing here about my reaction to these words, and how I slowed myself down to read them slowly and in breath. I have now read this post through a few times and sounded the words out loud. This self forgiveness statement is in fact a gift, and yet I was unable to see it so until I had debunked the threat which was the interpretation of my mind. Interpretation of my mind? This sentence contains a blame and hence more separation … well so instead of accepting this, I take responsibility for this, it is my interpretation as the consciousness that I have accepted and allowed as who I am within the structures of the mind, because in accepting who I am ‘as’ fear I remain as energy, and in energy production terms, to blame the mind is pretty cool because it keeps the mind alive with and as more energy, it upholds the whole illusion.
So, reading this – reading slowly and deliberately word by word and learning how to read again, really, not as I have read before where I have read the words as energy, moving in a hurry through the experiences dictated by my judgements, but slowing down to meet the words, as words in the simplicity of what they actually mean. Then there is time and space to read a sentence, there is time to see each word within a sentence, to notice reactions to the words that trigger the diversion into my experience of myself as energy rather than with what is actually here. So learning to actually read, within awareness of what are words, learning to put my judgement/experience system to one side, and to hear what is actually being said. And hence the realization of what is being given. What is the gift of realization within these words: the gift for me reading this post has been direct assistance and support in understanding my fear of self commitment, and it has thus by showing me this, given me the opportunity to walk this point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see realize and understand that in being shown how the mind is structured and how this who I am as consciousness works within this and so accordingly how practically I can change, that having proved to myself the reality of what it is that I’ve been shown, that change is my responsibility, that self forgiveness and self correction and self commitment as the tools of change are therefore also my responsibility – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise and understand the function of this fear of commitment of myself to change, is fear of loss of who I am according to the commitments that I have already throughout my history written into me and by which I have abided – so therefore I commit myself to walk my fear of changing the decisions I have made which have not been in support of me but for myself as energy, as consciousness within the structures of the mind, as commitments to the judgements I have made of me through which I have defined myself into and as the personalities that I have lived. Therefore in my walking of my fears of self commitment, I commit myself to see and realise and understand that I must face who I am as the consequence of the commitments that I have made in order to understand the components of these commitments, and so to change them for renewed commitments of myself in support of me in alignment with who I am in the context of equality and oneness here, rather than the context of an energy reality, a mind world. And so therefore as I self forgive myself and move from this to realignment of myself in self correction and self commitment, I commit myself to seek out and to state clearly to myself the out of line commitments that I have made to who I am as energy and as a system of the mind, so that commitment to myself within reality is in not in conflict with commitments to myself as energy, and therefore as a source of fear. I forgive myself that I have accepted as real this reaction of fear towards the changing of my commitment, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise and understand that in acceptance and allowance of this fear as real, that I stand as energy, as commitment to myself as energy, in protection and defence of commitments I have made and have suppressed within me. Therefore I see and realise and understand that to walk this fear of self commitment, to this self here rather than to a self that I have imagined and resorted to within my mind, that I must specify the commitments I have made that I have hidden locked and sealed within me, that I must look in breath upon the equations, the decisions the beliefs that I have amalgamated and suppressed, that I must walk out of this experience of myself as a confused reaction of energy and specify myself in understanding of who and how I am and how I came to be and to become, and from there to walk a self commitment that is laid in clarity.
Follow these online blogs:
Creation’s Journey to Life: Day 489: God and Ascension: The Seed of Deceit
7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.
The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.