Day 313: Troll

 

 

 

 

Day 313: Troll

 

The word Troll, coming through from ancient history and mythology, in which Trolls came to exist, and came to live beneath a bridge, existing as a menace to those who cross…

 

I find it fascinating the way that word histories contain such illustrative seeds of information, such as here, containing relationships to the bridge, and within that, towards a separation, and to the beings attempting to cross, to the land towards which that they are heading. The Troll is like a guard who pops up from under the bridge when he hears the footsteps on the bridge and tries to scare the travellers away, he is quite gruff and emotional, likely to fly into a rage. I mean, otherwise the traveller might just walk through and into the land.

 

Whether it is on a level of consciousness that manifests as YouTube, with the trolls who scuffle down amongst the comment threads, or in the systems of individual mind consciousness in which the inner personalities are struggling to have their day, seeking to emerge through backchats in the mind and somehow or another get some traction: that moment when one perceives a threat of some kind, and then takes it personally, then instigates protection and defense – the fact that our minds have protection mechanisms – means that when I am in and as reaction to a perceived threat or change, no matter if the word has come into my awareness or not, the word protect has certainly been referenced, because how else could Protection be initiated?

 

And that I have taken something personally, stepping into an emotional understanding of the situation, then I have reactivated this word protect as guarding the personality, guarding the world of the mind in which the backchat has this Trolling nature, and so what I have accepted and allowed to exist within the word Protect are in this context systems to support self limitation and giving up on self expansion, or self direction. I have accepted and allowed to exist within me this word as defined not for me in support of me or others and not consciously and deliberately by me, as I would have it to exist, instead I have accepted and allowed this word almost as a ready made component of my mind.

 

So who I am within and as and towards this word, I mean in all of the relationships with protect that I have accepted and allowed and then never really looked at, but have instead taken for granted, and like many other words in my experience of opening them, and de-scribing them, finding them in themselves to be as programmed systems, I find them also everywhere in my life and throughout my life, and I am seeing how they have taken part in my decisions and actions and so manifested in the physical world, and the question of what beneath the veil of ‘granted’ actually exists as a constellation of beliefs and design of energies within the word that I have lived as who I am: here is a blueprint of myself that I can show myself and in seeing specifically who I am within the equations on the blueprint, can therefore change the very components of ‘protect’ that I have accepted and allowed to exist within myself as ready-written, as I have accepted and allowed myself to be within it, within the very cause of this dynamic within my mind, in which I have accepted and allowed protection as a personality that is essentially attackative.

 

 

Reference:  Crucifixion series PROTECTION. Defining, Redefining, and living the word Protection.

 

 

NEW Self Creation Insights: SOUL 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

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Day 312: Fresh

 

A moment as I was walking through a doorway, my eye picked up a glance of a window, and as I continued to walk, that glance remained in my attention as a brand new memory. It was kind of abstract in design, a corner of light. And looking at it, I went over it in my mind what was going on, because I recognized within it that there had been a sort of reaching out towards maybe some specific kind of energy, as if it were like a nostalgic opportunity, so interpreting thus in a way I had gone into a judgement of the motives of the mind, and in so doing separated me from seeing that also there was within that, connecting to a feeling from my childhood, a part of who I am that exists within me as fresh and light immediacy with what is here. How to live this word fresh, as the immediacy of what is here, this word that I have lived in times when I was young, like for a moment access into a no-strings-attached perspective of the world. No strings, meaning: unconditional. So it was like a choice that I could go into with this corner of light: as a prospecting energy design in which were available to me hope and longing and regret, reminders of loss, or else a reaction to this in which, and this was what I did, I sort of recognized a signature of this design but then brushed it off, with a judgement, but also made a note of it. And this is the note that I am making here. That it would support me to live this fresh and immediate with what is here, just as I have done before, that I created in me – way back then – this potentiality that is still here for me and as a part of me, something I can now deliberately live.

 

NEW Self Creation Insights: SOUL 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 311: Forgiveness

Day 311: Forgiveness

 

Taking back to me the authority that I had rejected, within which I had trusted in the reality of my rejection of it, in my belief that my authority as awareness of my responsibility could be decided to exist or not exist within my mind: I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in such belief, that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my own access to myself in such a way.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand in faith of judgement as a position of power and control within my mind, as the arbiter of limitation in my world. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this beingness suppressed, that I have accepted and allowed for me instead of living, to have a scheme of life in which I am not a part of life itself, not here in this reality of life, but as a simulation of it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed for me to be and to be become a principle of acceptance and allowance within and as the very workings of my mind; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a comfort zone from this, and all around that comfort zone, that I have accepted and allowed as real, a world of fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within and as my very self forgiveness, go automatically into visions of ‘how I should be’ as projected in my mind, and into experience of myself in simulating that, and then within and as that experience, believing who I am within the simulation.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into this tendency to establish that belief, to validate it in my self forgiveness, not seeing how that still I am drawn towards it, not seeing how I have been satisfied with just a glimpse of me as a potential that exists inside me, that I have not yet lived, that is not yet actually real.

 

Seeing how I have done that, and do do that within my mind, living a life in which I have been satisfied with and excited by potentiality itself as an entertainment in my mind: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow hidden judgement systems to become integrated into my self forgiveness, and into the word Forgiveness, in which I have accepted and allowed the self forgiveness statement to be almost as a prayer in which how ‘I’d like to be’ is like an act of magic in a mind reality, rather than as a creative starting point of questions then of therefore, how to change this, how to practice this, how to build on this, how to make this practically so.

 

 

 

NEW Self Creation Insights: SOUL 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 310: Mistake of Life

 

 

Day 310: Mistake of Life

 

Previous post: the word Mistake. Retrospectively, some of the historical roots of my relationship towards and then in reaction to this word. How my behaviour might have changed in the vicinity of this word, fear, that it might or may suddenly pop up in my life. Really as a point of self honesty; that in fact I am seeing that I did do this, or not to that, and that within all of this there exists a mistake which was my relationship to self honesty, which in seeing something real, rather than simply receiving this information and taking it from there, instead I reacted to this me I saw, and went into and as self blame on the one hand, and formations of self righteousness and blame of others on the other.

Just like the parent/pattern that I had inherited, and accepted, and was looking through the frame of; I was looking at myself and being in judgement of myself, being subject to a power of definition that was not from me cross-referenced with me, as the starting point with me, but from everywhere else but me. That was really like a big mistake, that I had accepted and allowed this inversion of reality, that I was approaching existence itself believing that this being that is who I am is something finished, and the way it is, and within that perspective of it, without an inkling of the power of decision to change it, or to improve it, or expand it.

It was as if I had through subtle cultural osmosis accepted that who I am is ready-made, and then finding that I do not like it much, that all I had then was options to deny it, disguise it, embellish it, become superior to it, somehow get along in avoidance of what it is that exists in the heart of me, rather than seeing that I had accepted and allowed these patterns as a part of me, and that being so, therefore I can change these relationships that make these patterns how they are.

Realisation of such a fundamental mistake at the very outset of my life is like an Oh My God wtf have I done sort of a shock horror moment, when this word mistake is brought alongside these words: my whole life, when all the charged up contents of the word mistake spill forth, and then within and as such chemistry, I am at the edge of living as regret or else depression.

So clearing who I am within and as the word Mistake has been a process of bringing it back into the practicalities of learning, of being simply as an opportunity of learning, and with me, that in my life, that no longer I allow this word to be as a focal point for self incrimination, and fear, that I do not accept or allow any longer these distractions from who I am as real in seeing that yes, that is where I went wrong, did this or didn’t do that, that within all of that, I remain with me, in support of me as actually in fact living the word Learning that is attached and part of me.

 

 

NEW Self Creation Insights: SOUL 

 

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 309: The word: Mistake

 

Day 309: The word Mistake

 

It’s interesting to me that it’s happened a few times when I looked into the heart of a memory and into a specific timeframe moment within it, at the point within that moment, in which I made a significant decision, that what my eyes were focused on, were words, was some physical writing that was before me in the physical world, and persisted in the memory.

 

Same as in this example to come: and even though I see the words upon the paper, I can yet so far within my memory not access the words specifically. But the words together: they represented to me an expression of myself in imaginary skills and ingenuity, as part of a school exam, it had seemed to me this had been a question that was made for me, and I had dived into it, and written extensively.

 

It was a piece of work that I was proud of, and I had been glad to hand the paper in. Getting the paper back, a few days later, was not such a happy story, where instead of good marks or praise, I got instead what felt like a physical assault on my writing; a red diagonal line pressed deep across the page, where what had once been like a reflection of my treasure had been brutally dashed out, I imagined, in a stroke of irritation – as being irrelevant.

 

This example of mistake had been that I had also imagined the exam question, and not double checked what exactly had been asked; in that moment I had been distracted, been elsewhere. In the classroom I was constantly longing for the time to pass, my eyes would rove towards the windows, and a day that was meanwhile going on outside, that I was missing, out there.

 

So I had developed habits of momentarily slipping away, and I was now showing myself that this had got to such an extent that now I had completely messed up this exam. So I was quite alarmed about that, seeing that I had put my trust into an idea in my mind as a reference to what the question was, in reality, and as a consequence seeing and realising the magnitude of this mistake, writ large, in my mind as a reference to the experience that I was as and in, so that the word mistake contained all of this, together with wrong, and I took the teacher’s apparently terse graphic as a judgement on me, I took it as a definition of myself, that who I am through the frame of mistake, seeing that the teacher had no other comment, I interpreted that to be contempt, that is who I am as the self created experience of contemptible, within the domains of my design within and operating as the word Mistake.

 

Looking into it now, it seems astonishing how a miss take could gather up such emotional baggage, where in the simple processes of learning, the miss takes are such natural components. But back then, in this commissioning process in a way, of this, my accepted upgrade of the word mistake, with my experience of myself within it, was one of diminishment and shame.

 

And who I was in relation to the word mistake was to avoid it, to avoid experiences in which the word might arise within me. Structuring the word thus, I was unknowingly setting up a pattern for my future life, in which I was to shape my life by the decisions that I made in relation to learning, where within the learning process there would necessarily arise the word mistake.

 

But back then, or within this memory now, what was going on was that I had taken in judgement of contempt, derived from my interpretation of a single red line of ink, and I had gone into shame, and within that, in relation to shame, it was: keep quiet, keep it secret, from the boys behind my back before whom I had erected a front of understanding to protect me from their taunts.

 

My acceptance and allowance of this whole blame design gave to me the delusion that what I was experiencing was an inner truth about myself, like an unpleasant revelation, and I was upset inside myself with this collapse of good feeling about myself as part of this school experience into a shrinking self contempt, and again, the longing for the time to pass.

 

And walking through the door and down the corridor after the end of the lesson I was being mindful of this new development within me, something serious that I must now take into consideration, as if it were a new fact about this me I did not previously know or realise, but must now accommodate and in that shame I made the decision that I must now get away and be alone.

 

The process of self definition itself: I had given into the hands of others: getting away from proximity with the reactions of others was a priority. Getting away to a place in which I was not being defined, by mockery for example, in the face of which looking back now, I see I had separated from the strength to stand.

 

It was thus to me as if in this alien environment of School, I was like a water that could be poured into a vessel of any shape, and I needed to get away and protect myself from that, consolidate the latest information, see how I could possibly go on, touch base within myself in my relationship to the world, that was beyond the gates of the school, beyond the town, up to the very edge of the sea, where the breathing pulse of crushing waves and cries of birds became like a comfort to me.

 

This was the experience that my longing reached for within the constrictions of the classroom, when my eyes would flick from the clock to the window and then to the sky beyond it. My perch upon the cliffs was like my place upon a stadium to watch the natural powers at work within the world, where through Stadium I fashioned this observational relationship to the world, to the incident of life and to the living edge of darkness.

 

That I was actually creating my life through these words that I was living out, did not occur to me. How through making a miss take in miss reading an exam that I had then, in shame imprinted into the word Mistake my emotional reactions, that would then become from that time onward, until I changed it otherwise, a part of my living vocabulary, was an awareness that I did not have.

 

That my path through life that was to follow on from this would be shaped by my relationship to School and Learning and within that, to Mistakes, was a perspective that I did not have. Immediate developments within my life at school were that I would use my imagination and my ingenuity to fashion systems of truanting and cheating, so as to avoid the experience that I had put into the word mistake.

 

 

NEW Self Creation Insights: SOUL 

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal