Day 298: From Meaninglessness into Positively Lost
Continuation from the previous post…
Accepting and allowing a relationship towards meaninglessness as living out being ‘trapped’ within it, I believed in my mind that I should therefore make a survey of the situation, make plans for what to do with myself, how to go on from here, given this ‘reality’ that I dare not show myself was not real in fact, but something I invented. Seeing this illusion of ‘trappedness’ within this meaninglessness, as a reality, therefore as I saw it, my only way forward was into it; finding accommodation in it, comfort in it, positive conversion of the points within it that I had established in my negative experience, so that therefore I could live with myself as who I am as a positive feeling entity, that was growing out of meaninglessness. And the nature of the positivities was shaped by the words that I had invested into meaninglessness. So: as with ‘lost’, rather than looking more closely at this lostness, with its aura of fear, and seeing and realizing for myself that I had in fact ascribed this word to ‘who I am’ in the shock of realizing the harsh reality consequence of my daydreaming drift through school time, and in the experience of who I am as meaningless, in which I had effectively pulled the plug on having purpose in the world; instead, I elaborated ‘lost’ into a polarity, so that I could abide in positive feelings with this ‘lost’ as a resource.
Recognizing that much of me was invested in this assumption of meaninglessness, in which that I believed that I was ‘trapped’, then this point to me gained a mysterious significance, and my interest became inflamed into a fascination. Who I was towards this fascination that possessed me, was kind of suspicious of it, that it somehow contained some evil, and I was disempowered within the fascination, like being drawn helplessly in. I did not see how it was that I was looking at myself as the definitions that I had made of me within my judgements of myself as in being meaningless, as in having no meaning, no purpose, no significance, no framework of life to walk into, and it was who I was within the harshness of these judgements that I had suppressed within me that I now perceived as mysterious, perceiving in the world that there was in fact beneath it all, a secret.
Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.
EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.
The Quantum Mind
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Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal