Day 390: Calm and Mind Control

May 16, 2017 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

Day 390: Calm and Mind Control

Continuing here to walk the word Calm, while at the same time in the context also of listening to and walking with the current Quantum Mind Self Awareness series Who I Am as Control.

Mind Control, as Mind Structure: in redefining words, for example in how a signature of hierarchy becomes attached to, or else submerged into our living of a word, where even through the generations such corruptions have remained unquestioned and so become ingrained. A structure of belief subverts the purpose of the word and spreads into the language, and in so doing, shapes and limits our perception of ourselves and of reality, to the point where hidden blame and open blame becomes established as the base religion of our programmed world, a world of disempowerment, where all we see becomes externalized and surfaced, as the confines of our surface consciousness. A view of the Matrix as the world of words we live in separation.

Personally here, for me working with the words that I have lived, it is a process in which gradually I am seeing through walking words the emotional nature of the reality from which I evolved the words that I’ve been living, as components of my mind, as compliant with the structures in those words, structures that I have accepted and allowed to be there existing in me and as part of me, and so as part of what I resonate, as part of how I define myself within decision in a moment, and so a part of what I did or did not do, as actions and behaviours in the world.

As I look now into how I’d had exist within me a version of Calm as a relative state, defined by boundaries of emotional experience, or as suppression of the awareness of the conflict, where what I had eventually accepted and allowed was a form of blame towards the inner tempest, such as in this moment described before in which in this part of the cycle of procrastination, the point of accumulated neglect of what is here becomes the last minute ‘rushing gale’ of time, sort of at the End of Time, with a ‘fateful’ tone, another layer of blame onto the awareness of my responsibility within the very cause of this, and within and as the very system of this, that within that system for this Calm to exist, to function with this system, it became defined in being braced against any sort of hurry in that moment. Looking into this specific example of how I have used Calm it shows me how there exists in this no essential reference to Calm, no connection through myself and into the essence of Calm, but only calm in this example as my interpretation of a balance energy functioning within and as procrastination that I have accepted and allowed to become established in my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the word Calm to an experience that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach to Hurry and within that word Hurry, to who I am as fear of loss of time, fear of loss of me in time that is not my own. And so I release Calm from this structure that I have accepted and allowed.

Continuing next post…

Some references to Eqafe interviews in support of walking for Self a redefinition of process of the word Calm:

https://eqafe.com/p/panic-attacks-become-calm-become-comfort-atlanteans-part-298

https://eqafe.com/p/panic-attacks-embodying-words-atlanteans-part-297

https://eqafe.com/p/the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-43

SOUL – The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

Day 379: Care and Matter

April 15, 2017 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

I don’t Care and It doesn’t Matter: Here looking into the conflict that I have accepted and allowed to exist as who I am within the word Care, and in relation to Care.

Many instances of relationships to the word Care turn up in my explorations of how I have defined myself in various words, or in relationship with those words. Currently I am discovering how many times over I have defined myself in opposition to Care – many, well, millions of times – I have made decisions involving the use and abuse of the word Care, decisions in which my assumptions of the meaning of the word actually were instead looking closer, more like a familiar experience of a certain blend of emotions, that in my mind I labeled as ‘Care’.

Like many of the crucial words of my life, I utilized them from an emotional core of meaning in the very constructs that I accepted and allowed and then lived, and so through the perspectives of those constructs I was living as, I could not see this. So I have found my abuses of this word to play a part in many instances of decision Care to have a depth to it in coming from within my definitions of myself, as an enabler of personality designs, as a personality in itself, as a possession, as cathartic in decision making processes.

Examples of this have been in for example walking Diligence: what I found was that this component of Care that I had placed within the word Diligence that I had decided to live, and then allowed myself to fall down in, when came up in my backchat in a sabotaging moment in the form of ‘I don’t care’; and in the example of the word Obligation also, in which the ‘I don’t care’ acted as final refusal, superior to reason.

In seeing and being shown how Care itself defines a relationship to the world, both within and without, that it is like a manifestation of the principle of life, of doing as you would be done unto, then what I see when I start looking into the reality of me within my words, what I see is something very different from that to exist, in the decision of – instead, not doing that – and, in a way getting off on defying life, for all those energetic reasons, then the definition of care in the how of how those words are used, applied, approached, is not in relation to the physical world but to my emotions, to my projections, and in the service of my energetic constructs. Just in this I see a serious problem in putting into application ‘doing as you would be done unto’ while the word I live as Care remains unredefined, predominantly energized, and without connections to the physical world, to the reality of Life.

In looking at how I have defined myself in Care, I see how I have used it habitually in defense or in denial, as in the backchat statement of ‘I don’t care’, and in the physicality of the shrug and shrugging off maneuver, where through various manipulations, Care had been distorted into a reference to the experience of ‘pressure’ from the outside, or pressure from the conscience, pressure of some expectation, pressure from some system or another, into and as a burden of some kind: and so within and as that, justifying ‘I don’t Care’ as a reference to some pre-existent blame, where in this I have attached an energy to Care, so that when I access this, what I am accepting and allowing is a function of my own persuasion systems, , standing as that blame, that leads me back into the comfort zone of righteousness and guilt. Standing as a character of I don’t Care then for a moment I manipulate myself into disregard of all objections, being ok with what I’m doing, and then to go into the toleration of it within the softening of the guilt with ‘It doesn’t matter’.

That ‘It’ in ‘It doesn’t matter’: How have I learned to be so blasé with what is essentially contained within that word It? Where within this, what I see is that I have accepted and allowed a total disheartening of me, kind of by the by, where I have accepted and allowed a heartlessness in how that I asserted definitions on myself, such as with self judgements. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress within me this experience of disheartening, in which becoming Disheartened itself, I have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of how I feel with how I have accepted and allowed myself to treat myself.

Classroom I don’t care: Looking at a memory that was from an experience in the classroom, in a moment of admiration for a person saying out loud “I don’t care!” They were shrugging off the rules, the fear of breaking rules. In that moment who I was within such admiration was like seeing a magic formula within the expression of “I don’t care”, that it could be applied in such a way, that in saying this, I might evoke that confidence within myself that I saw in this person, that I might too shake off the rules and expectations that were constantly overwhelming me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this ‘I don’t care’ to become functional as permission for the system, to ease me into going for the temptation, the energy reward. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed within the statement “I don’t care” a trigger of experience within me, experience of self righteousness and superiority, oblivious to consequence and to the worlds of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself within the statement “I don’t care” as standing for ‘freedom’ in this as ‘my-life’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed within my experience of myself within the statement of “I don’t care” a perspective of time in which the only time is now within this bubble: that there exists no other time but now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this statement, declaration of “I don’t care” as a reaction of disregard for the concerns of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in and to embody a personality of ‘I don’t care’, in retaliation to care, that who I am is superior within not caring, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define this as an evidence of Freedom, that in standing as this personality I feed an image in my mind of who I am as ‘Free’.

Continuing in next post…

Day 351: A Moment during Washing Up

November 27, 2016 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

carnival-detail-2w

Day 351: A moment during Washing Up

Though my mind tells me there’s nothing to write about today, yet I am anyway kind of writing my way in here, while at the same time writing me out, yes, and out also of this blank layer: there was something that I realised while doing the washing up, which I usually enjoy, having got my hands into hot water, and what I realised was to do with an energy that came up in me while I was handling a soapy plate, and the energy that had come up in me was clearly an impatience.

And I stood back for a second to have a look at this energy that was kind of busy rattling about inside me, and I noticed that there was a thought in my head saying, Yes, but what else, what else is there, what else can I have, as if some kind of energy reward or comfort of some kind was required. It was as if a vacancy or a lackingness had suddenly opened up that needed to be filled, as if maybe there was some urgent mission that I had forgotten about, and needed to be reminded of, that I was maybe missing something, or at least these were the sort of thoughts that were kind of reaching for attention.

And yet as I stood there, standing back for this moment, I noticed something really interesting as well; that this energy of impatience rattling around did not in fact have any direct connection to the actual washing up, and that that was a connection that I would usually supply, getting swept up in all of this, where what I saw was that in a moment like this I would habitually feel the impatience, the frustration also maybe, and then immediately blame the presence of this energy inside me on to the physical event of washing up. But it was that the washing up itself had really nothing to do with it. Seeing that, it was very easy to release this impatience, and in a way, seeing how it was in fact redundant, not having been connected up with blame, it was already released; it needed to be validated.

As well as this, with the thoughts that came up in me I had already turned my head, looking toward a radio set, a possible distraction entertainment option. So it was kindly no thanks to that as well, and so I released my neck muscles that had already turned my head. And I then allowed myself to continue with this physical process of the washing up, and enjoy myself within it.

It was like I suppose in a way that my mind wanted to be part of it, to be involved, to have a say, through me within a habitual framing process of what is going on: like with words: such as for example defining what is going on as a ‘chore’, and with such framing, then my mind could easily supply a range of thoughts and energies with which to trigger further reactions and conflict games, and means of involvement.

So here in the context of living diligence, in which I am simply physically keeping abreast of time, with attending to the tasks and details that crop up as part of a physical day: the element of Impatience arises as an undermining factor to that diligence, along with a corrupted definition of work. Seeing these things, I see how also how inadvertently I’m testing out this new diligence in my practical life.

What does it mean, this Redefinition and living of words? Self Creation : SOUL

School Of Ultimate Living: Facebook Page

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 343: Discoveries in Diligence 1

November 15, 2016 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

resin-and-flake-detail-w

Day 343: Discoveries in Diligence 1

Most immediately, around me discoveries in Diligence have begun with house-keeping – where I have been recently been responding to my immediate environment with immediate direction of details: so that a new experience for me has been in experiencing myself in a directed environment. So that there is a new kind of clarity in me – a clarity in the sense of there being no accumulation process of unfinished or uncompleted moments or jobs – not an absolute – there are various tasks that are not complete – but the balance between that which is done and not done has shifted over.

And I see through this a different perspective in the word Tidy, and Tidiness – where something in tidiness that I did not see before – because seeing tidiness without me, outside of me, I could see no reason for it – as an end in itself, and in that way Tidiness as a required state of things seemed to me rather bizarre and unreal – because in a way I could not connect to it, and did not connect much value to it, and as well I rather liked the accidental happenstance of, for example, my discarded clothes, where for a moment the nature of the material itself crashing to the ground, would dictate its form.

Looking up the word Tidy I see that it apparently derives from Timely – where I see now that in Timeliness I am keeping abreast with things that happen in time – within this I see how in judging Tidiness how I have veiled the meaning of it from myself – so that to me it had become as a separate state of things without direct connection of me within it, not being Timely in directing the consequences of my practical living, seeing jobs that in practicality need to be attended to, and so, completing them, rather than abandoning them in time to be completed later – that who I am in Diligence is abreast with time. Whereas in a way through a Cursory perspective I had been seeing tidiness in separation from me, I had defined it in terms of where things go, how things look, and the imposition of a picture on to things.

Continuing next time…

What does it mean, this Redefinition and living of words? Self Creation : SOUL

School Of Ultimate Living: Facebook Page

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

Day 339: Diligence and Intimacy

November 6, 2016 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

ancient-places-w

Day 339: Diligence and Intimacy

Diligence: An image that came to me some time ago like an illustrative reflection of the word was like a memory of seeing across the fields a group of people working: appearing to me like the contrast between these distant figures focused on some specific task and this boundless landscape that surrounded them. What was contained within that illustration that I was showing myself, as in who I was in seeing diligence in such a way – looking at this – I see a kind of strength in being able to focus on specifics despite the massive nature of everything that is going on in all directions – and that within me seeing it thus as me spectating this, I see a kind of longing for that strength, of applying effort and work in such circumstance.

And writing this a memory comes up of an incident in my life in which I was walking through the hills and moors and walked up to a tree, and then closer to the tree inspecting the leaves, and closer still, a fly, resting on a leaf – and the significance to me in that moment was like an experience of intimacy – having physically trekked across these hills, and reached this tree, and entered into this moment with a fly who was resting on a leaf – and the significance was of such intensity that this would be one of those memories that would always be there with me, a memory that was laid down with that intention of: I will remember this moment in my life.

These are elements that I would want to exist for me as who I am in Diligence: that intimacy with the detail that abounds in the moments of my day, that within for example a passing moment that I do not pass that moment on my way to somewhere, that in diligence I support myself in attending to the little things that come up. That in a way I can learn to introduce this boundlessness into my everyday moments where at the same time I learn to let go of the constructs of judgements of significance and impatience so that I can allow myself to focus on what is here in this moment and within that to change my life in a qualitative way towards this intimacy with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have exist within me a sense of longing as who I am within a diligence I see outside of me, and that within that I have accepted and allowed myself as disempowered. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed within that diligence to have denied myself an intimacy with what comes up in my daily life, rather than instead seeing that longing and realizing that who I am within this is longing is but a decision that I am living, and so can change.

Continuing next time…

What does it mean, this Redefinition and living of words? Self Creation : SOUL

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

Day 333: Diligence in Breath!

October 23, 2016 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

primary-w

Day 333: Diligence in Breath!

I made the decision to investigate the contents of the word Diligence in the sense of who and how I’ve been and so become within it and in relation to it, and in this sense the investigation has been like opening a door and walking through it, and discovering nothing that I expected, not just a few points here and there requiring checking and correction, but instead like this really massive room, with this huge machine installed in it, like an engine of some kind bolted to the floor, as the inner engineering of this word, that I had accepted and allowed within me with all these moving parts and strange components.

And there have been moments where I wanted to just turn around and check the door and see what word was actually written on it, entertaining an idea that it might have been the wrong door or something. And in moments like that there is also this familiar experience of me, as standing on the brink of things and not going further, and within that experience, an acceptance of myself as that.

And so with the word Diligence, and allowing me to authorize the structure of this investigation, I go into a new process of gathering up the information that I already have in the realization that yes there is much more, but going further into more is in a way a distraction of trying to make the investigation perfect, and looking at a future in my mind of having all and everything at my disposal, which is one of the patterns that I have come across in writing this; and also there is that I realise now that in walking through these points since 316, that Diligence has become for me quite changed, clearer, lighter, simpler, and that the factors or components that I’ve looked at in myself has already released me to some extent from the accumulated reluctance that was there before unseen by me in the form of energies and conflicts within the subsidiary words of Diligence.

Like for example: Gian proposed for me a diligence in breath: and my reception of this new meeting of two words had a natural lightness and simplicity, through which I could kind of see an inkling of what this redefinition of this word could be and become for me.

Find out: What is Soul

What does it mean, this Redefinition and living of words? Self Creation : SOUL

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

Day 330: System and Structure

October 19, 2016 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

Day 330: System and Structure

Structure: Something that I realized, or released really, within my relationship to Structure in the sense that I let go of one relationship to it, and in doing so allowed myself to see many others that had not been clear. And that one relationship was that I had fastened on to this word as a point of blame within which, yes, there were and are reactions and energetic charges, and inflations of significance, in connections to learning and discipline, to formal education, and formality, and feelings of constriction, and coercion, and yet what I realized was that there was like a whole rest of the world of Structure that were and are as neutral and innocent of these charges, and seeing all this I saw how much these personal reactions formed really quite a minor part.

But in seeing Learning, and practical learning in the sense of process and walking life, expansion of being and taking up directive principle, these sorts of things, I see now how I fastened onto Structure as something I must take a closer look at, as if structure itself was a major problem, when in fact it was more like my reactions to having structure imposed on me, rather than me being the one to support myself in giving structure to things. And this is similar to my reactions to a situation in which I I am accepting and allowing the perception that who I am is being defined.

So it’s like this release experience in my relationship to Structure is more like my letting go of my relationship of being a victim to it, through which there have been like residual fears within it, that have made it difficult to really look at, and within which I have been very much the constrictor of myself.

Something that led up to this, or developed out of, was a visualization of the mind, as a multiple experience of different displays of images going on in my head, that I was wanting to stop, and it occurred to me that I could visualize it as a TV: a box with a screen, and that in having framed, or given shape to this experience in this way, that I could then direct which channels or programs I wanted to watch and also turn it off. Since trying out this method a few times, I found something interesting, which was that I could not turn it off all at once, but if I took a looked at the programs that were on, I could immediately put a name to them, these news flashes, entertainments, soaps, discussions, serials, channels; naming them such as, ok yes, Adam Local News, or ‘The Future of Tomorrow, or ‘Guess what’s going on with So and So’, or ‘All our Favorite Worries Show’, and recognizing them thus, and naming them, then I could go, Ok I do not want to watch that, and then one by one I could turn them off. And if some program came back on I could put a name to it, and turn that off as well.

And what I realized about this was that in visualizing these things in support of me, that what I was doing was adding structure in support of me, giving something that seemed quite nebulous, a shape, giving things that seemed quite random, names, or headings, generally containing things that seemed quite overwhelming.

Further into this I came to this point: that with the thoughts and images in my mind there is something similar going on, where let’s say an energy of some kind is floating about in some nebulous way, and my mind gives to it a shape, makes it tangible, provides an outfit for it, makes a story for it, adds to it a structure that will catch my interest and my engagement with it.

That system is structure also is a point that I have not really seen before, in this light at least, or from this angle, and within this my relationship to structure as one of retaliation that comes from my perception of it being imposed on me, in the various forms of systems of the mind and patterns, and where within this I can learn instead to be the one that gives the structure to me, in support of me.

Find out: What is Soul

What does it mean, this Redefinition and living of words? Self Creation : SOUL

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

Day 327: People Saying Words

October 14, 2016 ~ Journey into Life ~ 1 Comment

painting-detail-000432

Day 327: People Saying Words

People saying words: I find this quite extraordinary, and within this for me there has been a long time fascination: it led me in my twenties into studies of psychology, and eventually into the practice of psychotherapy. Within my fascination there were dimensions of believing that there was some form of jumbled up telepathy going on within my reception of people’s words, and their physical expressions that took place at the same time. And within this training I felt like I had found a place for me in which I could utilize this sensitivity in support of people and at the same time find an application of who I was. Within all of this there was this feeling of there being ‘something more to this’ that was pervasive in the background of my life, and as I look at it now, I see that this was also a dimension of my fascination.

The fact that was familiar to me was that simply asking only seemed to be like touching on a membrane that was ultra sensitive and which would then immediately contract. And in this interaction it seemed to me that I could not push my personal curiosity on this point, but only quietly develop in the art of listening in a way, and make a receptive space in which the essence of the words being used might eventually feel more safe and comfortable to venture out.

While from the other side of this, within being the one being asked, I have experienced my own conditionality, which was in a contract or an expectation of mutual respect of boundaries of secret minds, in which a curiosity similar to my own might seem to prod and probe, and show me in a way my whole unfamiliarity within my self of who I am and how specifically I actually stand within my very words, and that in that unfamiliarity with me a fear of exposure of this relationship to me that I do not wish to see, an experience, like an outside view of my own suppressions, as an experience of the inner consequence of secret mind, and fear of who I am exposed to me as a participant, and within what I saw as being the dangerous forefront of real time communication.

More exactly how and in what ways that I have not known myself has become abundantly more clear in the practical processes of redefinition and the living of words, through which this experience of emptiness with regards to how I have or not defined myself in words is no longer for me so much subject to reaction, but more a sign of so-far-unexplored; and yet this fascination in Communication remains and deepens in the question of exactly what goes on here in this conversation where both of us are in Communication on so many levels, and also not at all on others, in which who we are in each moment as sequences of words in which who we are and what we are living of ourselves in sounds along the timelines, sort of tumbles out, where as I have seen for myself how many constructs and experiences may be contained within even just a single word.

Find out: What is Soul

Investigate this free Redefinition and living of words, Self Creation Insights: SOUL

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

Day 315: The word Patience

September 7, 2016 ~ Journey into Life ~ Leave a comment

Day 314: The word Patience

There is a history of how words have come into my life, to an extent, and sometimes not, me being like at a distance from, or acquainted with, or familiar with them, or averse to: but only recently been asking questions such as: Ok, How can I change my relationship to this word that I see could help me, be supportive of me, could be instrumental in my process of change? What parts of me am I yet unable to express because of the contents that I have accepted and allowed to exist as part of my definition within this word? To what extent have I accepted and allowed this word to move me, to sabotage me, to limit the choices that I make for me?

Questions such as these are opening up with an entirely different relationship with words: in which we are seeing how much the very words we live are sabotaged and modified by us, how much we become the personal experience of ourselves that we have informed into the substance of our words, rather than ever considering how we might instead respect the word and simply live it, and decide within ourselves how we’d want to live it.

It is like we are moving into an age in which we start to realise how much we have accepted and allowed a reality in which the definitions of all things have been somehow external to us, and that the us within it all that has always been the core of it, has been so far undiscovered.

With the word Patience: I can remember examples of people around me saying things like, ‘But I don’t have the Patience’, and, ‘I haven’t got the patience’, and hearing that, what I took away from it was that there was this relationship with patience – that existed – like patience is something you either have or not, and I sort of plied that into my understanding of myself and of the world.

This problem of not having patience was therefore without a solution. And so I would not enter into things that I had decided required patience, I did not want to experience myself within ‘But I don’t have the Patience’ as a kind of limitation. And so there would be this imagination of a moment of giving up amidst an overwhelming realization of lacking patience, being constricted for space in a way, as an image of fear, and as well a sense of futility that would arise from attempting to do something that I had accepted and allowed within my mind, that it was ‘not within my nature’.

That relationship to patience, the either having it or not relationship, and my acceptance of that also had effects on the way I saw the word, it conditioned it in separation from me, because I saw no way that I could genuinely exist within and as it.

I have found that the sense of proximity to an underlying futility as a negative motivator/reaction to be present in other constructs that I have accepted and allowed as me, that there has been a line across which I did not dare to step. And in looking into Futility I have found an inner core of Despair, and out of that a Desperation: That within that the experience of myself that I would come to automatically avoid, was being in panic, being in a state of desperation, finding myself in what I believed to be a dead-end road, not seeing and realizing that this was the outplay of a belief in ‘Human Nature can’t be changed’ that I had absorbed into my understanding along the way, that I was in and as a kind or type of being, no way out. And in relation to that, that experience of seeing self in the light of a self judgement as simply something and something only, without solution.

All of these peripheral experiences and relationships that I attached to the word Patience! Where I had made all these interpretations of the word, and formed positions about it, and feared possible experiences of myself within it, with who I was in how I saw it in my interpretations, and how I excluded myself really from the core of the word, but would see it in my mind as something admirable in others, and yet not something that I could live myself.

I am not yet able to say clearly that I have walked through all of this, and yet sharing some of the aspects of this that I see here now – such as with this relationship of futility with despair, and desperation – which though I see it’s been acting as a driving force – only showing up in just enough intensity for me to suddenly decide to give up on something, where I have not seen the details of the prompt, where I have not slowed myself down enough to see the subtexts of my reactions, such as with the word Patience, hardly being aware that I had invested into Patience, bad feelings, and gone into a pattern in myself of avoiding those bad feelings, never actually in a way hanging round for long enough to look into what were the subsidiary words.

So, then in clearing Patience of all these experiences and relationships of me, and narratives of me that had become habitual, then there came a moment where I could see that like a gift really that Patience the word was open to me, in the sense that I could choose for me how I wanted to live it. And what I chose was in Patience to give myself this slowing down that I required, to give myself space, expansion of my breathing, a focus on what is here to be done. Not the entire job, but just in what is at hand. Making time.

Through this redefinition process I have made of Patience, something that I have brought into me and embraced, it is like a word that is now intimately a part of me, I have made a space within me for it.

See Reptilian Series, 535, WORDS AND PEOPLE

NEW Self Creation Insights: SOUL

Interested in Word Redefinition?

What is EQAFE all about? Here are some introductory videos to the different series in EQAFE:

What is EQAFE’S Quantum Systemization series all about?

What is EQAFE’S Quantum Mind Self Awareness series all about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnKf5C26OpE

What is EQAFE’S Back to Basics series all about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nbqbqHOyw8

What is EQAFE’S Quantum Mechanics of Paranormal Events series all about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SogCTCPuFR0

What is EQAFE’S Life Review series all about?

What is EQAFE’S Quantum Physical series all about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSnNRmGO9sY

What is EQAFE’S Fears and Phobias Series all about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bmyxIF7BJ4

What is the Atlantean Series All About?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4gkkIYMtaQ

What is EQAFE’s Reincarnation & The Afterlife Series all about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70ztuWFyjo8

What is EQAFE’s Demons in the Afterlife Series all about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jLJ5K_hxKo

What is EQAFE’s Animal Life Review Series all about?

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal