Day 472: Writing, Escribiendo, and Convey

In this situation of being Here, nothing ‘ordinary’ exists – one only has to really look at any single thing to know this to be so.

Day 472: Writing, Escribiendo, and Convey

I forgive myself, as my Being, as my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed to persist within me constant obstacles to my expression; that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay compulsive tribute to the resistances that arise within Me; that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay compulsive credence to the doubts in Me and of Me; that I have through all of this accepted and allowed myself to limit the Self Forgiveness that I am willing to give to Me, and that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined according to those limits.

 

I place this SF statement here as a reminder of the previous post: it’s what I have been walking for these six or seven weeks or so, and now probably even more, and if not diligently walking, then all the same it has anyway had effects on who I am, the way I am. Some of these effects have been quite turbulent; from day to day new understandings have been coming up and I have kind of let them go, postponing writing, thinking mistakenly that tomorrow will be clearer, and yet tomorrow turns out to be a different day and different things have happened, seemingly not connected to the day before; and within that turbulence I am different also, or in a different place within myself, or more that there are parts of me that have become apparent that I had not recognised before.

 

Somewhat like a reading of some tarot cards as they turn up on the table; how one follows the other is not obvious at all to our everyday one-dimensionality, and whether it be cards laid down on table tops, or waking modes of thought, or the world itself as picked up by the physical eye in moments of reflection from the timeline of a thought, where a detail of the present scene is kind of pointed out by what the eye alights on – the tarot of the world itself – where from a floating narrative of thought, a reference point was chosen – at a certain juncture – perhaps there had been a glitch of a reaction, or else the glimpse of a solution, a momentary realisation of an implication opening up some a vista or a depth. Chosen spontaneously by the physical eyes, quick as a blink the attention had been rested on a tiny detail of the physical surroundings – as if it were a tarot card, a scale of vision – a movement not away from a certain consideration but instead a move towards a fuller understanding, a metaphorical dimension selected from the physical surroundings. That way the detail that had been lighted on by the physical eye could be seen as being supportive, even though the reading of the world remained so difficult to grasp.

 

This turbulence, or seeming dis-connectedness has not been any kind of problem in the flow of my process and experience of myself, but has been instead in feeling stuck in writing I see it’s like a problem arising from my definition of the word ‘writing’ – I see now how much I have been reacting to myself as I place myself as the living agent in this word Writing, going into judgements about continuity, connection, logical progression, keeping things upright, square, with an eye towards consistency… while my personal experience has been so far from that; and yet really now I look at it, what I see is that conveying my experience of the last few weeks has been a challenge to my definition of the word, and asking the question, Can it stand, and, Can I stand within as this definition, which, now I face the question, and see these weeks of hesitation and realise that I cannot, and that therefore I must now redefine the word anew and clear it.

 

Here is an approach to stuckness in ‘Writing’, to ask: What within my definition of this word am I allowing as obstructive? Does there exist within my definition of the word something that is outside of me or separate from me, such as a projection of myself that cannot be lived, an expectation of myself that cannot be fulfilled, because being a projection, it is not real… is there something in the definition that, when it comes to transfer into living action, causes a malfunction, in which ‘to write’ seems impossible, which maybe for these reasons, it actually is. I mean how can a definition function if it has built into something that is impossible?

 

Within my living of the word Writing, and for me closer to my heart, has been the word Convey; a word that I have lived in many ways, for many years: in physical construction, in paintings, in meetings and in conversations. I am sure of this because in seeing it I realised that here was something of my fundamental purpose here, a purpose that I chose; as if, let’s say in attending to some important detail of a creation, I found the word Convey inscribed, implicitly, as the word writ through it, as it were, and seeing then the presence of this word as the push behind and through my history and the actions of my life, all leading to this present moment writing here, it came up like a wave of urgency to the movements of my hand, feeling like the electricity of awareness of directly living Me.

 

Well back then in the 70’s it wasn’t something like: ‘I see this word, and I will stand by it…’ No, it was more like I was living it, becoming it. It’s only now I recognise what word this was. This leads in to my relationship with Writing and how I have defined and lived it; it’s like the word Convey formed the vital core of it, it formed the impetus of writing. The point being ‘to convey’ to convey the wonder of what I saw as life, while what I saw as being accepted and allowed and written off as ordinary moments existing in some deep or shallow grade of awfulness – so within Convey there was a drive to refute that drabness. It was who I was within and as Convey that I was deeply connected to myself with that extremely rare and scary moment for me of being face to face with my purpose in this world.

 

About five years ago, when I realised that my future life would involve some physical travel, it was obvious that the cost of this would be to lose my painting studio, and my decision was to therefore transfer that creative abstract work with paint into working with the words; and yet it was not clear to me exactly how to make that step. I saw no problem: there was no how about it, I just assumed that I could do it. Now looking at this point I realise that my confidence to just simply do this was coming from that oneness in myself that I had been living as Convey. The definition of Convey that I had lived since my early days was unconditional and unlimited; that I would use whatever came to hand to convey the inner livingness of me into the outer world as my whole purpose. And now I realise that the unlimited quality of Convey also carried with it unquestioned reactions to what I saw as being the drab consensus of the world, and to the rigid older generations, and within that now I see how I had defined Convey with elements of blame and therefore with superiority/inferiority and judgement. And within ‘judge not less ye be judged’ lays the spectre of being judged implicitly within my definition Convey, and so also as it resonates into Writing.

 

And so it was that somewhere deep in my assumptions as I folded up my life of painting, that I could just simply transfer Convey into the vehicle of Writing, I was not seeing at all how or in what way this word might become obstructive, would need some redefinition, that is me within as the expression/living of this word would require redefinition.

 

Living for the first time in this life in a Spanish speaking country I spend a lot of time with completely new and, to me, exotic words; I am in a process of making new connections both with Spanish words, and with English words. So at the same time as learning Spanish I am also in a way revising my familiar English. And in redefining words and in looking into how I’d lived out words, and what I had connected to them, I am suddenly looking at completely new dimensions, and new choices in how I might expand the words I know. For example I find in counter-point to Writing, the word Escribiendo, which for me raised a question that I have mentioned – of the formality that I had attached to Writing – and it brought suggestions to me of different new dimensions: more light hearted, scribbly and bendy, and also more free to wander and scurry about even. And I realised I would like to introduce all these things suggested by Escribiendo into my definition and living out of writing.

 

How and in what way would I like to change within and as the action of this word Writing is indicated here for me in Escribiendo: to first within myself locate that self abundance, and out of that to give to me that lightness that I find in Escribiendo, and not just lightness, but as well that freedom to wander and scurry about a bit.

 

continuing next post…

 

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Day 410: Plugging and Unplugging

 

 

From The Hereafter 2: “… You need some sort of anchoring; you are getting lost in the matrix of your own reality – like you plug out for moments – but the rest of the time, you plug back in… “

Hmmm. Yes that is how it is for me.

When a point comes up, as a word opens into a new light, or as a construct of belief goes into collapse, or just starts wobbling a bit, there is a flood and flurry of information, new memories recalled, emotional releases, and inklings of realization, and there comes up in me an urgency to sort this out, to redirect and to redefine these things before the window of opportunity is closed again and the reintegration processes of consciousness make new adjustments, new connections, and repairs. In a personal experience of something clear on one day and becoming obscure a few days next and then almost inconceivable the next, here is where the anchorage of writing helps.

And in writing in this circumstance what I find are disconnected fragments from all different dimensions, like relevant examples from everywhere that pertain in someway to these realizations. The As Below and So Above of consciousness gives to realization a panoramic relevance, with relationship lines that are woven intimately both into my personal reality, and in consequence into the systems of the world. The responsibility of that seems massive to my parochial point of view: and reacting to this ‘massive’ tag, I am already accepting and allowing preparations and primings for a judgement on the scraps and fragments that I actually write, seeing them as useless and incomplete, and no use to anyone.

That sharing of my personal journey of standing up from within my version of this exact same shell of consciousness that we all share might be useful to another person is important to me, this runs parallel to my gratitude to so many beings who have shared with me and showed me things about their inner lives, and through which incrementally I have changed, seeing often there is not just only one way to see this thing or that thing, or perhaps there is the take-away of a word or a sentence that resonates within me, well all kinds of things that happen lol.

Awareness of the context of who we are as beings in Existence living out a life on Earth, in the physical dimensions, is a gift I’d surely like to broadcast, and  to strengthen in me. Awareness that my reality is configured and shaped by my relationships to everything is another one. These are not awarenesses that would close the box, as with a belief, but instead would open it, would help to stabilize the welling up of questions.

The question Who Am I to this specific thing, within myself, within my life, within this world, within this moment, with others as myself, is to look at these relationships, to look again at these relationships; Equality and Oneness sounds magnificent and fine but is useless if not applied as a source of measures in a way to all relationships to everything, as a compass or a GPS, in a world in which the compass of mind-consciousness has brought and brings destruction. Our transition now is through a GPS that aligns not with the polarities of the mind-consciousness, but with the principles of Life, and therefore to actual Living here in this moment of reality in and as a physical life on Earth.

Such principles are a kind of anchorage for me, and also in a way a stepping back for a moment, releasing my attention from a tunnel-vision, where I’d somehow got too tracked and lost my self direction.

 

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eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
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Day 334: Interlude: A sketch of a poem.

 

 

Day 334: Interlude: A sketch of a poem.

 

A memory from Earth: For such two words to be placed beside the other, what kind of processing must have been evolved, such as in the mining of what exotic ore, extraction of what essence, what chemistry of words that placed just so would make it possible for such a question to persist? Truly with the thickness of a shadow this ego abrogates substantiality, brushing over field and hay, content within a vehicle that is merely ever only reference to something real. Same question in a way as in how and what I am in breathing breath, attempting to define this word with all the technology of the mind together focused on this action that is central to my life on Earth, and finding that in how I have lived each word that they cannot really grasp the question or grasp the realization that the question represents.

 

That question was as a gift to me: and within that gift at the same time an experience of myself in gratitude, that was gratitude itself, the gift.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

 

 

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Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

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Day 330: System and Structure

Day 330: System and Structure

 

Structure: Something that I realized, or released really, within my relationship to Structure in the sense that I let go of one relationship to it, and in doing so allowed myself to see many others that had not been clear. And that one relationship was that I had fastened on to this word as a point of blame within which, yes, there were and are reactions and energetic charges, and inflations of significance, in connections to learning and discipline, to formal education, and formality, and feelings of constriction, and coercion, and yet what I realized was that there was like a whole rest of the world of Structure that were and are as neutral and innocent of these charges, and seeing all this I saw how much these personal reactions formed really quite a minor part.

 

But in seeing Learning, and practical learning in the sense of process and walking life, expansion of being and taking up directive principle, these sorts of things, I see now how I fastened onto Structure as something I must take a closer look at, as if structure itself was a major problem, when in fact it was more like my reactions to having structure imposed on me, rather than me being the one to support myself in giving structure to things. And this is similar to my reactions to a situation in which I I am accepting and allowing the perception that who I am is being defined.

 

So it’s like this release experience in my relationship to Structure is more like my letting go of my relationship of being a victim to it, through which there have been like residual fears within it, that have made it difficult to really look at, and within which I have been very much the constrictor of myself.

 

Something that led up to this, or developed out of, was a visualization of the mind, as a multiple experience of different displays of images going on in my head, that I was wanting to stop, and it occurred to me that I could visualize it as a TV: a box with a screen, and that in having framed, or given shape to this experience in this way, that I could then direct which channels or programs I wanted to watch and also turn it off. Since trying out this method a few times, I found something interesting, which was that I could not turn it off all at once, but if I took a looked at the programs that were on, I could immediately put a name to them, these news flashes, entertainments, soaps, discussions, serials, channels; naming them such as, ok yes, Adam Local News, or ‘The Future of Tomorrow, or ‘Guess what’s going on with So and So’, or ‘All our Favorite Worries Show’, and recognizing them thus, and naming them, then I could go, Ok I do not want to watch that, and then one by one I could turn them off. And if some program came back on I could put a name to it, and turn that off as well.

 

And what I realized about this was that in visualizing these things in support of me, that what I was doing was adding structure in support of me, giving something that seemed quite nebulous, a shape, giving things that seemed quite random, names, or headings, generally containing things that seemed quite overwhelming.

 

Further into this I came to this point: that with the thoughts and images in my mind there is something similar going on, where let’s say an energy of some kind is floating about in some nebulous way, and my mind gives to it a shape, makes it tangible, provides an outfit for it, makes a story for it, adds to it a structure that will catch my interest and my engagement with it.

 

That system is structure also is a point that I have not really seen before, in this light at least, or from this angle, and within this my relationship to structure as one of retaliation that comes from my perception of it being imposed on me, in the various forms of systems of the mind and patterns, and where within this I can learn instead to be the one that gives the structure to me, in support of me.

 

 

 

Find out: What is Soul

What does it mean, this  Redefinition and living of words?  Self Creation : SOUL 

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 324: Dream and Pattern

 

 

Day 324: Dream and Pattern

 

I thought it was some part of a world that I was living in; it looked like one, but I had not seen that these were only fragments leaning up against the walls, like pictures juxtaposed so that if I looked at them in a kind of way they seemed to fit together, fit my story, and I could fool myself somehow that that this was a life. There was a view of a meadow, a field, a perspective of a track, there was the view through the screen of vehicle of some kind, a picture of a gate, a house all boarded up and locked, and then inside the house, a kitchen work top and some crumbs and bits of traveller’s fare, a paper bag with a chunk of cheese half wrapped in it, and two people that I used to know who were not together any more, but on their way to somewhere with their separate plans. And all these individual memories were linked together with strands into some papers in my pockets, sort of worn and pressed and creased with dog eared corners and fears of what was there and what was not, and my hands could feel the outlines of these papers; some of it was notes of money, and some of it was tickets for a train that was paid for in some other country. And in my mind there were these places on a map all scattered, and I realized that all of this was held together in my mind like a story, and there were no places inbetween the memories, it was not real, there was only me here with these scraps of belief and snaps of picture only held together by my own consistency, that in some way it was that my mind required a world.

 

And then when I awoke, it was still dark and I considered that seeing as I was awake, I shall now get up, but the fact of darkness seemed to say, Not yet, it does not fit the pattern, and what I should do is synchronize into my patterns where all the pictures of my life are linked together and then I can continue to exist through following these, stepping from one image to the next, like stepping stones. And here was a point in which for me there was something new, such as that a tension that had ruled a muscle group had melted and let go, and though I saw that I could choose to tune into the grooming process of my mind, I did not have to: the fact of darkness was not binding, it was kind of arbitrary, and my awakeness was the real thing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a belief of scraps of memory and links of memory to form and model a reality in my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to content to fool myself that this is real.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear that something bad might happen if I do not function as the linking of my patterns. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the output of my mind that I should not be awake and get up at this time.

 

 

 

 

Redefinition and living of words,  Self Creation Insights: SOUL 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

Day 311: Forgiveness

Day 311: Forgiveness

 

Taking back to me the authority that I had rejected, within which I had trusted in the reality of my rejection of it, in my belief that my authority as awareness of my responsibility could be decided to exist or not exist within my mind: I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in such belief, that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my own access to myself in such a way.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand in faith of judgement as a position of power and control within my mind, as the arbiter of limitation in my world. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this beingness suppressed, that I have accepted and allowed for me instead of living, to have a scheme of life in which I am not a part of life itself, not here in this reality of life, but as a simulation of it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed for me to be and to be become a principle of acceptance and allowance within and as the very workings of my mind; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a comfort zone from this, and all around that comfort zone, that I have accepted and allowed as real, a world of fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within and as my very self forgiveness, go automatically into visions of ‘how I should be’ as projected in my mind, and into experience of myself in simulating that, and then within and as that experience, believing who I am within the simulation.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into this tendency to establish that belief, to validate it in my self forgiveness, not seeing how that still I am drawn towards it, not seeing how I have been satisfied with just a glimpse of me as a potential that exists inside me, that I have not yet lived, that is not yet actually real.

 

Seeing how I have done that, and do do that within my mind, living a life in which I have been satisfied with and excited by potentiality itself as an entertainment in my mind: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow hidden judgement systems to become integrated into my self forgiveness, and into the word Forgiveness, in which I have accepted and allowed the self forgiveness statement to be almost as a prayer in which how ‘I’d like to be’ is like an act of magic in a mind reality, rather than as a creative starting point of questions then of therefore, how to change this, how to practice this, how to build on this, how to make this practically so.

 

 

 

NEW Self Creation Insights: SOUL 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

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Day 308: The word: Righteous

 

Day 308: The word: Righteous

 

The unnoticed and hence unquestioned cramping and distortion of the scope of words in our life plays a big part in depth of communications in the world, and hence in world conflict, world insanity, world incoherence. Seeing that this is a reflection of the consciousness within me that I have accepted and allowed to stand in compliance and conformity with the consciousness of the mainline of the world, the task is here to open up the nature of the consciousness that is contained within the word, and bring questions to it, strengthening ourselves as we learn to stand within and as the question, the last question in the programmed world: Who Am I in relation to this: and what have I accepted and allowed myself to be within this?

 

So many words I gathered up and absorbed and accepted into me as I walked the gridlines, as it were, without a critical perspective, and then went forward into life using these words that I had gathered up as tools of my reality, as found within me, in ‘making do’ with who I found myself to be within them, as part of them, and using them within me in constructions of reasonings, not realising how in any way that in accepting and allowing the limitation of my first experiences of words within my understanding, how I had accepted and allowed a limitation to the scope of my understanding of myself, and within that understanding, keys to access self direction and deliberate self change.

 

 

This word: Righteous. My first experiences of the word righteous as I began to recognise it in my life was in the context of religion, where ‘righteousness’ describes an inner and an outer ‘walking with’ acceptance of a scripture, of a way to be, that is good and right. So considering the provenance of the word ‘righteous’ in my life, what then of it, if I do not accept the scripture any longer, do not accept the values of ‘good’ and ‘right’, having seen that they do not extend into physical reality, do not accept the mind construct of a hierarchical reality, what then of ‘righteous’? It is not that it ceases to exist within me, applied, subsisting only in the world unfolded by the scripture, having no application, because there is the underlying religion of myself, in which experience of myself as ‘righteous’ is as a proclamation of who I am in ‘walking with’ acceptance of the scriptures of my personalities, self images, self programs. And there is an accumulated positive energy experience that I have connected to this self assured self proved self integrity.

 

An illustrated book that I had accepted and allowed to exist within the word righteousness: Images entitled: ‘Fire and Brimstone’, ‘Divine Wrath’, ‘Piousness’, people on raised platforms, pointing at things, the religious ego acting out assumptions of superiority and authority, and written into this, examples of righteousness defined as a willingness to emulate the laws and sayings of the Scriptures, to stand within and as these sayings of ‘How to Live’, sayings of the ultimate reward in tenacity of faith and belief. That standing ‘right’ within the laws of God, one stands in righteousness. So, also, seeing a person acting out on images of self as more important, superior within being right, teaching or preaching or pontificating – there I believe that what I am seeing happening in my perception correlates to these images in my mind that I have labeled, ‘righteousness’. Writing out some of the content of this word as I have allowed it to exist within me, I realise that within the religious context of how I had absorbed the word, I had also taken into me ‘self-righteousness’ as a ‘sin’, and within that, elaborate pre-established justifications of judgement. There was no example of a word within my mind that expressed a relationship of alignment to myself and to the world and reality with it and as it, only this word righteous, based on this religious mind value of ‘right’, having been defined within belief. I can see that looking into me and finding no experience of ‘righteousness’ (as such) going on within me, how then I might have believed it.

 

I am seeing that I have accorded a negative value to self righteousness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge self righteousness as something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’, that in seeing self righteousness within me that I have thus accepted and allowed myself to veil it from me with this reference to myself at core within it as being bad or wrong, and that I have accepted and allowed myself to project, blame, and judge others in my world in being ‘self righteous’, as less than who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed for all of this to become systemized as a pattern within me, so much so that I have accepted and allowed such statements as: “I have overcome self-righteousness”, or “I have transcended that.” While all the time not seeing how in all the many ways that I cling to my personal systems, and within myself insist upon the integrity of what I have accepted and allowed, and so I see that as an expression of that insistence I have in no way overcome or transcended self righteousness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach this bad judgement definition of myself in self righteousness; I see and realise and understand how through this that I have within this accessed a shame of me as bad, and that I have accepted and allowed this reaction to myself to distract me from looking at what systems, structures or designs that I am standing in defense of here, and so direct myself to question such defense, and so move myself towards solution. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in shame as a reaction on seeing myself in a memory acting or speaking in self-righteousness.

 

Thus looking into who I am within accepting the scripture of the backchat, believing that I have overcome, or transcended self righteousness – to learn from this that I can choose to instead of ‘overcome’ or ‘transcend’, to embrace myself within this, that instead of seeing and reacting to evidence of my identity as bad or wrong, I simply look at evidence of what it is that I am showing myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see that ‘self righteousness is bad’ is also an expression of self-righteousness that I have taken into judgement, intrinsic to the judgement, that I am personifying judgment in my inner world, standing on a platform of self righteousness that is an energetic experience of myself in standing integrated as an image of myself within my mind.

 

 

(Eqafe refs: Redefining Integrity: Reptilians 170, 171 )

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 300: Meaninglessness, Lost, and Freedom Mind Spin.

Day 300: Meaninglessness, Lost, and Freedom Mind Spin.

 

 

A direction: From meaninglessness to a hereness, a connection to all, an intimacy.

 

From who I am within and as meaninglessness to who I am in awareness of myself and in awareness of the relationships and scripts that I have written for myself within this word, all coming from decisions that I have made of who I am within and as emotion, where as described last post I made the decision to bring ‘lost’ into and as an energy source within this system of meaninglessness.

 

Continuing, with an exploration of the contents of the word ‘lost’ as defined into a system of meaninglessness – in which I support myself deliberately within and as ‘exploration’ – In which, rather than being in constant reaction to myself I am on the ground, taking steps of investigation into ‘lost.’

 

In my life, today, now 1st of February 2016, to log it down into physical time record – I write this to support myself – in living ‘persistence’ as who I am in physical time – because so much I still live out a mind experience of time, or a time on hold while in the mind everything apparently must stop to look at this or that and then have exist within that pause, an image of foreverness.

 

So: deliberately here coming back from that, with something like, Remember Life, this physical existence that is here? With my hand resting on the certainty of this table top, with this incremental physical time, life-time, and so within that a reminder to myself to not just only remember this but to slow down into it and live it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ‘there is no time for physical life’ to exist within my mind as I am drawn towards some ‘important’ point, or some attraction of some thought, or the attraction of some fear of loss that I have accepted and allowed with regards to some fleeting realization that I see in my mind as being reabsorbed into the oblivion.

 

Seeing how it was that I had included ‘freedom’ as a positive spin of ‘lost’ and ‘meaninglessness’, opening up as yet another point as I write these posts, is like an example of how in my life now still operate this meaninglessness as I had formulated in myself when I was young; where in the sound of ‘No’ as spoken in my mind in current time, I see how these connections span my life, in which as a reminder, all my life is here.

 

Saying No, a refusal, in the advent of a responsibility, such as No, I’ll do it later, and, ‘Not now’: I noticed how within that reaction was like taking up the opportunity to assert who I have accepted and allowed myself to be within and as ‘Freedom.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define freedom with feeling good, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define freedom with not being controlled by structures or plans. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself define freedom with doing exactly ‘as I like’, and that I have accepted and allowed this ‘like’ to be equal to feeling good.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assess the responsibility before me in terms of how good I might feel. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to responsibility with a fear of loss of the good feeling in my mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within and as, and that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into judging what it is that is here to be done, defining it as something that does not matter, something that is less than me, something that can wait, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define this freedom as a right, and not seen realized and understood that what I have defined within myself as a right is to follow the demands of energy as self interest, with freedom as this positive that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight for, to protect, and to defend.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live out freedom not seeing how I had defined it as a limitation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the thrill of asserting who I have accepted and allowed myself to be as ‘freedom.’ I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become enslaved to energy within this word that I have accepted and allowed as ‘freedom.’

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to be free to move myself without the motivations of the energy. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to be free to embrace this responsibility that instead I have reacted to and then said ‘No.’ I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word freedom to obstruct my own expansion in which in saying ‘No’ I am in fact saying yes to the systems of the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘No’ with ‘Yes’ to the systems of the mind as who I am in ‘freedom’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself that I have grown comfortable within this arrangement, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as unworthy within this comfort. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of who I am as unworthy in my judgement.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enshrine this word ‘freedom’ within my mind, as an existential birth right, as a sacred resource, or an inner fire, as a reference to an inner definition that I have accepted and allowed as who I am, but never really looked at closely. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize that who I am as defined in freedom is as an emotional/feeling experience.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at how I am to then define for me who I am in freedom, how I am to apply this freedom in practice in my life, how in application of this freedom I can then direct myself to learn to be for example free to speak the words that are within me, free to move my body, free to reach out to others in my world, free to collaborate with others plans to make this freedom practical and real.

 

 continuing…

 

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 296: Anxiety and Best Potential

 

 An opportunity here:

Watch this: –> Let’s Talk About You

 

…wherein opening all aspects of myself to be seen, I see as well.

 

My reaction: Yes for sure anxiety moved inside me.

What is it like to be me as I look for a moment through the eyes of the process of all life at me, and see how I actually really stand right now in relationship to my best potential, how do I feel about it, what is it that I’m living as within this?

 

My relationship to my ‘best potential’: that I had been keeping it away from me. I had separated from it, while in myself I had experienced anxiety and fear of not being able to rise to this great thing that I had put away from me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project ‘best potential’ into a future in my mind, in a scenario in which I believed that I was working ‘towards’ something. I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see it is my decision to be and live my best potential in every moment. In the context of this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate anxiety within my self as part of my relationship to ‘best potential’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in shame in my relationship to ‘best potential’, where, rather than utilizing this to change myself, I have suppressed the point. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in shame and guilt in seeing myself in this moment here in separation from my best potential. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word ‘better’ with negative energy, so that within this word I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to include reactions to authority where I had absorbed a realm of ‘betterment’ as an expression of the demands of the system and authority towards goals and purposes out there not a part of who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word better, and yet brush by this reaction. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed experiences of competition within the word better, so that within better, I forgive myself that I have accepted winning and losing to exist.

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 294: Meaninglessness: Backchat 2

 

 

 

 

Since the beginning of January I have been keeping a diary with the specific intention of using pages with their actual physical dates written into them. I see that this can be supportive within substantiating myself in reference to real actual physical time, and as a reminder to me of the value of this time, this life-time in the physical dimensions. Along with ‘resolve’, I now walk ‘persistence’ also, as to become a dimension of ‘resolve’; through persisting I am forwarding my resolve through physical time. Who I am as persistence supports my stability as I continue to examine specific dimensions of a personality of giving up, arising out of meaninglessness, and this backchat: I HAVE NO FUTURE. Whereas this personality was formed in the self interested scope of immediacy, now with breath and in and as persistence in time and space and in resolve I can use this word to support my own stability.

 

Who am I within and as the background of this belief, machine code, command prompt wording of backchat that it must be so that: I HAVE NO FUTURE? When I look at how it is that these words seemed appropriate to me, at the time, I see how in that moment of formulation, that the words had seemed to accommodate and contain the pattern of energies that I was in: and it was this that I impressed into the words, I HAVE NO FUTURE. When I look into moments of hearing through my ears this saying of I HAVE NO FUTURE, I see that they are features of a screenplay, they are like the tragic moments of giving up while facing up to ‘all being lost’. ‘ALL BEING LOST’: it is like another conception of energy that has no comprehension of physical reality, working as another flashcard in the series, in this play-out of the pattern into giving up.

 

Looking into ‘future’ and seeing how this in my mind was charged with feeling of hope, the realization moment that I HAVE NO FUTURE, has also been an experience of the collapse of hope, and so experience of disappointment. I forgive myself that I have created an image in my mind of the future as a projection of an energy feeling that I have defined as hope. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to exist within myself an image of the future that had no foundation in physical reality. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on this hope as a source of positive energy. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my relationship to the collapse of hope within me, to become part of my definition of myself within I HAVE GOT NO FUTURE, and through that, informing ‘who I am as meaningless.’

 

 

Continuing…

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal