Backchat : What’s wrong with running away from reality?
This line of backchat came popping up into my mind as I was reading through a Journey to Life blog post about procrastination – I take it to be as a self righteous protection and defence of the procrastination character.
It’s a tricksy question, because it implies that if there is nothing ‘wrong’, then hope can be established (made ‘real’) in it being ok. So here within this point, a self manipulation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself with using the word ‘wrong’ deliberately as a point that can be dismissed so as to establish proof of righteousness in the equations of my mind that it could then be justified and ok and excusable to be running from reality, if ‘only just for now’ in the context of procrastination.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify and validate a fear within this statement specifically within the word ‘running’, in which I make an implication of something coming after me within my mind.
I forgive myself that I have within this statement accepted and allowed myself to define reality as something separate from me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within this statement to define myself as superior within being as my own god in defining reality itself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as less than this reality, while at the same time superior in that I can choose to live within a justification of running away from it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise and understand the multiple insanities in such a backchat statement, but that instead I have simply let it exist within and as me as a statement that is presented to myself as an answered question.
I forgive myself that I have within this backchat statement accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am the reality from which I run.
I forgive myself that I have within this backchat statement accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am justifying and validating a fear of my own experience of myself, in which rather than facing the reality of what it is that I am accepting and allowing as who I am, I have chosen to justify my fear and go into the experience of energy as hope within my mind and my imagination where in an alternative reality apparently I can escape from me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise and understand and recognize this backchat statement as an element of mind control through which I have accepted and allowed myself as superior within an accumulation of energy in service of this consciousness as the energy authority of me.
I forgive myself that in this backchat statement that I have accepted and allowed myself justify myself as consequence of energy reaction, and as self righteousness within rejection of my reality in this existence which is as self responsibility in who I am and who I have become.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see in this backchat statement, that it is also part of an internal conversion in which I am being questioned, and that in my defensiveness I have interpreted in my mind as criticism or judgement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a question arising in myself as an attack on me, from which I have accepted and allowed myself essentially to stand up for me as my fears of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to store this backchat statement/internal conversation retort/answer back within me and as part of who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to point a finger of blame towards an imaginary questioner of who and what I am allowing myself to be. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to score again in winning as self righteousness against the voices of judgement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards my own self judgements in being ‘wrong’. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my judgements of myself so as not to listen to the question in and of my mind that obviously there is a problem here in that I am accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is possible to escape the consequence of me.
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in hope that I can have an alternative existence that is without consequence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust this hope. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand up for and defend this hope in reaction games within my mind. Within all this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not notice that I have become possessed by energy within these distractions and that meanwhile who I am that is real remains not faced, not understood and so as unresolvable within the conflicts of my mind.
I commit myself to remove this backchat statement from my mind as part of the character of procrastination, and as the initiating trigger for a character of ‘life should be fun’.
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