Day 389: Defining Calm 2

 

Supporting people to see the principle of Self Creation: thanks Cerise for that simple grounding description of Desteni, and in respect to that I realized how I’d like to place a context for this blog in which I stand with this support, in which I share my learning process of supporting me and all as me in the recognition of that all of us have the same Mind Consciousness System though each of us has furnished differently.

 

So in sharing the example of me, in opening up these parts of me, and who I am and what I find within the very words that I’ve been living, I do not do this in any way as being specifically instructional in what I write but where I stand in sharing me is in the realization that my most direct learning experiences in reading personal process and listening to interviews of Desteni has been in recognizing within maybe a detail of what is being shared, that in my mind I see that too, as well, I am seeing something about the way I am within myself that I can’t deny, and that in seeing that within myself, I am empowered to make correction, to investigate this further, to use the tools of change.

 

To connect this post into the context of present time, in May 2017, I am writing this while the Control and Freedom series is being released by Eqafe, starting here.

 

So kind of in a way like under the umbrella of points that come up for me in support of me in exploration of how I am in Calm, there is a moment in which I am rustling through a pile of papers, having lost a document, while within me there is like a storm going on, a storm of rushing time, and I realise that here is an example of who I am within the consequence of procrastination, in which all of that begun, unfinished, unstarted, unresolved, incomplete and not brought through seems to storm around me: and I see myself within that storm as last minute doing the essentials. And yet what is Calm within that for me, but as an act of balance, an act of coping with the energy? And then the rain begins, let’s say, the rain of realisations of things forgotten, and in those moments I see within me that all of it comes down to me: even though all that I experience in this moment of the physical world is actually its quietness, its stability, its persistence, I see how I am standing within the reception of the quietness of the physical world as in denial, in separation from it believing that I cannot share this calm.

 

Explorations into Procrastination and Time

 

Sounding the word Pro-cras-tin-a-tion: that’s the extent of it, like a train it takes ages to arrive, it takes ages to say it, half way through the saying of it I even almost feel like a little break, playfully speaking, if not at some place in the middle, then at the end, after the entire system of all of it is fully sounded out; because throughout the clunky coming and arrival of it there has been many access step ups into weariness, and playful option links, and many a set of frames and windows, doors and carriages, and then from skimming along the platform edge, it comes to rest, and a pause of quietness settles on the platform, no wheels, no tracks, no underworld, just sliding doors and automation…

 

Already in allowing such a metaphor to unfold I show myself so many aspects of myself in how I am within and as procrastination, and yet the platform in the metaphor is quite simple in a way, it consists of how I have decided to be in relation to Time, where for Procrastination to get the green light, one of the things I do is set, believe, accept, allow a value of this Time.

 

Here is a point where I see how I have merged Me-Time – in a way like an installed control and reaction to a fear of loss of time in being ‘made’ to do things, a perception of Time being taken from me – all of this I have merged with Time itself, and within that I see how I have added into Time an alternative reality of emotion, with Me-Time sort of representing a construct/life mission/contract reaction statement of who I am merged into physical Time.

 

And within this I see how I have been in a state of desperation, grasping Time, as who I am in My-Life-Me-Time, and in Procrastination where this My-Life-Me-Time comes up, here is where the self manipulation starts where this desperate authority of fear of loss of me in time exerts itself with the go ahead of my allowance.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see that in the crisis and rush to do things, get things done, that I am actually acting out this desperation, this grasping at time, while knowing well that this is the consequence of time that I have taken. I forgive myself that I have stood as acceptance of this me-time within and as the rush.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the fear of taking back authority from the desperation where I placed it, where I have accepted and allowed this fear of loss of Time as My-Life-Me-Time to define me, to control me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a comfort zone of this My-Life-Me-Time, because I see and realise that there is no real comfort here, but only constant holding on and holding off, under the illusion of having gained or won some moments.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define this My-Life-Me-Time within a positive experience of energy within and as a construct of ownership and authority within my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Life according to my mind, where in disregard of what Life is that I have amplified an idea of my own authority in relationship to it as being ruled by My, and the Me in me-time.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and live this me-time as in supplying me-time as positive energy experience, where what I see I can do instead is bring this care of with-me into my awareness at this trigger point of accepting and allowing the procrastination system, to not allow the energy of me-time as a point of self manipulation any more. So as and when this word Time comes up in the persuasions of procrastination, I treat it as a red flag I commit myself to release the interests of the energy, in me-time, and how I have accepted and allowed myself to be within and as that energy, from how I have defined myself in Time.

 

I commit myself to release the word Time as I have lived it from the experience of fear of loss and reactions founded on a belief that time was being taken from me, that unless I protected me from this, then Time would not be Mine, that then I would have no access to my life of ‘Freedom’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place limitations on the access to me according to this me-time construct in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this me-time construct exist as a righteous cause of conflict within the definitions of who I am within and as the word Obligation, where in seeing Obligation within the tasks in front of me, in the moments of procrastination, I focus on the ligatures of obligation and so again within the Obligation, I accept and allow the same manipulation within this defensive point of me-time from which I have looked upon responsibility as landed on me, as a constriction, or where I see within myself that my embrace of this responsibility is not complete, not unconditional in this moment, not real.

 

So here once again a red flag for the Me-Time as it comes up in seeing Obligation where I can instead be walking in the question of how can I extend myself as who I am and how I have decided to be in this responsibility, into the facts and actions of the obligation where who I am in this word Obligation is extension of myself in my responsibility, and who I am within and as responsibility is how I have defined this for me, that within accepting a responsibility that I still have access to myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Obligation in a negative energy. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this construct of me-time to exist as sabotage in living Obligation.

 

Continuing next post…

  

Some references to Eqafe interviews in support of walking for Self a redefinition of process of the word Calm:

 

https://eqafe.com/p/panic-attacks-become-calm-become-comfort-atlanteans-part-298

 

https://eqafe.com/p/panic-attacks-embodying-words-atlanteans-part-297

 

https://eqafe.com/p/the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-43

 

 

 

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Day 304: Meaninglessness, and Changing who I am Within ‘Audacity’

MAGIC-EYE2

 

Looking at a moment when rather than facing and stabilizing myself before a task that needed to done, I had instead gone into guilt, and was hovering over in a way, pressing the entertainment button on it all; I noticed how I was accepting and allowing a search process to be going on, a reaching out for a formulation of audacity, or for possible ways I might be able to embody this, not from a starting point of supporting myself to face this task, and who I am within and as it, and in disregard for all the energy distractions that were coming up – which would be supportive in a real audacity – towards the systems of my mind – if that word audacity itself had not become so wired with energy designs.

 

So not from a starting point of supporting myself to face this task, but from a starting point of attempting to realize a personality, to materialize a definition of ‘audacity’ that I held within me, to become and move into an embodiment of that. As in accepting and allowing a judgement of myself defined as not good enough to even begin the task, or as unworthy of the effort, and then an experience of how I had defined myself within this, and then in this pattern gone into guilt; it was in relation to accepting and allowing the play out of all of this, that ‘audacity’ came up, kind of looking for a backdoor through which I justify both denying and then changing the entire context of the situation, so that I can continue to fool myself that I am feeling good, when in point of reality I am not happy with myself at all, and I am alarmed at what I have accepted and allowed myself to become within my own self judgements.

 

So this is about using a word for an energy maneuver and allowing it to become defined within this function, where the exact same word if cleared of energy designs could instead be used and lived in the exact same situation in support of self and in support of Life.

 

Promulgated through the media comes this trickle-down effect of personality example. From out of absolute power and absolute corruption now comes a mutated form of audacity: as a flagrant flaunting of the law, as power expressed as righteous supremacy, as having miraculously transcended accountability. We see on screens politicians wriggling amongst their lies, and then when cornered becoming stone-faced in absolute denial – hold it there – that was the specific frame, the memory clip as an example of the ‘audacity’ that I was accepting and allowing myself to put myself in reference to within my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to dare to look upon and see my own wrath that I have put on me, but have instead projected this onto an image in my mind of another being. I forgive myself that I have stored this image in my mind as a trophy of blame and a source of energy. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look upon this image on the screen, and define it in a damning judgement, saying the words, Such Audacity!

 

Now looking into this word, I see how it first appeared during the writing of the previous post, in which I was looking at the choice of defining that which I was attending to as a processing of what I had become – as Art – and I can see now looking at this that what I saw in Art that attracted me was differing expressions of audacity.

 

Walking into Life, like stepping stones into a matrix, I took on and absorbed definitions of myself, word by word, not seeing realizing or understanding that the energy designs within the words would synchronize and lead eventually into a structure that was separate from Life, which was as a system of reactions to myself within my mind.

 

So here in this blog, looking at a moment in which a lockdown of the resulting programming had occurred, in an epiphany of who I am as ‘lost’ in meaninglessness, in which I had succumbed to experience of myself as a working constellation of beliefs, beliefs of who I am derived from comparison with others, who I am in relationship to the energies inside of me, who I am within and as these patterns into which I have awarded an offering of my own authority, and through that means responded to the voices of these patterns as if to an expression of leadership in my mind.

 

And so, in the accepted and allowed context of my world, examples of audacity stood out for me, as I scanned my repressed world, as precious objects. Here were contained the blueprint lessons to be memorized absorbed and inwardly digested. A demonstrated disregard for energy beliefs, non recognition of the fear initiatives that accompanied authority, moments of cheek or impudence. Within all of this it seemed to me there was a chink of light; I was not aware of looking at the point that ‘audacity’ was a fact of word, that it could not be un-existed, could not be eradicated; but instead, this understanding filtered through, as if through frosted glass, an emotional screen, and so what I looked at was a light of hope, I saw a demonstration of a world in which experience of lightness, fun, enjoyment, laughter, play, invention and creation, remained inviolable to this version of ‘authority’ as I had accepted and allowed it to exist within my mind. And within all of this there was an awareness in myself that I could not as yet embrace, which was as a glimpse of my potentiality as my own authority within and as myself, not as a point of competition but simply as a quality of this immediate existentiality with reference to how each and everyone had opened up their eyes and found themselves to be.

 

Audacity: as a suppression of guilt in which I have accepted and allowed myself to swell into this-is-me glorification, self justification, and, I don’t care, I am just doing it anyway. Within this, passively accepting and allowing this gesture to hold sway where this audacity is no longer as a manipulation strategy of a moment, but has become ingrained, has become the page from which I intend to go on; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to embody this emotion of audacity, to embody a ‘leadership’ placement of myself as an energy point, as a personality within my mind, as an illusion of empowerment in which I have twisted that guilt that I have accepted and allowed, so as to yield an apparent victory over energy, and connected into and as an image of who I am as ‘freedom’ within my sovereign state of ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in notions of winning and losing in relationship to the energy experience of guilt. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am empowered within this audacity relationship to guilt. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define accumulation of energy into the word empower. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my responsibility as power over to guilt, through which I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish and enfeeble who I am to guilt, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear of being overwhelmed by guilt. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself into a righteousness of superiority as an accumulation of positive energy through fear of the experience of guilt. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this self manipulation to become as a personality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘leadership’ with this experience of myself within and as ‘audacity’, in which apparently I take back ‘control’ and become as a conflict of energy. I see realise and understand that within and as this conflict of energy that I am not in fact leading myself or leading my life in any way but instead I am accepting and allowing me to be lead by energy addiction as this personality of audacity. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge audacity when seeing it in the outside world, I forgive myself that I have given to audacity a negative charge, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within and as audacity.

 

I forgive myself that I did not accept or allow myself to see that in the situation of guilt that I was looking for audacity as a way to free myself to be able to move myself, be able to address the guilt, see what judgements of myself I have accepted and allowed as real, and what judgements of myself have in fact been real in relation to what is best for me in support of me and of others. Therefore in audacity, I can use audacity to support me, in a moment of following the audacity pattern, instead I lead myself, I take a breath, I stabilize myself. In breath here I lead myself in life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit and confine ‘audacity’ within having defined the word in judgement, and through this, seen it as an expression of spite or anger only. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition the word audacity with my relationship experience and blame towards and as the energies that arise within me.

 

I commit myself to realign ‘audacity’ with physical reality in which the simple boldness of a gesture comes from a starting point of trust in self as life, in support of life. I commit myself to realign ‘audacity’ with simple movement of the body in the flow of breath and life that is without regard to the systems of the mind control, such as stepping through the fear.

 

continuing… 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 238: Future Hope Displacement

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation  •  Desteni.org  • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights    Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

 

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Day 238: Continuation of: Realising and living my utmost potential (1)

 

Here in this post I explore some of the issues of self sabotage that I have accepted and allowed within the principle of realizing and living my utmost potential – in which I have projected an idea of myself into a future where I believe I am already living it. By ‘Exploring these issues’ I mean also at the same time, directing them towards and in line with life as what is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have existed as a personality in which I have animated and embodied a ‘future’ image of myself in my mind – and then in the physical world from this made reference to who I am as according to my intentions and plans– I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived for and as an experience of positive energy, not here, and not anywhere really but as a hope filled fiction of what I may be or might be or possibly become, and within this ‘may’ or ‘might’ be, positive appraisals of myself as becoming one and equal to what believe I should be, or believe I am expected to be, rather than learning how to live self forgiveness in my breath here and walk in patience the points in which I see and realize and understand that I have within them aligned myself into and as the energy rather than the physical reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this personality react with impatience towards the actual real pace of changing the points within the physical, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within this that who I am within and as this personality is capable of instant change and adjustment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have utilized the energy of hope as a transitional vehicle to make a shift out of a bad feeling and into a good feeling, rather than self honestly looking at the nature of the bad feeling and seeing what its contents are, and simply walking change. Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I may or might experience through looking at the bad feeling.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to these good feeling as ‘me’, that I have therefore sought out methods of creating or initiating bad feelings in myself so as to generate this hope, and thence maintain the good feeling experience.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to established methods of dealing with or coping with or managing my energy reality, that I have accepted and allowed the automation of such things to the extent where I am kind of bemused or upset when a vicious backchat comes up in my mind carrying the words that, having been tested over and over again, will guarantee a bad experience of myself, like a short sharp shock that will in the course of events lead me back to hope, and back to the future.

 

The mergence of hope energy into the word future is complete, because how can hope exist without a future, and since the nature of hope energy is positive, a construct in my mind of ‘the future’ has become conditioned by this hope. The nature of a future in which somehow everything has become ‘alright’, in which the present reality has been transcended, without the work or effort towards it, is magical. And here is a projected reality in which ‘everything is alright’ simply according to a feeling experience in my mind without a reference to what is actually taking place as me in physical reality.

 

Okay so I am writing-on here, because I see realise and understand how that which I ‘might’ or ‘may’ write within my mind can only come from this imaginary placement of me from within and out of this future vision of me – where in actual reality this image of my future as who I am is far and far away from where I actually really in fact am – where having been shown the information, I have just absorbed it and integrated it in and as my mind and not walked through it for myself, but skipped that part, so that experiencing myself in physical reality interacting with the people in the world, and seeing myself in reaction to it, and to them, then I have gone into an experience of disappointment with myself, that I see myself as less than what I hoped myself to be. And so within this delivered myself into the programming of not-good-enough for me. Why delivery – because the experience that I have accepted and allowed within who I am as not-good-enough is a bad feeling – and according to this system design, just as the vicious backchat, a component in the hope and future cycle in which I eventually sign back into this suspension, or procrastination of my own reality.

 

There is another component to this system, which is self pity. When I lay self pity energy beside the energy of hope, they seem quite similar, they are both kind of positive and transitional, so that accepting and allowing a suddenly harsh self judgement as real, I have accepted and allowed the self pity comforting experience to bring me down, to hold me to embrace me, and within that ‘down’ experience, to foster hope.

 

This is where I find myself as lagging behind my self-process, somehow futuristically caught up into a reluctance to step into that which I really am here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to merge the future as a simple physical time space potentiality with an emotional experience of hope, as an aspect or zone of consciousness, in which I experience as me an imagined or idealized version of who I am. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an emotional experience within the world of my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to ‘utmost potentiality’, and for within that to impose a limitation on myself and within that to become a personality of limitation.

 

I commit myself to see realize and understand that ‘utmost potentiality’ is simply what it is, nothing more and nothing less, it has no charge, it is a simple unfoldment of a seed into what it may become – therefore I commit myself to take responsibility for my unfoldment of me.

 

 

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Day 217: The Word Exigency

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation  •  Desteni.org  •  Equalmoney.org 

See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights

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My house is in such a mess, chaos has accumulated again, and now it has got to the point and beyond it where the chaos has become an obstruction and space in which to move has become limited, and movement itself has become cluttered and slow. These points are reflections of stuff going on within me.

 

Right at this moment, Oh my God, etc, I’ve got to get some money, backchat: so it’s ok to let things slide a bit, leave them till later, they don’t matter so much…don’t worry about that, but worry about this… I’ve got to get myself moving…

 

This blog is part of my process of assisting and supporting myself to tidy up, organize and sort out, clarify understand and change my life and living relationship to myself. In this post I explore specifically the word Exigency as I have personally defined it, and look at what have been the effects of it.

 

Exigency: system definition: an urgent need or demand. Exigent: pressing.

Exigencies come up as the consequence of procrastination, where things that are here to be addressed in this moment have been neglected and ignored. Hence I end up where I am, surrounded by instances of procrastination and neglect, objects not tidied up or ordered, instances of justification of there being ‘more important’ things to do in that moment.

 

Right now it seems the point is the judgement of the value of my available time, where I have become possessed by this judgemental personality, which has come in like the emergency services, defining the relevance of this that and the other for me, and as me, or me as, or me standing for immediate judgements and quick decisions. Procrastination leads inevitably to emergencies where what has emerged is the need for hurry, the need for realisations of urgency, the acceptance of pressure. Within this I have been using anxiety as an adrenalized fix to get me moving, and to funnel myself into this personality of exigencies. And in a mind state of possession I have accepted and allowed this judgement to take over walking process itself, where I am judging the importance or relevance or value of points, and whether or not to leave points aside to be dealt with or investigated later. This is the real internal mess that I have got myself into. And the points accumulate into piles and it is only a fantasy that I can deal with all of them later, and it all becomes overwhelming and I go into the experience of too much and too late. And then in relationship to this as a consequence I blame it and use it as a justification for giving up in this moment, as a justification for shifting into hope, and waiting for the turbulence to pass.

 

In my life, my relationship to physical movement has been one of reluctance, that is accepting and allowing who I am as a judgement of the value of moving physically, that in the decision of taking action, then I’d rather not. This is another one of those wtf sort of relationships, considering that I am here for this short time, in the physical dimension.

 

The Life Review, 129, Facing the Experience of Depression, opened up some questions for me to look into, and to consider whether or not this word ‘depression’ is something that I have lived – because I see this heaviness, the weighted experience of the physical, the pressure, the floating experience within the body, and the withdrawal deeper and deeper into myself , as described in the interview, all as recognizable factors in my life experience, not only that, but I have also found useful the remedies this being found to assist and support himself in going into movement, such as shaking the hands and shoulders, standing up. In addition to this I have recently discovered that running cold water over the backs of my hands has been supportive in finding my physical stability again and coming out of the other energetic floaty separated sort of stability in which I am in fact really nowhere, and nothing happens.

 

The personality of obsession is based upon a mental relationship to some task in hand – and a fear of letting go – that if I do not cling to my involvement in it then it will be lost – and there is a judgement in it of value, that only this matters, that it’s ok to neglect all other things. Here is living out ‘exigency’. Within ‘exigency’ I have accepted and allowed a perspective in which there has to be a list of ‘most important things to do’, with only one thing on it, which leads me into the consequence of everything neglected laid aside, and confused.

 

When I first encountered the word exigent, it was in my early teens, I had to look it up in a dictionary, the context was Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar (Act5, Scene1), where, on the brink of battle, there arises friction of points of view between the generals – Octavius is questioning Anthony’s orders – and Anthony replies, “Why do you cross me in this exigent?”

 

It seemed to me then that the definition of this situation as being an ‘exigent’ justified the unquestionability of Anthony’s decision – that on the brink of battle, the authority of the leader must be absolute, that accepting doubt into this situation could be disastrous. This was the context in which I absorbed the word into my consciousness, wrapped in the royal purples of Roman Imperialism, highlighted by Shakespearian rhetoric. It is easy to see, looking at this now, that what is missing is a reference to the physical reality (within the context of the play) that in the context of the fact of armies of human beings about to slaughter each other, according to the orders of their leaders, that what was most important at this vital stage, was to not question what was going on within Anthony’s mind, regardless of the energy dynamics of power and ego and vengeance that were possessing him. In this scene he states quite clearly that he is basing his decisions on the idea in his mind that he ‘knows’ what is going on in the minds of others, and it seems as if his anger/blame reaction toward Octavius is from the starting-point of protecting and defending himself from seeing and realizing his paranoia.

 

So, to purify this word ‘exigent’, and hence ‘exigency’, to release from it the energy connections that I have accepted and allowed myself to store within this word, including the belief that ‘importance’ lays within the province and perspectives of the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to store this word within my memory as energized by my experience in which I first absorbed it into me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this word to exist within me, separated from a reference to common sense, where I have accepted and allowed orders of importance as constructs of the mind and values of energy. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this word ‘exigent’ as a personality within me to act for me, to become as a trigger for me to shift into separation from myself as an energy of mind-authority, as the decision maker in emergency, and urgency. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to question the authority of the mind and to justify this relationship of inferiority towards superiority within who I have accepted and allowed myself to be within and as the word ‘exigency’.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this word exigency as I have defined it stored it experienced it and become it to be as a trigger of self sabotage in which I have accepted and allowed myself to shift into the mind and to allow it to take control, to make decisions, to decree the orders of importance of things that should be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to others in using the word exigency, as if in using the word I am also scoring points and winning, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within this posture of superiority, that therefore what I see within and as my mind as ‘exigent’ is right. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that from the mind elevation of superiority I have a ‘better’ view of things.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘empowered’ in sounding the word ‘exigency’, and for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘power’ in terms of energy, and hence within who I am as ‘empowered’ to accept and allow myself as energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘exigency’ to positive energy, and then to experience this word as positive energy. Hence, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘like’ the experience of myself within the word ‘exigency’, within which ‘liking/not liking dynamic I have accepted and allowed myself to make a personality out of who I am as an energy relationship to words.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chose to use words on the basis of my reactions to them, in ‘liking’ them, or not using them in ‘not liking’ them, and for not allowing myself to see realise and understand that in utilizing language thus, that I am utilizing language to experience myself as positive or more energy, rather than to simply communicate with others. Within this I forgive myself that I have shaped communication with others according to to how I experience myself within what I am communicating and for not seeing realizing and understanding that thus I have limited communication within the bounds of my experience of myself as energy.

 

I commit myself to purify this word ‘exigency’ so that it no longer holds contained within it decisions of who I am as energy. I commit myself to simplify this word, to let go of and release these constructs of energy dynamics that I have attached to it and accumulated within it, and in sounding the word, accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by this energy by these constructs as a personality of the mind, so that in using this word I have accepted and allowed myself to be enslaved to it, entrapped and locked into my mind.

Back to the system definition: Exigency: an urgent need or demand. Exigent: pressing.

 

There are things that are here in this moment that I need to address, that need to be done, in physical reality, in common sense, what is here to be done is ‘pressing’, it is here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trigger going into energy in this situation, with the notion in my mind of ‘exigencies’ because I now see and realize and understand how it is that I have substantiated this word, the nature of the ‘spell’ that I have put into these symbols, and within that, how I have shifted from being here into this charged up mental state of being, through which I have become separated from what is here, and formed relationships to what is here as personalities.

 

I forgive myself that through this word that I have abdicated from authority as this physical breath of self here, into a ‘position’ of taking ‘charge’ of the situation as a mind.

 

 

 

 

Follow these online blogs:

Heaven’s Journey To Life:  Day 439: Fear of Commitment

Creation’s Journey to Life:  Day 483: The End of Self-Awareness – Part 1

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

EQAFE:

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Day 200: Running from Reality

 

Backchat : What’s wrong with running away from reality?

 

This line of backchat came popping up into my mind as I was reading through a Journey to Life blog post about procrastination I take it to be as a self righteous protection and defence of the procrastination character.

It’s a tricksy question, because it implies that if there is nothing ‘wrong’, then hope can be established (made ‘real’) in it being ok. So here within this point, a self manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself with using the word ‘wrong’ deliberately as a point that can be dismissed so as to establish proof of righteousness in the equations of my mind that it could then be justified and ok and excusable to be running from reality, if ‘only just for now’ in the context of procrastination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify and validate a fear within this statement specifically within the word ‘running’, in which I make an implication of something coming after me within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have within this statement accepted and allowed myself to define reality as something separate from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within this statement to define myself as superior within being as my own god in defining reality itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as less than this reality, while at the same time superior in that I can choose to live within a justification of running away from it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise and understand the multiple insanities in such a backchat statement, but that instead I have simply let it exist within and as me as a statement that is presented to myself as an answered question.

I forgive myself that I have within this backchat statement accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am the reality from which I run.

I forgive myself that I have within this backchat statement accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am justifying and validating a fear of my own experience of myself, in which rather than facing the reality of what it is that I am accepting and allowing as who I am, I have chosen to justify my fear and go into the experience of energy as hope within my mind and my imagination where in an alternative reality apparently I can escape from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise and understand and recognize this backchat statement as an element of mind control through which I have accepted and allowed myself as superior within an accumulation of energy in service of this consciousness as the energy authority of me.

I forgive myself that in this backchat statement that I have accepted and allowed myself justify myself as consequence of energy reaction, and as self righteousness within rejection of my reality in this existence which is as self responsibility in who I am and who I have become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see in this backchat statement, that it is also part of an internal conversion in which I am being questioned, and that in my defensiveness I have interpreted in my mind as criticism or judgement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a question arising in myself as an attack on me, from which I have accepted and allowed myself essentially to stand up for me as my fears of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to store this backchat statement/internal conversation retort/answer back within me and as part of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to point a finger of blame towards an imaginary questioner of who and what I am allowing myself to be. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to score again in winning as self righteousness against the voices of judgement. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards my own self judgements in being ‘wrong’. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my judgements of myself so as not to listen to the question in and of my mind that obviously there is a problem here in that I am accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is possible to escape the consequence of me. 

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in hope that I can have an alternative existence that is without consequence. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust this hope. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand up for and defend this hope in reaction games within my mind. Within all this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not notice that I have become possessed by energy within these distractions and that meanwhile who I am that is real remains not faced, not understood and so as unresolvable within the conflicts of my mind.

I commit myself to remove this backchat statement from my mind as part of the character of procrastination, and as the initiating trigger for a character of ‘life should be fun’.

 

 

 

 

New Interviews: Sunette Spies: 

Day 343 The meaning of Self –for-Gifting/Giving Life pt 1

Day 344 The meaning of Self- for-Gifting/Giving Life part 2

 

Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World

 

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation

 

NEW

the FREE DIP LITE Course now available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

 

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com

Day 155: Do I fight myself or give in?

Continuation from previous posts. 

I am walking the Dimensions of the Postponement Personality ( starting at Day 139 ) and also exploring related points and personalities as they come up along the way.

For further context on the Backchat Dimension, see Heaven’s Journey to Life, Days 167168169

 

The postponement personality: some more back chat/internal conversation/double think

 

With this task/responsibility/commitment before me,

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enter into/listen to an internal conversation question loop: do I fight myself or give in, do I fight myself or give in, do I fight myself or give in?

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see that I have become distracted by two conflicting choices, both equally unreal. I stop, I breathe. And it’s as if there is this rush on, that I have to, must, decide right now.

 

I breathe, I slow myself down. I do not have to put myself into this situation. What is this fear that makes for such a hurry? What is this inferiority that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in both cases, whether I fight or whether I resign? I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in this game of energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so distracted that I am no longer even focused on the task before me but instead I am considering how to manage this energy so that I can feel better about myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider making a stand against futility in which already I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this futility is real.

 

I commit myself to stop these unrealities such as this internal conversation in my mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and be directed by.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give such power away to these scripts that I have written and compiled that when I see or sense or become aware in some way that the pattern is beginning to unroll, then I go into fear, rather than to stay with myself as breathing here and look at what precisely is this pattern that I have written for and as myself that obviously I now need to change and realign, so that simply I can direct myself and attend instead to physical reality.

 

 

 continuing next post…

 

 

  

NEW

the FREE DIP LITE Course now available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

 

Changing the Character of the World

 

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com

 

Day 153: Postponement and Laziness

 

Walking the Dimensions of the Postponement Personality

Continuation from previous posts, starting at Day 139 

 

 

Up comes the issue of laziness, this personality as lazy, a direct relation of postponement, or part of it, extending from it. This is what I have been facing the last few days, going into confusion experiences in my mind, as mixtures of realizations and self-judgements, leading into backchat such as, I cannot see this clearly now, (and within that, I need to see this clearly in my mind before I write it out…) I will wait till later… Here the deconstruction of how I have been living and embodying the postponement personality reaches to a new point of exposure, like as if it is a last refuge, in which I see a picture of myself as hiding from and in my own investigation, as if the fact of my own laziness has nothing at all to do with my decisions of postponement, like as if this one belongs in a different department, one that I will come to ‘later’.

 

Laziness, as in unwillingness to work.

 

Defined as such this is a relationship that I have accepted and allowed of mind as energy directing and controlling physical effort. So I start my self forgiveness process in my acceptance and allowance of ‘reward’, as I see how I have accepted ‘reward’ as a condition for physical effort.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my experience of myself is caused by others, rather than seeing and realizing and understanding that my experience of myself has always been according to what I have accepted and allowed within and as myself, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through this belief, come to believe that I need to get a positive energy experience as a reward ‘from’ others for work done in the form of approval, or acknowledgement, or gratitude, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not giving to me this positive experience of myself that I expect from them in my belief that my experience of myself is not my own responsibility.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to have and be this positive experience of energy as myself, rather than seeing and realizing that simply I am here and that I do not need or require to live within these positive judgements of energy experience that arise within myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become accustomed to, and to depend upon and become addicted to these accumulations of soft energy as comfortable feeling experiences inside myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define lazy with a positive energy attachment, as in being ‘laid-back’, and ‘free-from-stress’, ‘easy-going’, ‘cool’, ‘getting away with it’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and live and embody a lazy character or personality with these attributes to represent its positive polarity, and to have used this personality in conjunction with the postponement personality through which I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on efforts to direct myself and to justify myself within repeated positive energy experience as the lazy option that I have given to myself and programmed into my physical rather than to stand up within uncomfortability and simply difference and walking myself through fear of change.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in a negative way for the laziness I have accepted and allowed myself to live and embody as this character through which I have accepted and allowed myself to hide and suppress this negative experience of myself and to feel shame about who I have accepted myself to be within deliberately ignoring and denying my responsibility to myself and others by not moving myself at all but physically doing nothing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in a negative way for the superiority and arrogance that I have assumed in relationship with others in my world and my reality, within which I have secretly claimed to be ‘above all that’ such as participating in what needs to be done and so have acted out in spite, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame about who I have accepted and allowed myself to be in laziness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tolerate this shame that I have accepted and allowed rather than to see and realize that this shame is there because I have lived and embodied this character in support of a relationship of superiority to others and of separation to myself my world and my reality and that I can remove this experience of shame and this character of laziness by realigning my relationships that I have made to equality with others.

 

I see and realize and understand that this laziness in someway overlaps or shares the physical dimensions of postponement, where in a moment of postponement, I allow the lazy personality to assert its positive polarity and through this I have accepted and allowed myself to not move directly to the task that is before me but instead to revert into this coziness of comfortability within my mind, where I do not move my body.

 

I commit myself to deconstruct this laziness that I have accepted and allowed that has developed and evolved and become an addiction through my continual postponement and procrastination, and I commit myself to realign my actual physical movement in physical space as a physical effort towards what is best for all, and within that what is best for me, rather than this limitation and reluctance that I have self imposed to only move myself in relationship to energy rewards.

 

 

 

  

NEW

Investigate the FREE DIP LITE Course now available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

Changing the Character of the World

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com

Day 152: Postponement of Responsibility

 

Walking the Dimensions of the Postponement Personality

Continuation from previous posts, starting at Day 139 

 

Backchat Dimension:

I don’t feel like doing this (work) right now

 

The pattern of postponement that I have accepted to play out has its starting point in my relationship to ‘responsibility’ that I have energized within my mind and charged as negative experience to avoid, and through this I have been moved towards the positive experience to have right now, and essentially to stay within and as this energy awareness as the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I had not allowed myself to see and realize and understand how it was that I had come to define and to live responsibility as a separated relationship within what I had allowed myself to be as a system of energy, as a negative as in my relationship to work-for-money and as what must be done in order to survive, and for within that to have built a personality around the reaction that I had accepted and allowed as an evidence of truth within me and for not seeing and realizing that this denial of responsibility as I had defined it from a starting point of self interest had been a denial of who I am as a physical being within and as the physical as what is really here. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define responsibility according to self interest.

 

I forgive myself that I had not accepted or allowed myself to see the plain example of this my physical body that supports my living breath as a system of oneness and equality in which every part of it fulfills responsibilities to every other part in every moment as what is best for all. I commit myself to see and realize and understand my location here is as a cell within the body of humanity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical living of this my human body through becoming as an energy experience of inequality and superiority to this life by accepting and allowing myself to define this responsibility as life according to the limits of this energy experience in which I accepted and allowed myself to define this life as my responsibility to all as something negative and as a choice that I could make, not realizing how within commitment to this choice I had accepted and allowed my abdication from life itself and from the physical.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that my experience of me as life was in my feelings and emotions, and that my reality was evident in my reactions through which beliefs I have accepted and allowed myself to build up and be directed by characters of energy that are based on retaliation and denial of what is here, such as this character of postponement, which is only in support of more of me as this energy experience that I have accepted and allowed as me.

 

I forgive myself that I have utilized this energy experience to define reality in separation from myself through which I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my awareness to a perspective of existence through self-interest.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look upon this task before me of writing out myself into the physical, and then to allow myself to participate with this thought that this responsibility that I have here is actually how I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘responsibility’ in my mind as ‘work’ and as a negative experience through which I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself into justifying myself to postpone my own responsibility as who I am in order to preserve and continue in and as this character of energy experience that I have accepted and allowed as me.

 

I commit myself to see and realize and understand the drastic nature of this decision that I have made to define the word responsibility as energy in separation from myself as life, that in my arrogance as a system of the mind that I have deliberately rejected the principle of life, and my actual function in equality and oneness.

 

I commit myself to see and realize and understand the urgency of the situationthat we have come to this juncture in existence where all life forms and everything depends upon the human beings seeing realizing and understanding what has been going on and how we have separated ourselves from life and how to take back our self direction as who we are as life, and taking up within and as this life our responsibilities to ourselves and to each other as ourselves, our world our whole ecosystem that supports our very existence in this world. As such I commit myself to this task of writing out this system of the mind which is shared by all into physical reality in the realization that it is only through this that it may be changed.

 

 

 

  

NEW

Investigate the FREE DIP LITE Course now available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

Changing the Character of the World

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com

Day 150: Postponement and Positive Energy Temptation

Walking the Dimensions of the Postponement Personality

Continuation from previous posts, starting at Day 139 

 

For further context on the Backchat Dimension, see Heaven’s Journey to Life, Days 167168169

 

Postponement and Positive Energy Temptation

 

 

 

What is this situation all about when in postponement processes I seek out images of myself to fulfill as a positive energy experience that I could give myself to consume right now, rather than the simplicity of being Here with myself in physical reality?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to expose to me the reality of myself  and for not seeing realizing and understanding that this fear has been created by me for the purpose of protecting my beliefs in who I am according to my negative self judgements.

 

Over and over again looking into the mirror of my face or of a reflection in my mind as a memory or of a converted memory into some imagining, or listening to some backchat, or some internal dialogue or gossip in my mind, and finding in there always something disappointing, or repulsive, or unacceptable in some way, something lacking, or some horrid revelation or realization, like endlessly entertaining ways and routes towards this exact same self-rejection, condemnation, shame, and every time I fell for it, believing in these thoughts apparently so various that came up in my mind, that they were true, not realizing that within all this that this was so because it was into this savage perception of myself that I had put my trust, standing alone and eagle eyed within my mind, in which I had actually become severity itself, devoid of sympathy or mercy. And so I had become accustomed to being torn to shreds and cut down and my self torture had become as normal, routine, and within normality, and it had become kind of distant and automated, and after that required just memos and reminders and hints, to deliver up the exact same pound of flesh.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to understand how this impulse to feel better, good, more comfortable in who and how I am comes out of this substance of myself that I have programmed into me as this bad experience of myself in and as my own accepted negative self-judgement.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see or realize or understand that none of this had been me here in physical reality or as life in awareness of myself within my physical breath, but only in and as the mind as a process of energy extraction, and further evolution of this consciousness to the conditioning of the physical for consumption.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this process as normal in the context of familiarity and what I know of how I am that I am drawn within myself as if by magnetism into this negativity experience of myself through which I come back up in and as the mind as good and righteous and honest and in humility about my failings while in absolute denial about my darkest sins.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to this experience of energy of and as myself as positive self judgement and for not allowing myself to see and realize the possibility that I am simply Here, and that I do not need or require this positive assessment of myself according to my own best judgement as the mind because the negative assessment of myself does not reflect my physical reality but only single points about myself that I have judged and feared and felt angry in and at myself towards and then hidden away in secret so that no one will ever find out who I really am.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see this thought or energy arise within these dimensions of fear and backchat and imagination to stop immediately and come back here to me deliberately breathing in this physical reality, I see and realize and understand the direction that these thoughts will lead me, and I do not accept this or allow this any more, I will not participate, I will not feed this negative experience of myself, and I do not accept this process of becoming this experience of myself as a positive reflection in my mind.

 

 

 

  

NEW

The  DIP LITE Course now available to All  –FREE- simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

Changing the Character of the World

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com

Day 149: BackChat: ‘this is SO important’

 

Walking the Dimensions of the Postponement Personality

Continuation from previous posts, starting at Day 139 

 

For further context on the Backchat Dimension, see Heaven’s Journey to Life, Days 167168169

 

… ‘this is SO important’

 

Going into the polarity of ‘it doesn’t matter’ backchat judgement into this is such an important point that I have to be absolutely clear and cool and totally ready to take it on, and obviously I am not these things, so I can do it later!

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this point that has come up here as being so important that I must give to it very much thought and scrutiny and figuring out in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this point that has come up here as being so important that I see myself as less than it and fear that I am not going to be able to walk through it like any other point.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through judgement as the mind to separate myself from this point and not allow myself to see it in and as myself as who I am within this point, but to instead see it at a distance and measure it according to the values of my mind as ‘It is so important’ or as ‘ It doesn’t matter’. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that I have an overview of all the points I have to face, within which I assume that I already know the process that I have to walk, and so am in a superior position to teach myself and guide myself and give myself advice about what points to choose and what points to ignore and what points I must prepare myself to face.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into this pattern where I judge a point as so important and vital to be looked at, that then I think and think and think and then become confused and overwhelmed and then the backchat comes up, ‘I feel tired’, and I accept this thought as ‘me’, so rather than returning in to me as Here in breath, I follow the postponement.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this point as ‘so important’, and for not realizing that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach in emotions of fear and feelings of excitement to ‘importance’ with the consequence that I do not see the point at all but only my relationship towards it which is energy.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the evaluations of the mind rather than to trust myself and to stay with myself here in breath, just walking it without recourse to energy, in which I have accepted and allowed myself to make a new relationship of me towards the point, in which the point has now become my reactions to myself in seeing a point, and then my reactions to my reactions in seeing myself, accumulating into total mind-possession and confusion, and then to giving up.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a point that I have seen within me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear simply looking at a relationship that I have accepted and allowed within me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by this energy experience of fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see the reality of what I have accepted and allowed, through the means of simply writing down what is here before me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see the simplicity of my self-dishonesty I have accepted and allowed, within which I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see that there is no way that I can avoid to face myself in and as my responsibility within what I have accepted and allowed.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand in judgement of my self-dishonesty, in which I have accepted and allowed myself to define my separation from myself as ‘bad’ and therefore something that should be concealed and hidden, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my very separation of myself, within a relationship that I have made in essentially hiding myself within a definition of myself in being this judgement of myself as ‘good’ and superior in judging me as ‘bad’.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an idea of myself in conflict with myself without any reference to physical reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘good’ within my patterns of self-judgement.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in seeing and realising this polarity game that I have lived, this pattern of reverting constantly into and as a negative self-judgement as a negative experience of myself, that I then go into a positive experience that I have made as being ‘good’ and ‘righteous’ in condemning me, that in realizing this I have reacted to this realization within and as this pattern, by leaping up to beat myself up about what I have done, rather than to simply walk these points of what I have accepted and allowed as who I am and to forgive myself and to correct myself and realign these relationships that I have made so that they are no longer relationships of energy in secrecy that control my actions and that justify this righteousness as in being enslaved to them as a victim that is in fact the victimizer of myself, that I have accepted and allowed as who I am, but are exposed and realigned to equality and oneness and what is best for all.

 

 

 

 

In relation to this post: definitely see Heaven’s Journey to Life –Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing

 

 

 

  

NEW

Investigate the FREE DIP LITE Course now available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

Changing the Character of the World

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com