Day 458: Play within Communication

Day 458: Play within Communication

 

What sort of images come up with the word Play: for me what comes up first are the interactions of children, with each other, with their toys; and then there is the play of Players as free-agents within the structure of a game; theatrical connotations; leisure; entertainment; coming into play, there is the playing out, the playing down, the playing along, the playing up… so much of it to do with games and gamesmanship, activities of ‘leisure’ as opposed to ‘work’, and within ‘work’ defined as a negative, so ‘play’ promoted as a positive.

So like seemingly implied in this, a mass of information about the energies within the word, how it functions in the system, and I was bedazzled by it all, in a kind of righteousness that seeing all this, I already ‘know’ what play is, so what more could I possibly find within it, and in that I did not recognize the resistance that was in me.

But now looking at the word again, this time not as something that ‘I know all about’, am ‘familiar with’, and therefore do not need to redefine it, but instead to see this word in a different way, not as a piece of knowledge and information only, but to see as well that this ‘knowing’ experience, this ‘familiarity’, represents the programming within this word, that I have accepted and allowed, and so come to trust, and that trusting of these programs is the source of confidence with which I tell myself I ‘know’ this word, and therefore do not need to spend more time on it.

How much the potential of a word is, call it crucified – as an image of the life within it, nailed upon the grid lines of the programming – within the ideas and beliefs that seem to fill it out and make it so convincing, so simplified and obvious and everyday, and yet trusting and believing in and following those grid lines only lead back to the starting-point of who I am, as convinced, as knowing, while the potential of the word is overlooked. Or else sometimes like with this, I inadvertently touched on something real, and there’s a reaction in the mind, a withdrawal really, a contraction; the hypnosis levels escalate, with the magnetism of the entertainments, the emergence of distractions even more compelling; all the various scripts that lead to Therefore Take No Action, these are like the roads to Rome.

That’s what happened to me in a way, I looked into the word and it was like a Holy Shit type moment, of seeing something there within the depths of it, and then all of a sudden I was wanting to watch some film, a series, do something else, take a break; and even though I knew that I was in extreme resistance, it did not help; because that relationship to resistance in which recognizing the experience of it, is really just recognizing me in my acceptance of it, that within and as it, I recognize myself as this giving up experience, and then label that ‘resistance.’ So within that I really disempowered myself, and within and as that disempowerment I became just merely witnessing it all. So I watched a film, and took a break and then this morning finally got back to it. Although I let this happen, still there is a steadfast trust in me I am gradually developing, and strengthening; that I will get back to it, that though I still respond to backchat such as you can’t do this, it won’t lead anywhere, it’s a waste of time, it’s kind of wearing thin. So even though I’m swept away and fall within this energy, I do get up again. So yes in redefining words there can be that startling moment in which the ground of the world shifts slightly, and there is a realization that the programs and projections that I’d been living as a word had been so severely limited, and yet at the same time I had experienced as so complete, and that it had been in that experience of completeness that I’d placed my trust.

But anyway what of that Holy Shit type moment? Imagine that you’d spent your days on Earth in front of a TV series, and the word Life had been written plain in every episode you’d seen, like a little picture of some goings-on, until one day you’d looked into this word and suddenly suspected that all the time that little picture had been surrounded by a world, only that world was impossible to see, impossible to grasp because every reference that you had to it was contained within that little picture, within the terms of it, and so what was the residual of that suspicion, but an overwhelming sense of something missing, and what exists within a sense of something missing, but the thing itself, something on the very brink of tangibility, something real, that matters.

That was something like that Holy Shit moment; a fear, that deep within this word Play for me was something of great seriousness, some essential part of me that I had missed, something Real about the way I’d lived this word, and yet not seen: what was it that even in this redefinition process that could have struck such a serious chord, the realization that beneath the programmed surfaces of fun and games, there lay a fact. And when I looked through what I’d written out I realized that the word Trust coming up for me in this context was what it was.

What the word Play represented for me as a child, which was like a creative space, a process of discovery; with my brother I would move from this to that, using whatever was at hand to ply into whatever current story we were living out, or adventure we were in, while an interruption of any kind thrown up by the circumstance of physical reality was simply taken in, adapted to and absorbed into what we were doing. Imagination and action would initiate each other in the service of the present moment, and within all of this there was a natural flexibility. So, creative space, discovery, imagination, invention, action, present, flexibility: words that I may not have known at the time but yet were already like components of what I lived within our Play: as well as this, the Play itself was also communication, and as well, collaboration.

So looking at this memory of childhood play, I could describe it as participating in a collaborative communication dialogue, in which the goal was not a fixture, but constantly changing and shifting according to what had been established in the present moment; it was like an ever branching process of discovery and invention, that was the process that I meant within the words: Let’s play…

And yet writing this and sleeping on it too, I realise as well, that these words discovery, imagination, invention were more like expressions of myself; it was more that in Play I felt free to express these parts of me, so that what defined the play itself was the presence of trust in our communications and our collaborations. This brings up the question for me of how and to what extent later in my life, with the acceptance of this absence I then defined communication itself and lived it thus, or at least had expectations of communication that had no element of play, and then come to see play itself as separate to communication. There is that ripple effect in redefining words because the words are all defined within the matrix of each other.

In a relationship between two friends, where there has been a tiff, the word exchange becomes more formal, guarded, and it takes time to heal that trust that had been simply there before; where there had been those unpredictable creations and discoveries, there are instead, unchallengeable assertions, back-ups, statements of fact, risk assessments, the world of the relationship becomes more stark; instead of being an end within itself, communication now requires a reason, and has a goal and aim, and the words themselves are depended on as programs and projections only. As in the aftermath of the tiff between two friends, where the fabric of communication has been torn, there is that dissonance that interrupted flow, there is no play, that’s like where we fall back on the mind to somehow, create communication, because we’ve lost our way in being it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that communication could still be real in a world in which my trust of me was only tenuous.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could somehow get by in a world in which my expression of myself depended on relationships with others, in which I defined my trust of me according to their trust. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become disempowered in relationships in which each one’s trust of self depended on the other; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my trust of me within and as expression of myself was an expendable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my lack of trust for me in expression of myself was something that I could do nothing about, because I did not trust myself, rather than seeing realizing and understanding that trusting me was a thing that I could learn, something I would want to learn for me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on me in doing something for me in support of me in my lack of trust in me in self expression.

Great support for me in opening up this relationship between Play and Communication has been, Veno, in Wanting to Know before you Start, Journeys into the Afterlife: “And that’s another interesting point to have a look at… in your relationship to your mind, in that blind trust that you have with it, in not really asserting your authority in speaking up and standing up for yourself in your awareness more, in relation to your mind – in what you are going to accept and what not – but to start creating a new trust with yourself, with your awareness. And that new trust is going to come through your application as reality unfolds, as your life and moments open up, by your actions, by your doings: that’s the new trust that you need to start creating. That yes you are not always going to know what is going to open up; you’ve got a general idea, but there is always so much more that will open up both inside yourself and life as you allow it to unfold as fact. Then assess and reassess and adjust as you go. That’s the new way of creation that’s going to happen.”

 

 

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Day 258: Trust – Word Sweep

 

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Day 258: Trust – Word Sweep

 

Okay so, a backchat of not ‘trusting’ words that rise from seeming ‘uncertain’ depths into the surface… seeing and realising that the central word within this backchat is ‘trust’ as the trigger of a judgement, one that I have accepted and allowed, where the words that are written, I have then reacted to, and then believed somehow that they reflect an illusion of myself – as filtered through the ‘mind’ – as bad, as a sign of self-dishonesty as bad, and then go into a belief that I am ‘right’ to not trust this, therefore I am in ‘control’ of this – there is fear of trusting an illusion – specifically: fear of exposing who I am as an illusion that I have secretly trusted in, operated through, and as.

 

Here is an example of who I am as less than, within the word ‘trust’ – there is a feeling in it of being fooled, of being let down, of a bubble popped – all of these as forms of blame.

 

‘Trust’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and then live the word trust with connection to emotional and feeling energy. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to self honestly look inside this word so as to see what I have accepted and allowed this word to be.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I may possibly see when I look inside this word trust and see how I have used it, how I have lived it. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the word trust to become a trigger point in a line of backchat. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the line ‘I don’t trust this’ to exist within me, for me to believe in it, as who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question what this ‘trust’ consists of as a trigger of judgement and censoring and self suppression and separation from myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the word ‘trust’ as a disaster, and for not allowing myself to see that it is how I have defined this word and lived it, that has lead me to this point of disaster and dis-illusion.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in regret for lost illusion. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to utilize this regret in my commitment to not do that again, to not go into and live as a belief of who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the word ‘doubt’ to exist as a polarity within ‘trust’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ‘doubt’ and ‘trust’ within a protocol of ‘belief’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a protocol of belief as the way to live this physical life.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see the arrogance of belief itself, that who I am in acceptance of this is as a god within my mind, as an arbitrator of the truth of things. I forgive myself that I have given my self-authority into and as this perspective in my mind where I have accepted and allowed for me to become a relationship as less than it. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger towards myself in being made into a fool, in having fooled myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself the space to see realize and understand that this anger is towards myself in accepting and allowing a definition of myself in absolute as ‘a fool’ rather than allowing myself to see realize and understand that I have made decisions in mistake. Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through the channel of this word ‘trust’ to have constricted myself through judgement into a definition of myself as a fool, as a judgemental closed box, as a definition of myself that has removed the possibility of solution. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed through these means to have justified myself in giving up.

 

I commit myself to clarify the word ‘trust’, to clear it of these energy equations that I have accepted and allowed myself to wire into it, and through that, into me. I commit myself to as and when the word ‘trust’ comes into my awareness, to stop and breathe and assess self honestly what it is that this word carries, what it means, who I am in meaning this. I commit myself to substantiate this word ‘trust’ with my furthering cross-reference with myself here in the physical, to in fact take this word back to me and through me as a word that I can live without self sabotage, without self conflict.

 

 

 

 

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EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start-http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation • Desteni.org • See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of RightsLiving Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

Day 230: Real Power

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation  •  Desteni.org  • 

See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights

Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

 

 

 

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Day 230: Real Power

 

Continuing from the previous post:

 

Here doing some more investigation with me in support of me into the words and reactions that are the active components of the issue of disempowerment.

 

Releasing the polarities that I have attached to the word power as a step towards a solution for me in how to actually really live the word power, for how I am to clear this word power so as for it to eventually become a living word, this ‘how’ in practicality – because – seeing kind of in separation still – from this word power – that there is in fact and always has been real power in my ability to change – that while this word remains within my me-nings polarized and defined by me as energy experience – then the fact of this real power cannot be actually real-ized – and my ability to change is hampered and obstructed – because of my own acceptance and allowance – so that in writing the sentence ‘ I have the real power and ability to change’ I experience a tremor of fear or trepidation, because I am uttering a sentence that I have not fully as yet lived, and because the me-ning of ‘power’ that I am living now is not aligned with reality, but with positive energy experiences, and comes therefore, with negative polarities, such as (that is: defined by me as negative) ‘subjugation’, ‘control’, ‘restriction’ – so that in using the word power – connected up with freedom as positive experience) I open up a channel for this energy experience – and the fear and trepidation experience is generated out of this connection to who I am as and in these words.

 

It’s interesting how I have not realized that my enjoyment in using words is also the enjoyment of my real power, one and equal with all human beings, of defining the energies that come up from within me – and that what I have not looked at within this is the nature of this joy within enjoyment that I have defined and lived and so experienced, just as also the same as how I have defined and lived and experienced this word power, as all words in my vocabulary. In and as a reality where I have used words that I have already defined as tools to define other words and energy experience – then I can look upon this now and go into an experience of energy as overwhelm-ment – or I can remain with myself – realise that I am stable, here, grounded in breath in this physical reality, and realise that this experience of overwhelm- ment does not support me in any way – it is simply that I have opened up a vista of my programming – which in itself is not a mess – or chaotic – it is highly organized – and yes it is vast and complex and interconnected and interdependent, but all of it is relationships that I have, in my real power and ability, defined, and each of these relationships, specifically, I can use this same real power to no longer accept, to re-define, to self forgive, to re-align.

 

I have the power to accept or to not accept this system as ‘who I am’, I have the power to decide – I have the power to change decisions that I have made – and through incorporating these decisions into my physical reality – then I have the power to change me. This is real power – and is real strength – and seeing and realizing who I am in and as this real strength I can trust in that.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my trust into the systems of my mind, within which I have essentially through acceptance and allowance used my real power to disempower myself, because in abdicating responsibility for the characteristics of the words I live, I have become defined as such and become the victim of my own definitions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put trust into my mind and my imagination in which I have assigned imaginational activity the quality of strength and power to make up stories and alternative reality scenarios so as to justify and excuse and lie about the reality of who I am so as to defend and protect this illusion of myself as the mind.

 

To be continued

 

Creation’s Journey to Life : Day 529: Bubbles and The Theory of Everything – Part 3

Heaven’s Journey to Life:  From Responding/Reacting to the Mind to Response-ability/Direction in Reality (part2): Day 478

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Day 228: Self Questions, Fear and Judgement

Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation  •  Desteni.org  • 

See: The Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights

Living Income Guaranteed: The Proposal

 

photograph : West Pier Brighton by Matthew Closs© 

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Day 228: Self Questions, Fear and Judgement

 

Anu: “…understand that this is what your mind and your external environment’s primary function is – to initiate and stimulate your mind’s pre-programming – to activate particular energy experiences – to from there activate particular thought patterns, back-chats and emotions and feelings – all of which you then believe is who you are and so within that you are controlled – and within this is why and how we have so often explained that your external and internal is a mirror of yourself, and therefore the process exist first and foremost within absolute self–responsibility, absolute self-responsibility meaning that you first take responsibility for what is going on in your own mind. What are the thought patterns that are activating, what are their natures, why are reactions of emotions and feelings activating, what is the back-chat, what is this personality system that you are facing…”

 

An extract from: Interdimensional Technology of Deception and Manipulation – One of the Reptilian series of Portal interviews available at Eqafe.

 

What does Desteni stand for?

The above paragraph of information could be seen as a compact response to this question; showing how Desteni is opening and addressing a global issue, both internally and externally, and how and why it is that human beings are coming to Desteni and gathering as a group, having realized that a platform of real assistance and support is in place for those who wish to now at this stage in their process learn how to take directive principle and absolute responsibility for their minds.

 

This Journey to Life blog comes out of my responsibility to myself to face these systems that I had previously accepted as who I am, and in facing them, understanding them, and taking responsibility for them, and thence changing them. Along with this commitment to change myself, comes the responsibility of sharing this process, what it is that I am walking, what it is that I am facing, exposing the systems that I find within me in the realization of the assistance and support that I have found in others sharing their processes with me, the points they have faced, the resistances that have come up, the changes that they have brought about ultimately to a Mind Consciousness System that is common to all of us, and because of this, sharing solutions which are applicable by all of us.

 

Going back to the quote, and related questions: What is the primary function of my mind? What is the primary function of my external environment? What is my primary relationship to myself? How do I see myself in existence as a whole? Why is it that I have lived a life and not asked myself such questions? Is it really that my presence here in existence is a closed book, or is it that I have not opened the book and looked inside? What is it that happens when I open the book of me and look inside? What are these reactions that I have, these feelings, thoughts and judgements that come up, these sentences, these warnings and advices, these persuasions to desist?

 

The Question itself is like a kind of interdimensional technology – it is a probe – I can use this tool – I can ask myself these questions – and yet there is a fear – do I dare to question what I trust? That is do I dare to re-define what I have defined as unquestionable? In many ways I am the consequence of an unquestioning existence, that I have sort of washed up on the shore of where I am, rather than to have travelled here by my own direction. I have sort of arrived at who I am, not knowing how, having lived a sort of existential insecurity and placed my trust into the systems of the mind.

 

‘Placing my trust’. I mean what questions are raised writing this combination of three words? I mean how is it that I have become separate to trust in my existence, and thence to require a word for it, and a placing for it? Was it that I required for this word to exist? So that I could live it deliberately, knowing what it is, knowing what its value is so that I could live it in awareness as me?

 

Placing my trust into the mind, into consciousness, I have lived unquestioningly of what it is that I have done. So this question – why is it that I have lived a life and not asked myself such questions? – the implication of it is in this resort of placing my trust into the systems of the mind – where there are few self directed questions – but only systems of acceptance and allowance – where things are just the way they are.

 

So now, coming into specificity – there is a resistance here – as I open up the points of who I am as judgement – and so I breathe – I do not accept this experience of myself as the judgements that I have placed my trust in – I do not accept this experience of fear as I look upon the source of this fear, I breathe and stay with myself beside myself in the sense of me in support of me – so that I can enable myself to look upon these energies without slipping into them and becoming them.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that judgements are real, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my trust into systems of the mind, and then to have lived them as who I am, and then through that, experiencing myself as a consequence of how I have defined myself in judgement of myself, as not good enough, as wrong, as bad and so through that experienced fear of looking in myself and seeing me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my trust into the systems of the mind and into judgement and through this to put my trust in fear. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in fear and to define this fear as protection from experiencing myself as the definitions of who I am that I have accepted and allowed through my trust in judgement.

 

Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a loop of energy creation in the service of the mind where I go from judgment to fear and from fear to judgement, and for not seeing and realizing that I have accepted and allowed a systematization of myself in which at no point in the cycle is there any assistance and support for who I really am, but only the depletion of my physical body and the subjugation of my being.

 

The finality of judgement – where the multiple dimensionality of existence is reduced by consciousness into various moral compass points and levels of comparison, such as good and bad and more and less, and then things are defined in finality, in total – such as I am in the totality of myself, not good enough, and then the experience of me to go with that, belief of who or what I am according to this trusted mind, what is this experience, a belittling, an underminement, a destabilization, a disappointment, a shame, a core feel-bad experience. And then a ‘let’s not go there’ directive in relation to this experience, so that doors are closed and the enquiry is over. This is the finality of judgement, that the investigation is blocked, the enquiry does not happen, the questions do not get formed or asked, the book is not opened.

 

Here is where my walking through myself in self forgiveness stumbles, where I have not seen or realized that my self forgiveness has not been absolute – and there is no opening or unfolding of the statements, no ‘within this’ to them anymore.

 

Considering that in an entire existence that is in reality and in all parts one and equal, there is a mind system defining what is and what isn’t according to the interests of the energy out of which it emerges, assuming the authority and the singularity of a god and within and as this act of absolute defiance of reality, here accepting and allowing this there is in some deep awareness of self in this posture of arrogance and defiance – there is fear. There is an awareness of self in opposite alignment to the one and equal reality of existence.

 

How judgement engenders fear is a primary question for me, because I can see when I look into my history how I have resorted to and evolved into this trust in the mind, so that within this I see myself using same as my father, as my family, as my culture, unquestioningly judgements as a compass, as a tool to answer questions, and as a way to dismiss questions, as a way to close the enquiry, to block investigation, so as to hide the emptiness of my position that I have suppressed my option of checking within myself what is here – how in my external world I rarely received answers to questions that were not tempered in some way by judgement – it was the way of the environment in which I grew up – within which I became defined – so that in asking a question, I was ready to receive judgements, to resort to judgements and to knowledge and information in my mind – I gathered up a way to approach and to interpret this reality using my mind, following without question those around me into trusting the mind, rather than seeing and realizing that I am here stable within myself, a point of trust within and as my own awareness.

 

 

Creation’s Journey to Life : Day 529: Bubbles and The Theory of Everything – Part 3

Heaven’s Journey to Life:  From Responding/Reacting to the Mind to Response-ability/Direction in Reality (part2): Day 478

 

EQAFE:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.

EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.

The Quantum Mind

This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.

The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

FIND OUT WHAT DESTENI STANDS FOR

Day 199: Trust in Fear

 

In fearing fear I have stated without somehow noticing it how it is that I have put my trust in fear – why else would I have listened to it – relied upon it – found it necessary – used it’s guidance – found comfort in it – why is it that I have not seen this positive relationship that I have made with it? In some quiet moments in my mind, I notice something new in me – a kind of loneliness – in this nothingness where fear has left a space, and I realise that I am missing it, and implied in this, is that I am holding on to it, calling it back, please come back fear, I miss you so much, how can who I am, as who I’ve been, go on without you. It would be great if seeing the ridiculousness of a relationship would somehow just stop it from existing, though I realise that it does not work like that. What I am looking at is a commonality in a multiplicity of relationships, which stand firm, written in machine code in the structures and the infra-structures of my being.

 

I forgive myself that I have been standing up in blame of fear itself, as the baddy; that in this story that I have cast myself as the self-righteous one, where I have excused and justified myself by putting the responsibility for who and what I have accepted and allowed of me in the process of this life onto this separated dark and evil, apparently, ‘fear’. I commit myself now to look upon this very uncomfortable truth here – a secret that I have kept away from my awareness – the unavoidable twist in the story – is that all along – the fear was useful in my schemes, that it was indispensible, a necessary component to this false integrity that I have lived as me, where I get to keep some self-respect, some dignity. And all along, behind this front, that I have manipulated my belief, in this apparent darkness of fear as ignorance of my own awareness, that the pay-off was a justified self-interest.  Here is shame of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be as a house of cards in a scam existence.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to look upon the convenience of having with me fear, where who and what I am within convenience is directly exposed, while yet in fear of fear that I remain as hidden to myself, and distracted from this self.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see that I have chosen an existence where I do not see and realise and face my self-dishonesty, and that within this, on the ‘ground’ of this, the energetic platform of this, that I have accepted and allowed myself to make structures of myself as personalities that thrive on fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in fear, and that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realise and understand and face the fact that this belief itself is a decision that I have made and chosen to suppress and to forget and hide away.

 

In seeing, realizing and understanding this responsibility that I have in this belief of fear, I commit myself to bring this realization with me as I walk this process, in my self forgiveness and self correction of myself, so that as I face the relationships that I have written into me and made me with, as fear, that I no longer see this fear as something bad that must be removed, as if it just happened to be there as part of a system and my pre-programming, but as a decision that I have made in my self interest, and as relationship that I have made in which I justify my own existence as myself as not to blame.

 

 

 

 

New Interviews: Sunette Spies: 

Day 343 The meaning of Self –for-Gifting/Giving Life pt 1

Day 344 The meaning of Self- for-Gifting/Giving Life part 2

 

Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World

 

NEW

the FREE DIP LITE Course now available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.

 

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com