Day 303: Meaninglessness and Significance

persian-myth-detail

 

Putting up these paintings through this blog: I am glad to show these paintings in parallel to this investigation into meaninglessness, there is a sense of completion in this, the right place for them, because in a way the painting process, and much of how I shaped my life followed from this point of meaning-lessness, the paintings themselves came out of a process that I had instigated with this evolution and confinement of myself into and as the systems and words which I have been describing in recent posts.

 

Where seemingly living self unknowingly through the filter of these words as I had accepted and allowed them to be, at the time I could see no other way but to investigate the consequence of these things that had come up in my life with the word meaninglessness.

 

I see now, the passion was more connected to it being a matter of life or death for me unconsciously to investigate this meaninglessness, to rescue myself from this in a way, while at the same time, not being able to articulate how it was that I had got here. So like in a way, having a large part of self trapped within a box labelled meaninglessness, is going to hold some fascination and attention. So it was that I gave a high priority to this process of investigation.

 

The fact of there being a preprogrammed channel in the system which was called ‘Art’ was convenient to me, and I realized that I could use it as a cover: finding as it were a loop-hole in the system where I could pass off processing/investigation of who and what I had become, confined within this systemization of meaning-lessness.

In my mind what I was aware of at the time was ‘meaninglessness’ holding great significance, something that should be investigated, that should be brought into distinct focus, I felt I was at the brink of a discovery. Sketching out a subtlety of texture of some kind that would enhance projection, I was looking for a form of meaninglessness that was redolent with possible interpretation.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise that within this idea in my mind of designing a texture through which unconscious projections would become obvious, I was seeking out some evidence for me of having meaning, some means through which to find it, not seeing the significance of the fact that the evidence of me was always immediately before me within my very perception and projection overlay on things.

 

Continuing next post…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Day 197: ‘No’: Reaction, continued and Mind Control

 

 Continued from Day 196…

 

Looking into the scenario of a moment in my energy existence that I opened up in the previous post – an outline of an interaction with another being in which I stand as self-righteousness within the ‘No’ as a refusal – here an obvious example, sample of this ‘who I am’ within and as mind-control, as a contained consciousness system with no actual concern for the physical reality that I have accepted and allowed myself to be as separated from – no concern except how I may use it or utilize it as a service provider for the purpose of more energy, interpreted through the mind consciousness as ‘goods’ and ‘bads’ within my relationships to who I am as feelings and emotions.

The specific dynamics of this mind-control start to become visible to me when I look at how I am within what I have accepted as who I am in these relationships – toward myself, my self interested experience of myself, and towards the other being, not as a physical reality but as a competing system, as myself. I forgive myself that within this I have created a relationship in which I see the other being as the embodiment of the evils within me that I am unwilling to acknowledge or face up to, and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize this projection as a way to justify my self righteousness, in which essentially I am playing games of energy in the abuse of another being for the sake of making real this illusion of myself as an accumulation of energy as positive feeling in an idea of superiority.

 

So in this sample, a relationship that I have accepted and allowed within which I am responding automatically (or as a decision that I do take responsibility for) to fear – ‘fear of being controlled’, as a basis for this ‘No’ reaction towards manipulation – and within this, ridiculously enough, an image in my mind, of who I am as ‘free’. How is it that this contradiction has not been apparent?

 

So it is supportive to me and all as me – and by this I mean as equal beings integrated as we are within the fake realities of consciousness –  to understand more clearly what is mind-control – for, as shown in the sample of the previous post, the consequence of this deliberate ignorance of self is an existence in this physical reality while oblivious to it in fact, neglecting it for the sake of a continuation of this energy systemization of myself that I have accepted and allowed in concordance with the judgements of my mind as ‘who I am’ – in which essentially, I am busy entertained within my mind as swinging between conquest and defeat, saving ‘face’, and standing ‘ground’. And within this what is squandered is the realization that I have this opportunity for actual life on this Earth, to be actually physically lived, in fact. That is as physical within the laws of physics.

 

When I look at how I first encountered the concept of ‘mind control’, I see that it was ready-couched within a story of a relationship in which the innocent beings were being irradiated by nasty secret forces and organisations and conspiracies, with disinformation, with subliminal threats and suggestions, with mesmerizing rays, hypnosis and lies. And I see how that in accepting this story that I have absorbed it from the system, that I have within this accepted ‘mind-control’ as presented to me in the context of self righteousness in this ‘us’ as innocents and ‘them’ as the nasty evil ones to blame – and that in swallowing this, that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify and excuse my non responsibility, while at the same time emphasize this image in my mind of who I am as ‘free’.

 

Interesting that here the reality of the mind control of beings through their own minds as consciousness does not come into the equation, and that within accepting and allowing definitions of the words of mind-control in the contexts of self righteousness and blame, that the question of who am I within and as and responsible for the relationships that I have accepted and allowed towards for example the energy experience of fear has made it possible for me to be controlled according to my own acceptance and allowance and design.

 

I commit myself to deconstruct this system that I have accepted and allowed of self-righteousness and blame, through which I have accepted and allowed within myself to throw the very key of change away as who I am as self responsibility within this.

 

It is not that this mind-control does not exist, it obviously does exist, as wall to wall disinformation and lies and distortions of the truth, as entertainment stories with sub-texts, as information that has been filtered through the censors of corporate interests – but all of it is coming through the human beings that have found places in the system from which they are able to expound their perspectives and beliefs and their manipulation strategies towards the world or towards the market place – but all of it from the starting-point of who they are within their minds as consciousness as mind-controlled.

 

So, bringing it all back to me within this example, sample of my life as an energetic ‘me’ personality functioning within and as my mind-controlled existence as consciousness, as an energy reality – here I see myself in the activity of asserting, exerting my energy reality onto another being, as attempted mind control, by projecting blame onto them as if – according to belief within my mind – that they have the power to ‘make’ me do something, or ‘make me feel’ something, one way or another, or to ‘force’ me into the position of having to experience myself – that I assert this same belief that I can do the same – that I can in fact ‘make’ them feel something, or that I can somehow undermine and destabilize them within themselves, for the sake of my own profit of energy and corporate self interest.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not responsible for the energy experience within me, be it thought or emotion or feeling, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have through the acceptance of this belief within me to have blamed other people for ‘making’ me feel or to experience myself the way I do, and also through my acceptance and allowance of this same belief to then believe that I can accumulate advantage in myself by attempting to ‘make’ another being through their consciousness to experience themselves the way I want them to, so that I remain within and as control. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to be trapped within and as this programming as who I am within my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a reality of self deceit in which I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to beliefs and according to what I am ‘supposed’ to be according to the knowledge information and examples and authorities and systems that surround me in this world rather than first checking inside me in self-honesty, who I am to this, who I am within me to this world, who I am to this being that stands before me in this world. 

 

 

 

New Interviews: Sunette Spies: 

Day 343 The meaning of Self –for-Gifting/Giving Life pt 1

Day 344 The meaning of Self- for-Gifting/Giving Life part 2

 

Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World

 

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The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

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