Putting up these paintings through this blog: I am glad to show these paintings in parallel to this investigation into meaninglessness, there is a sense of completion in this, the right place for them, because in a way the painting process, and much of how I shaped my life followed from this point of meaning-lessness, the paintings themselves came out of a process that I had instigated with this evolution and confinement of myself into and as the systems and words which I have been describing in recent posts.
Where seemingly living self unknowingly through the filter of these words as I had accepted and allowed them to be, at the time I could see no other way but to investigate the consequence of these things that had come up in my life with the word meaninglessness.
I see now, the passion was more connected to it being a matter of life or death for me unconsciously to investigate this meaninglessness, to rescue myself from this in a way, while at the same time, not being able to articulate how it was that I had got here. So like in a way, having a large part of self trapped within a box labelled meaninglessness, is going to hold some fascination and attention. So it was that I gave a high priority to this process of investigation.
The fact of there being a preprogrammed channel in the system which was called ‘Art’ was convenient to me, and I realized that I could use it as a cover: finding as it were a loop-hole in the system where I could pass off processing/investigation of who and what I had become, confined within this systemization of meaning-lessness.
In my mind what I was aware of at the time was ‘meaninglessness’ holding great significance, something that should be investigated, that should be brought into distinct focus, I felt I was at the brink of a discovery. Sketching out a subtlety of texture of some kind that would enhance projection, I was looking for a form of meaninglessness that was redolent with possible interpretation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise that within this idea in my mind of designing a texture through which unconscious projections would become obvious, I was seeking out some evidence for me of having meaning, some means through which to find it, not seeing the significance of the fact that the evidence of me was always immediately before me within my very perception and projection overlay on things.
Continuing next post…
Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.
EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.
The Quantum Mind
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