Day 460: The Unknown Eqafe Recordings
What has now become a library of previously unheard information, I mean the content of the Eqafe recordings: amongst and with those questions asked and answered also in and as Abundance, there is that glimpse of truth for which we have not asked, for which we could not ask; because beneath those layers of acceptance and allowance those key questions have become submerged, and we have till now been content with coping with their absence, accustomed to a life of exile from ourselves… a life in which those questions have no place to come from.
The Eqafe recordings: it is now some ten years since they started, yet awareness of even their existence spreads so very slowly throughout the world. We thought at first that it would spread across the net like fire, that millions would be listening to the message of the Dimensionals, to be interested in the existence of the Portal, in perspectives of our human reality, and the reality of others in our world beside ourselves for the first time coming through, and that our gratitude for an outside view of things would be shared by all, and yet perhaps it was our own enthusiasm that down-played the fact that spreading news of this would not be easy.
And in a way, my own enthusiasm messed things up because even with a glimpse of what is real I myself caught fire and went round ranting and raving, attempting to break down the walls of programming, causing those around me to back away and wonder if I might be mad; that was how inadvertently I actually strengthened the resistance.
Enthusiasm: what is in this word? Looking up the roots of enthusiasm I find literally, ‘possession by a god’, as in excitement as possession, being ‘with God.’ And while looking up enthusiasm also I noticed listed there, in the dictionary, an antonym: ‘indifference.’ I mention this within the consideration that indeed there was in retrospect a kind of madness in my ravings: I had suddenly gone into reaction to a kind of resigned indifference that I’d been living, and so swung into a polarity of that within and as enthusiastic ravings.
What is done is done; to those whom I subjected this I ask for their forgiveness; and I forgive myself; gradually I learn to walk in equanimity with myself, and to express my understandings from a grounded place inside me. If I were to redefine myself within and as Enthusiasm, I would change the word of God within it to the word of Life, because it was in the realisations that I was not in the context that I had ascribed myself as playing a role as insignificant, in the ‘greater’ scheme of things, but that actually in living I therefore was involved no less or more than Life itself. So the enthusiasm that I lived had the emotional charge of the lost within and as myself as found; and the release that I expressed was the release of that oppression that I’d been living, of that damnation that I had imposed upon myself and had so much believed in.