Continuing here from the previous posts: walking a personal process of redefining Abandoned with reference to Eqafe’s Atlanteans series Abandoned
From previous post… a memory… of a walk, ‘years ago’, setting off to stand beside tree, and to look around perspectives from its crag, to feel the way the wind comes up this valley….
It seems rather odd to look upon the information that was stored of how I embodied a personality, contained within a memory of many years ago, standing on the rock of a projected world.
And seeing an outline of that design: to be and have, and be-have, a universal excuse, ready to apply at any and all moments, a sort of ideal programmed freedom, to have leisure within these layers of belief where each excuse has been tried and tested, and has the support of back-up plans, and alternative narratives and sub-plots, definition-frames, immediately at hand, for an existence of diversion, as in transfer from one comfort zone to another, and all within a constant background context of Oblivion. Oblivion: Not Born Live I On. Where I stand on the essence of who I am within and as this personality design, I project it out as the context of Existence as a whole.
Long time ago: seems to make a distance-from, but actually the physical persists through time as one: as in my body – I mean although I see that personality ‘retreat’ and my gradual embodiment into it and as it – as something in the ‘past’ – I recognize it as it exists now as part of me as well, my present life in it, and the life in it of me; where I am in the habit of referring to this personality, and in that reference to it, shifting into it.
So in the realization that in moments this is who I am as how I have accepted me to be as this design of consciousness, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and act upon my projection of Oblivion, that I have accepted and allowed Oblivion to be as a source of comfort as I accommodate the design of Abandoned in moments of reaction to my direction of myself in physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have lived a denial of my own decision to be born that is manifest and evident as my existence here, so therefore I commit myself in recognizing these points of shift that I have projected on the world, to in my redefinition of Abandoned to bring with me, into this habit, my reaffirmation of my decision to be Born, to bring this decision to be born into and as a starting point of Action, to change through walking this, this default setting in my life, to bring this into my expression of myself in taking Action.
So that in practicality, when I look upon the chaos factors of the world I have created and arranged, and allowed to accumulate, that I do not shift into a fascination of it where it’s like at the same time as while there may be something for real for me to look at in this projection, I not accept this construct as an overlay of what I am physically seeing, because I see and realise how walking into this I’m walking into an experience of every reason in the world to not take action.
With reference to Habits: very cool insights here in SOUL video Habits and Change
Continuing next post…