Day 416: Solutions of Abandon
Reference: Eqafe The Atlanteans: Abandoned.
Redefining Process beginnings: towards solutions of Abandon
Walking a process through Self Forgiveness of what I have accepted and allowed of who I am within this word Abandon, I have thus enabled me to see how in my life I have accepted and allowed – with this word directing me – for it to be causing chaos. Not just where I went ‘overboard’ with an obsession, but also for example in my present world where gradually all the moments in which I put something down, in a hurry, accumulates into many moments, and so a chaos, a chaos in which things get ‘lost’, and when I look into this world around me – I mean extending out across this table and this immediate room in which I write this, I see also how I am expressed in it – in the placements of the objects – through the actions taken in moments of abandon, moments abandoned – in some kind of a rush – in which I have become very mean with giving me the Time, giving me the time for the purpose of organising things around me. And so I see now how in accepting and allowing Abandoned as a comfort zone, that ‘rush’ was more an expression of my position of superiority to Organisation, and that casting of little things aside – was like a consequence of this.
Something else that I realised was how for me, even though I had defined it in a negative way, the ‘putting of the feet down on the ground’ – I saw that this was already present – in my definition of the word Abandon, that the word Abandon had always held the opportunity for that; emerging from the process of the release of hurt and blame, I realised that it could become instead a point of deliberate action, coming from > I am Here: I put my feet onto the ground, this is what I’m going to do.
In a state of chaos, and going ‘overboard’ , then an Action Plan is not just a ‘good idea’, but sometimes it is the one and only thing that can be relied on, like – realizing that the consciousness in it’s present state of turmoil – is practically useless – then an Action Plan can be like a life-line – just as with the process of writing-out – whereas, in the Action Plan, the words relate to listing of specific tasks and things that need to get done.
The making of an action plan as the beginning of a physical process: To support myself in looking into this I made a ‘Form’, an ‘Action Plan’, designed for Organising What to Do, I printed it out, I looked at it from different angles, I handled it, I made it tangible, I made photographs of it, I brought theatrical dimensions into it, I brought myself to a place in which I could simply look at Action Plan as something in itself.
Exploring this, the words that have come up for me are: Action-plan, Action, Plan, Organisation, Steps, List – structural words that flow from out of > This is what I’m going to do. Of course, having in my mind ‘what to do’, and hearing the advice of others, ‘what to do’, and even having an action-plan of ‘what to do’, and even writing it, all of that is far away from actually doing it, doing those actions.
More on this next time…