Day 397: Future, Plans, and Paths, and the word Dispute.

 

“As we gradually embrace the realization that we have been here always, that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be defined, that we have accepted and allowed these definitions that we found ourselves to be, as real, so we enter now a new reality, a realization that we are responsible within having accepted life to be as predefined, and so, for seeing it in the limited way we do, and so the realization comes that it is now for us to take the evolution of ourselves in hand in redefining who we are substantially within, towards, and in relationship to all the things that make up everything…“

…from a note on Veno’s statement… Getting Definitions in Place: 2007…  Introducing Structural Resonance

 

Future, Plans, and Paths, and the word Dispute.

 

Realising that there is something new for me in planning something to be happening in the future, I look at this and see that I have allowed myself into this word Future, that I see a way, a dawning possibility of who I am within this word, rather than in separation from it, that within this also, in the creation of a Plan, where I put order into my physical extension into time in physical steps. These words: Future, Plan, Purpose, together.

 

And I realise in this also: that I had been living the word Future as with an energetic, emotion/feeling function, like for example in the process of ‘predicting what might happen’: visions of the future tempered by a fear of conflict, and disempowerment, where in my emotional mind I refer to such a vision as if it were reality, and then decide to act, or not to act, where my actions and my movements are defined by what unfolds as a vision of the future, that is itself defined by fear of conflict, fear of confrontation, sensitive to any sign of possible dispute.

 

‘Possible Dispute’ then holds a key position in my mind, a constant probe, a constant resonance. A decision made in fear: that I required a path avoiding any circumstance that could fall into the definition of the word Dispute, where in this arrangement, fear of conflict, fear of confrontation evolved into a protection, a guide, and comfort zone. And so eventually there was evolved a Dispute alarm as a safety feature: to protect me from the experience that I had stored within Dispute, memories of the impact of argumentative, quarreling loud, dominating, raised voice, heated words – on me – that experience of being rattled, shaken up, accused, defined – memories of harsh abrasive sound.

 

In defining words and how they can then define you, I see how much my definition of Dispute, and who I am within it has been a shaping factor in my physical life, where for example, I did not stand or stay or persevere, because I saw a future of dispute, and within Dispute a fear of entering and becoming that experience of instability. Having almost like a reflex action to the word Dispute functioning as a focal point of this emotional experience, I hardly noticed how the word would be present there in the structures of inner conversation, or in my backchat, in imagined gossip, in the very notion of back-chat itself – where in view of insecurity – reviewing in my mind what I said, or did not say, or something that I did or did not do – seeing in my mind some spontaneous illustration of Dispute, designed to suit the moment, and yet not seeing the word itself that stands within it, at the source of it – and then reacting to such thoughts, imagining up experience of myself as bad or wrong or out of line, and a judgement onto who I am in that. Here is the word Dispute in action in my mind as a self manipulation point, functioning as the tether of my limitation, while at the same time defining a comfort zone of avoidance of dispute.  

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach these memorized experiences, and memories of destructive sounds into the word Dispute, and to gather into the word Dispute memories of vicious argument and quarreling and judgement games. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in fear of what might happen in the presence of the word Dispute, as it manifests within my mind and finds an anchorage in my attention, to fear that following the word Dispute a Pandora’s Box will open:  Confrontation, Positions, and Vicious Vehemence in frequencies of sounds that I fear will have direct and instant impact on me, in me, where I fear that I will automatically lose my grounding and control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as strategies to protect this button from being pressed. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the word Dispute to exist inside me in this way. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become defined by the word Dispute, where I am acting in avoidance of it, where I have continuously stood as avoidance of Dispute in the process of decision making and actions, where my path as me through this my life has thus been shaped and limited. Seeing the personal history/etymology of this word, I commit myself to clear this word for me, to redefine this word so that the contents are clear of these emotions. I commit myself to learn to breath and ground myself in the hearing of such frequencies of sound, where in my childhood years of designing words to live, I see I did not have perspective, tools, or understanding, and yet set up beliefs and ways to live, and coping mechanisms and within that conditioning the future, therefore I commit myself to redefine this word Dispute to equalize myself with it, to not any longer allow the word to be a trigger of these emotions, but instead to ask myself about the nature of my standing in this moment, my certainty within myself within my physical body, here.

 

 

 

 

 

Redefining and Living Words – SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in discovering and developing their utmost potential

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey to Life

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~ by adamsblogs on July 4, 2017.

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