Day 355: Standing and Reunion
Those Failure programmings: that in letting go of constructs that I had consented to and hence walked a toleration of who I was within them, as contained within the experience of Failure, the Word, what I found surfacing within me was a series of dreams that were like in summary me expanding into different experiences of Reunion. Here were further confirmations coming up of how I had gone into separation from people that were here in my life and how I had walked paths away from these relationships and into rejection of myself within them and from them, and so on an essential level what I realized was how I had begun on walking a path of Reunion with myself. Or showing myself rather, that now I have given myself the opportunity of doing so. And I do so choose this.
Fascinating how the strike of lightning bolts of self judgement and self definitions made in judgement and shame can mutate the branching or the splitting of the tree as it were of a life. With the possibility of access of Self Reunion there follows out of this: Ok I can now step out of this my old relationship with this my physical body, and so begin to make a new relationship that stands within forgiveness and equality. That realization was also the glimpse of tangibility in Honour, like in opening the door to a possibility of a unity of self expressed within and as a different language.
I am aware of here that what I am writing out are simply reflections of potential, but what is real is that in redefining me in Diligence, in support of me, and continuing to do so, that through redefining for me a path to walk myself is in a way a How-To for me to support my own expansion, and what comes up next is more a What-to word that is in Challenge. In continuing to walk Diligence, it becomes more ingrained as a blueprint for me as I start walking other words that have been existing in me, buried in some way, within for example this word Challenge, and within that, what I have extracted so far, is the word Drive.
Where what discovery of self that I made in opening up the word Failure, the most essential in this was my refusal to accept myself in seeing me for real in not standing for me in personal relationships where obviously I had chosen to go for expressions of self dishonesty as a personality, but rather than supporting me in asking for forgiveness or giving to me forgiveness of myself, and so stood with me in seeing this mistake, I had chosen instead to walk a path of separation and walking-out-on self and others, where the entirety of my mistake in choosing to embody this personality had then remained as protected and justified and where possible directed into blame of the other person. So it is that through the self forgiveness of these layers of Failure that these points both of Standing and Reunion kind of re-emerge within me.
… Continuing the process of walking Challenge, next post …
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