Day 285: Communication Errors 7: Conflict
Day 285: Communication Errors 7: Conflict
Who you are to me, is something about me, in how I see you that I refuse to change, I have my position to consider, and who I am to you is something in my mind in how I think you see me that I refuse to change, I have my position to consider.
What is this position that I cling to, that ensures a re-run of the conflict, that ensures that I will stay within this pattern, that committed to the pattern that I hold you to your word that I have misinterpreted in my mind as who you have to ever be? With this idea in my mind of my ‘position’ as my defense, I draw upon an idea of my strength, I do not want to look at that this strength has no foundation, I do not want to look at that this ‘position’ can only be defined in a sketch out of a world that I assert as being reality.
What factors in my mind arise in me that I have held you to within this word I see you living? The records of the past, I have them at my disposal; often when I think of an idea of you in my mind, that I hold to be in fact you, I cross-check them, I seek out inconsistencies, and points of refutation, I elaborate the pattern, and seek out ways to trap you by the word I see you living, my greatest wish is that I do not see this word precisely, because I do not wish to see exactly how I live this word myself within me that causes me to see it in you and then to hold you to it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a version of reality in my mind, and then confused this version with what is really here. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in this person that I am as real that exists within this version of reality that I have created. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to populate this version of reality as representatives of aspects of myself that I have rejected from out of my awareness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in ‘strength’ within absolute abiding judgements, and that within this that I have accepted and allowed myself to cling to a version of power within a sense of powerlessness and fear that I have accepted and allowed as my relationship to the conflicts that arise within me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this version of reality that I have created and lived within my mind, to have accepted and allowed myself to live the principle of abiding judgement, as the structure of it, in which I do not change, and also not accept for change in others in my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within and as this version of reality that I have created in my mind that I have created a world of blame, that I have created as patterns of thought, systems of blame. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a version of myself in this version of reality as living loyalty towards this system that I myself have created.
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EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.
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