Day 282: Communication Errors 4: “I Don’t Care”
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to look into and change the dimensions of the words as I have accepted and allowed for them to exist within me.
Day 282: Communication Errors 4: “I Don’t Care”
“Words have got multiple dimensions existent within them and as them – they are literally access into worlds – if you will – worlds or realities – that we have created within the mind. And here to also understand or to give another perspective of what we mean by the process of living words: at the moment when we open up words and walk into words in relation to what is existent within and behind them as our current relationship to them – they open up realities within your Mind Consciousness System and then how from the reality of the word in the Mind Consciousness System, it siphons into your physical body and so into your physical reality. So you are essentially inadvertently living words, but instead of it being a direct self plus word relationship that equals your living, it is now mind plus word equals more like a consequential outflow into your living through your physical and how it creates your world and your reality…” Enlil, Reptilians 266: Redefining Care.
Such a statement of the significance of words in the experience of ourselves in this one life is enough to tip and tilt and shake the ground of what each of us have accepted and allowed as who we are. Communication as how it has been lived in this inadvertency has lost its reach. Now has come the opportunity for us to redefine our words so as to include ourselves directly, so as to take responsibility for and change these consequential outflows that so affect the world, our relationships to ourselves and to each other, and to the whole of Life.
Here I am continuing from previous and recent posts, in which I have opened up and followed strands of enquiry into moments of my life when I have accepted and allowed and conditioned my relationship to a triangle of ‘authority’ and ‘father’ and ‘system’, in which I became as a personality founded on retaliation to the world, created a backdoor in my mind as a constant excuse so as to protect myself from actual self realization, made as like a shell of positive energy in which to live as an experience of winning, winning in a game against my mind.
So a word that figures in the beginnings of the shift, the break-off-from-discussion word as it were, ‘the last word’ as who I am as the final ‘authority’ in hostility towards the mind, is the statement, automated through habitual repetition into a line of backchat, is “I don’t care.” This, extended into a hardening of the blame morphs into the “Fuck You” in which the “not caring” gesture has evolved, becomes more weaponized.
What is it that exists within and as this vessel of ‘not caring’? First of all, in ‘not’ I see an affirmation of who-I-am- as retaliation, as a glorious power rising up in judgement of the world, and the mind, and then connecting this to ‘care’, first of all in care, I see ‘carry’. Like simply, the backchat acting like a ticket into a world divorced from self-responsibility, in which I have accepted and allowed responsibility to be as a ‘burden’ laid on me by others, that I refuse to carry, where in this ‘power’ of refusal I have found an expression of myself within this storm, an expression that I cling to, that defines me out of the experience of powerlessness that I have accepted and allowed as my relationship towards the conflicts in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have exist within me a definition of ‘care’ that is only applicable to me in my self interest; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look into a world in separation from myself and not seen realized and understood how and why and in what way the idea in my mind of ‘caring’ has seemed somehow inapplicable or out of reach for me. I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see realize and understand that the settings of this tool have in fact been set by me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my own simulations of ‘caring’ for the world, when within this I have not actually and in fact lived this word for real, but only used it as a negative component of who-I-am-as a personality within my mind founded on a platform of hostility towards myself.
Therefore I commit myself to change the definition of this caring that I have accepted and allowed; to change this image of in caring, ‘carrying’ the ‘burden’ ‘imposed’ on me in my projection – into a ‘carrying’ as me supporting who I am in the face of conflict that comes up in me, so as and when the backchat comes of ‘I don’t care’, I stop, and I breathe, I realise that I have become conditioned to this cut-off point from the energies that are coming up in me, and have been using as an excuse to go into as the entertainments of the mind, and within this realization I see realise and understand that this ‘cut-off’ point is actually and in fact a point of opportunity, a point in which I have the choice and the decision to rather than to tolerate suppression as a mode of my existence, to instead stop and breathe and stabilize myself and then look into how I might support myself that is integrated in the conflict that arises in me.
Here are the instructions to the process of accessing our life-force, our beingness, our physical bodies and walking through the mind and consciousness.
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