Day 238: Continuation of: Realising and living my utmost potential (1)
Here in this post I explore some of the issues of self sabotage that I have accepted and allowed within the principle of realizing and living my utmost potential – in which I have projected an idea of myself into a future where I believe I am already living it. By ‘Exploring these issues’ I mean also at the same time, directing them towards and in line with life as what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have existed as a personality in which I have animated and embodied a ‘future’ image of myself in my mind – and then in the physical world from this made reference to who I am as according to my intentions and plans– I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived for and as an experience of positive energy, not here, and not anywhere really but as a hope filled fiction of what I may be or might be or possibly become, and within this ‘may’ or ‘might’ be, positive appraisals of myself as becoming one and equal to what believe I should be, or believe I am expected to be, rather than learning how to live self forgiveness in my breath here and walk in patience the points in which I see and realize and understand that I have within them aligned myself into and as the energy rather than the physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this personality react with impatience towards the actual real pace of changing the points within the physical, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within this that who I am within and as this personality is capable of instant change and adjustment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have utilized the energy of hope as a transitional vehicle to make a shift out of a bad feeling and into a good feeling, rather than self honestly looking at the nature of the bad feeling and seeing what its contents are, and simply walking change. Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I may or might experience through looking at the bad feeling.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to these good feeling as ‘me’, that I have therefore sought out methods of creating or initiating bad feelings in myself so as to generate this hope, and thence maintain the good feeling experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to established methods of dealing with or coping with or managing my energy reality, that I have accepted and allowed the automation of such things to the extent where I am kind of bemused or upset when a vicious backchat comes up in my mind carrying the words that, having been tested over and over again, will guarantee a bad experience of myself, like a short sharp shock that will in the course of events lead me back to hope, and back to the future.
The mergence of hope energy into the word future is complete, because how can hope exist without a future, and since the nature of hope energy is positive, a construct in my mind of ‘the future’ has become conditioned by this hope. The nature of a future in which somehow everything has become ‘alright’, in which the present reality has been transcended, without the work or effort towards it, is magical. And here is a projected reality in which ‘everything is alright’ simply according to a feeling experience in my mind without a reference to what is actually taking place as me in physical reality.
Okay so I am writing-on here, because I see realise and understand how that which I ‘might’ or ‘may’ write within my mind can only come from this imaginary placement of me from within and out of this future vision of me – where in actual reality this image of my future as who I am is far and far away from where I actually really in fact am – where having been shown the information, I have just absorbed it and integrated it in and as my mind and not walked through it for myself, but skipped that part, so that experiencing myself in physical reality interacting with the people in the world, and seeing myself in reaction to it, and to them, then I have gone into an experience of disappointment with myself, that I see myself as less than what I hoped myself to be. And so within this delivered myself into the programming of not-good-enough for me. Why delivery – because the experience that I have accepted and allowed within who I am as not-good-enough is a bad feeling – and according to this system design, just as the vicious backchat, a component in the hope and future cycle in which I eventually sign back into this suspension, or procrastination of my own reality.
There is another component to this system, which is self pity. When I lay self pity energy beside the energy of hope, they seem quite similar, they are both kind of positive and transitional, so that accepting and allowing a suddenly harsh self judgement as real, I have accepted and allowed the self pity comforting experience to bring me down, to hold me to embrace me, and within that ‘down’ experience, to foster hope.
This is where I find myself as lagging behind my self-process, somehow futuristically caught up into a reluctance to step into that which I really am here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to merge the future as a simple physical time space potentiality with an emotional experience of hope, as an aspect or zone of consciousness, in which I experience as me an imagined or idealized version of who I am. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an emotional experience within the world of my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to ‘utmost potentiality’, and for within that to impose a limitation on myself and within that to become a personality of limitation.
I commit myself to see realize and understand that ‘utmost potentiality’ is simply what it is, nothing more and nothing less, it has no charge, it is a simple unfoldment of a seed into what it may become – therefore I commit myself to take responsibility for my unfoldment of me.
EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.
The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.