Day 229: Waking into Energy
A thought came up in my mind last night – it formulated as – if I stay up this late, I’ll never be able to get up in the morning – I was aware of its presence in my mind – and I accepted and allowed its existence to continue, unquestioned – even this word ‘never’ did not alert me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to collaborate within and as these systems of consciousness, and for overlooking passing thoughts, and for not seeing and realizing that in accepting and allowing such lines of information as backchat in my mind that I am accepting and allowing the pre-programming of my reality.
It’s so interesting that a line of backchat can go by and not be recognized as a command or as an instruction of how to be – and how instead it passes as a harmless observation. And so it is that seeing it thus within that I accept this self manipulation.
So what a surprise, this morning I heard the alarm go off – way downstairs – I had ‘forgotten’ to bring it with me when I went to bed – and I was kind of awake, in a way, or in activation of energy systems more accurately, in a conflict whether to get up or not to get up – on which side of the conflict would ‘I’ make a decision – to disregard the apparently unpleasant experience that the memories were teaming up to indicate that I would have – exposing my body to the ‘shock’ of cold air – and disregarding this – to thence do what I had planned to do – or else to give in and give up to the temptations of returning through the justifications of being kind to myself and letting me rest a little longer, for the benefit of my well being etc. with any amount of other postponement constructs and devices available as back up in support of this – should they become necessary – and then returning into the warm folds of my bed, and into the coils of imagination, and oblivion.
Well – in fact, I got up.
Realisations while I was doing this was my relationship to this phrase ‘have to’ – rather than ‘I decide to’ – or rather than just simply doing it and being the action of it without an observation or a comment on it through my mind – but my realization was that I was reacting to these words ‘have to’, where in internal conversation in really a debate within myself – that I was using this phrase to convince and persuade myself that it, getting up, is what I ‘have’ to do, that there is no choice, and within this that I was in fact deliberately leaving a backdoor wide open. Why? Because this is like a tease in a way, I am accepting and allowing the dangling of a temptation in front of me, where there is an awareness of the reactions connected to ‘have to’, and I am accepting and allowing myself to be guided gently into that reaction, there I will stray into areas of compulsion, and the giving up and surrendering to conscious systems will be done – and then I will justify within I can’t get up, this tiredness is too strong, I need to sleep, and within that, curling up in comfort.
So looking at this ‘have to’ and my reactions to it – within the situation of having to do something, I experience a fear of loss of freedom of choice, that my dignity within and as a personality of free-choice has been undermined, and I am going into a belief that ‘I am being compelled’, and then experiencing myself as disempowered, and weak, and less-than – so in reaction what do I do, I empower myself by asserting my choice to not do what I believe ‘I am being compelled’ to do – where within this closed system, I have not considered at all what is the action that is being presented or its relationship to the implementation of my purpose in the context of physical reality – but only have reacted to this experience of myself within my mind and considered only strategies to avoid experiencing this disempowerment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am empowered in and as an image of myself as ‘free’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in experiences of positive energy as ‘power’ through this belief.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in experiences of negative energy as ‘disempowered’ when who I am and what I live within the word ‘free’ is threatened.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing myself as disempowered.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become controlled by fear of experiencing myself as disempowered.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act out of fear of experiencing myself as disempowered and to have participated in thought processes to protect and defend who I am in how I live the word ‘free’.
To be continued
Creation’s Journey to Life : Day 529: Bubbles and The Theory of Everything – Part 3
Heaven’s Journey to Life: From Responding/Reacting to the Mind to Response-ability/Direction in Reality (part2): Day 478
EQAFE: ‘The Crucifixion of Jesus’, has been a great support to me because hear within these interviews, presented through the Portal, the actual teachings of Jesus, rather than the ones that were to be, after his death, tweaked and twisted into the four approved versions of his life as the Gospels. How the political message of Equality and the reality of Equality and Oneness were skewed into a religious mantra so as to suit the interests of the system.
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact and in specific detail.
The FREE DIP LITE Course available to All – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ This is a powerful free introduction to real self-exploration, and self realisation using the Desteni tools, with online support. This really is an opportunity of a life time.