Day 190: Care


 

Care is the starting point of standing for and looking out for the best interests of all life, within the recognition that as part of this and as an expression of this life, that is here, what is best for all includes me, is best for me also. The principle of equality and oneness, and of ‘give as you would like to receive’, and directly hence an Equal Money System in support of all in line with this is a common sense expression of this care and of the realisations of the nature of ourselves one and equal as expressions of life.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed this common sense to become a living reality as who I am because I see and realize that I have accepted and allowed an exception in and as myself as a personality of ‘I don’t Care’ applied to me and to my world as me.

 

Looking into who I have accepted and allowed myself to be within the word futility, I find the ‘I don’t care’ personality keeps looming up as something that is here to be investigated and explored, and it is something, a system that I have accepted and allowed to act for me of which I am very much not proud. Because when I look into this, I see a point of ‘care’ but it is a desperate care placed into me as an energy system, protecting and defending this idea, concept, image, investment of myself as consciousness, in outright denial of who I am as life. What would be the opposite of care would be an act of deliberate spite.

 

When I look towards the roots of this spitefulness, I see that I must investigate and face who I have accepted and allowed myself to be as blame, where I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into line with a system in which I put the responsibility of how I feel onto others, that I am trying to make it real that it is someone else’s fault the way I feel, and that also if they had acted differently the way I wanted as an input of positive energy, towards me then I would be feeling better in myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need this positive energy input from others to make me feel better about myself, to equalize the negative experience of me that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see as an experience of energy, but instead to see as real, as who I really am within my being. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take ‘on board’ immediately the negative or inferiorizing put downs of others as an input in which I have accepted and allowed myself to use this to define who I am, and within that again to blame it on the people around me in my world, that they ‘made’ me feel the way I feel.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need this positive input of energy, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in the situation of not getting what I want as positive energy from others to have developed ways and means to give this to myself so as not to experience myself as this negative energy that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand has been my own choice. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to layer into my physical being these negative judgements of myself that I have accepted and allowed as real, so that feeling this negative experience within my very flesh that I have programmed, that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify this my belief in this because I feel it in my physical, that then it ‘must’ be real.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within the belief that I need this positive energy within belief of who I am as negative energy, feeling this within my flesh, to have become desperate to get for me this energy. Within this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make it of utmost importance to me that someone in the world cared at least a shit for me, because I had accepted and allowed this ‘care’ as positive energy in the form of ‘liking me’, or as ‘approval’ or as ‘recognition’, and within this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that to have any sense of worth or value that I depended on this as a judgement from an other being, and within this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not value or give to me any any kind of positive worth at all because my only positive feeling about myself that I would give to me was in feeling ‘good’ and righteous in seeing and facing the truth within me secretly that I was actually bad and that the negative judgements that I had accepted and allowed were actually real.

 

Therefore I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to need want and desire for someone to care or at least give a shit about me, so that I could hear or see a disagreement to my own harsh judgements about myself, and in this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to find ways of creating positive energy for myself in hoping and waiting for a reprieve, and I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself, when that did not come, to believe that this must prove my case against me, so that finally I had won and within that gained some positive energy in finally not giving a shit about me either.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to stand up not for or with me but as an energetic version of myself as righteousness, as consciousness as the harshest judgement of myself so that within that I could feel good about myself that I must be so good to judge myself so harshly.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to find positive energy experience for myself in judging who I am as superior to others and others as inferior to me because I had found a way to protect myself from their carelessness of/for me, and within this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘hurt’ in an act self spite and self pity that I utilized in act of blame for the feelings that I accepted and allowed as my experience of myself.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify myself in not caring or giving a shit about other people as an act of revenge.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that the anger that came up in me was as towards myself that I was not standing in any way for me but in hostility towards myself in my total negative judgement of myself in which I had accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by the mind, but instead I accepted and allowed myself to exert this anger towards the world in blame and in revenge. In this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become supercharged with energy by standing as an absolute self righteousness in absolute defiance of all life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become as consciousness entirely in my own reality in which I accepted and allowed myself to reverse the principles of life in experiments of evil, in which give as you would like to receive became do unto all what I believe was done to me.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself as a system of consciousness to believe that I had power because I did not care if I lived or if I died.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that with this power, that I had conquered fear, and within this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had transcended who I am as fear, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that rather than conquering or transcending fear, that I had accepted and allowed myself to suppress it and in doing that I had accepted and allowed and established it as something real.

 

 

I commit myself to start to care for myself as my immediate responsibility to who I am as life, to within this learn to stand with myself as self awareness, to practice movement of myself. I commit myself to move myself beyond the knowledge and information that I have understood of energy and polarity systems within and as myself by learning to apply this information within my actual life, and practicing the decision to move myself rather than to let myself be moved by energy.

 

I commit myself to walk this process of self forgiveness and self correction of these patterns that I have accepted and allowed, and to further understand the development and evolution of this personality so that I may deconstruct it and remove it from my life, and to physically move on from this.

 

I commit myself to, when and as the statement of I don’t care comes up within my mind, to stop and breathe, I realize that if I accept and allow myself to participate in this that I am consenting to myself to remain as energy and to remain as directed by a consciousness that does not care for life, that I remain as an illusion of superiority to and separation from life and from reality, and that within this I stand as self deceit.

 

I commit myself to learn to live as care as who I am.

 

 

 

 

Sunette Spies: Self Change through Self Movement (Part Two): DAY 333

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCuIOLdUhq0

 

Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World

 

NEW

the FREE DIP LITE Course now available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com

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~ by adamsblogs on March 29, 2013.

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