Day 183: Positive Reward and Sabotage

 

Continuing from the previous post… and with the same point – this background in my mind, common to my personalities that I have made – of giving up in different ways – and now I find a personality of tolerance towards this giving up that I have accepted and allowed but have not seen – as tolerance or as a ‘kindness’ towards the personalities in which I accept and allow a positive experience in being kind towards myself in allowing myself to go with the desire.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand or be aware of or to notice that I have accepted and allowed an energetic kindness towards myself as a personality – rather than an actual living kindness as who I am, as this being in the physical – and that in and as this personality that I have accepted and allowed a positive energy experience within and for the very actions of allowance of myself to follow the desire of giving up.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a negative experience to exist, in polarity to this energetic kindness within and as me, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of not being kind to me as energy, in which I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as cruel and hard and intolerant in not allowing me to stop myself to follow the desire for giving up.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand and recognize this energetic kindness as a mechanism that I have utilized as a reward of energy for accepting excuses and justifications where essentially I silently praise myself, and at the same time act in fear of my reactions such as the tantrums of these personalities of giving up.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself in this by representing to myself ‘decision’ as a massive effort of energy. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect responsibility as who I am to an experience of energy.

 

I commit myself to release this connection that I have made accepted and allowed of responsibility as who I am to an experience of energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this process be so difficult and so complicated, because I have accepted and allowed myself to live as energy being guided through the energy experience as a simulation of an actual life according to the programs that I myself have written or accepted and allowed as me, where I have relied upon obstructions and hiding places and things to blame and beliefs and reasonings and excuses and justifications all to hide and to deny the simple fact of my responsibility.

 

In these realizations I can see how I can do some work on improving the effectiveness of my self commitment and my willingness to walk in self correction and in the understanding that through this I can change.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not responsible for who I am as my commitment and for not allowing myself to explore this point, and hence not seeing the fear that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect to this.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I cannot stand within commitment absolute, because I fear to recognize myself enslaved within desire for giving up on me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope in my imagination that maybe this time I may not fall in this but stand in my commitment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that in and as that hope, my commitment is to energy in which the direction of myself is only in the mind and in imagination.

 

I commit myself to deconstruct these personalities of giving up.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe and to not slow down myself enough to look upon this point, but only as a doubt, or as an undefined fear that I will ‘look at later’. I forgive myself that I have not taken seriously this doubt but only brushed it off as the vestige of some judgement of myself, and so have refused to acknowledge that I show myself that I am in fact concerned, that really there is a serious problem here, a contradiction in which I have accepted sabotage of my ability to change.

 

 

 

 

 

See this video:

Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World

 

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The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

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~ by adamsblogs on February 19, 2013.

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