Day 179: Greed for Entertainment

 

Bringing myself back to breathing here from overwhelmingness

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the responsibility I have in sharing who I am with me, and hence with all as me, and to react to this fear that I have accepted and allowed by seeking entertainment with and as my thoughts and my imagination, making for myself a comfortable distraction so that I can escape from what is real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that within this I am validating my fear, and therefore I have accepted and allowed myself to create a loop from fear to entertainment and back again to fear and have created for myself an experience of overwhelming energies.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grasp for entertainment as an energy reward. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give to the word escape a positive charge of energy, so that already when the word escape arises in my mind, I have already initiated a positive experience within myself and a desire for more.

 

I forgive myself absolutely as this being that exists within a fear of exposure of who I am to me, and who I am to all others as me, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this to be denying absolutely that we are all the same. And hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that I am utilizing this fear of exposure to justify protecting the secrecy of me wherein I am as a positive charge of energy with me as something different and unique and special.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cover up my tracks to me by reacting to my fear with fear so that in separating myself from my own reactions I have come to put me in a place where I cannot understand this fear as me, cannot look upon the relationships that I have accepted and allowed in which I have defined myself as fear, and hence have sabotaged myself with hiding from myself my only means of change.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself by turning to distraction and imagination as an experience of myself in which I can get positive energy, rather than staying with myself in this experience I wish to escape from and seeing what it is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing myself according to the judgements I have made of me as unacceptable to me, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing myself and experiencing myself as unacceptable in the eyes of others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when I see myself as who I am within my fears and within my maneuvers rather than forgiving me immediately and asking me how it was that it came to this, that I came to justify this separation, that I came to guard this secret greed.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word ‘greed’ in terms of judgements of the mind, rather than seeing and realizing that who I am as greed is me in acceptance and allowance of myself as an energy awareness that acts according to itself as energy which is to accumulate itself in self interest.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by greed, greed for entertainment in my mind, greed for an experience of positive energy, greed for an escape, greed for a reward. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from greed, and to fear to see myself as greed, and through this to become possessed by it and enslaved to it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the reality of me because it is something that I do not know, as yet, and because my own reality has been something that I have fabricated within and as my mind, and I fear to lose this secrecy this specialness this illusion of myself as energy, and secretly within myself I know that I will lose all this because in exposing it I will realize that it is not real.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that in going into entertainment in my mind and my imagination that I have accepted and allowed the prevalence of god-consciousness within my world in a belief that I have accepted and allowed where everything is going to be ok and nothing matters.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by greed for energy experience as this god-consciousness within my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by meanness, me-ness, where I have accepted and allowed myself to justify to not share myself, or give myself away, expose myself, but rather in my greed for energy experience to keep it hidden away in secrecy where I can continue to believe that this is real.

 

I commit myself to breathe and to be here with myself in breath and in my self forgiveness of myself in what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to become and in awareness that being here with me in such self forgiveness that then therefore I can change because I need no longer hide these parts of me in separation from myself but instead return myself to me and be here actually in this world where I have feared to be.

 

 

 

 

See this video:

Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World

 

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The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

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~ by adamsblogs on January 30, 2013.

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