Day 176: Solitude 17
(This sequence of posts begins at Day 160)
The loner personality continued.
Imagination Dimension. The hope of specialness.
Walking along, being here in breath. While I physically walk, I stop now and then, just simply stop and stand, having realized that I have slipped back in to participation in the mind, again, being not here. I breathe again in the realization of patience in my breath with me, developing this change, supporting this realization of change ability.
In my walk-through of this loner personality I have come to the realization of how I have chained myself to what I interpreted with my mind, my possibility of specialness ‘for me’ within this personality/word of ‘solitude’, and seeing this as an opportunity have made in fear a commitment to not change, to not let go, to not move, to not have movement of me as me as a living being.
Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that fear of change within who I have accepted and allowed myself to be as this personality has been fear of the loss of this opportunity for specialness for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ‘specialness’ to exist within me as me in my mind, and for not allowing myself to see and realize and understand that ‘specialness’ can only be the result of comparison and judgement, and therefore in accepting and allowing a desire for specialness to exist within me and as me, I have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself as consciousness as the judgement of my mind, and have accepted and allowed a motivation as me towards the experience of positive energy as reward that I have given to and attached to ‘specialness’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that ‘specialness’ is an inherent design of consciousness as an expansion into superiority as an experience of more-energy through winning and competition, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my awareness from me that through accepting and allowing specialness to exist within me as me, and a desire to find and to define and to expand this specialness as me, that I have imposed a world-order of elitism in my external.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my desire for specialness, and for not seeing realizing and understanding that this specialness is in itself my judgement, so that in judging me in judgement I am in fact continuing to turn the wheel of consciousness within me and as me, and in judging me negatively in my acceptance and allowance for specialness to exist within me and as me, I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposure of myself within these wants, and so have acted to protect and hide the source of who I am as judgement, and the ways that I have chosen to individualize myself as consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ‘specialness’ to exist within me and as me as a positive resource of energy, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed through this to create an opposite polarity in that which is ‘ordinary’ as a negative judgement, so that I have accepted and allowed myself to overlook what is here before me in the physical in each moment of breath, and instead have accepted and allowed myself to look beyond in time or space towards something more as me.
I commit myself to withdraw from words the attachments that I have accepted and allowed as judgement and as energy in the realization that existing thus I have existed only in an energy dimension and have not lived as breath.
continuing next post…
See this video:
Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World
The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.
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