Day 169: Solitude 10
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to incorporate into me the judgement that I am insignificant and tiny and momentary when I compare myself towards existence and for not seing and realizing and understanding that I have used this judgement as who I am to justify my abdication from responsibility as who I am as life.
Instant Me. This point came up last post. It’s the ‘who I am’ towards relationship, and towards myself within relationship creation. The perspective of myself as an instant experience ‘here’ is like a point of total alienation, in which I have accepted and allowed myself as a voyeur or a tourist tuned-in as it were for a few moments of observation in a universe that was here before me and will be here after I’ve gone, with this universe as massive and soaring and vast and ancient and me within this as tiny and momentary and insignificant, and as a point of absolute non-responsibility. It is within this fundamental relationship of judgement of who I am in and separated from existence that all subsequent relationships have been aligned. Listen to the interviews, Enki, on the Dawn of Religion, Reptilians 68, and 69 on this. My interpretation of this is that this suggested panoramic self judgement was like the future container for a functional mind system in the physical existence.
How it is that I have been creating myself throughout this life as a network or as webs of relationships as systems of ‘who I am’ all based on this fundamental premise is only becoming clear to me in recent years as I explore myself and I explore the message that is finally being presented to humanity through the Desteni Material. The absolute contradiction of the Law of my Being is like the first law of human robotics.
“There is one Law that exists: Oneness and Equality. There is one Law that has always existed: Oneness and Equality – That which you are, who I am – you will experience within and without. The inner one and equal with the outer.” Extract from ‘The Law of my Being, the Law of Me‘ by Sunette Spies
The Journey to Life blogs are being written by people who see and realize and understand that the answer to the question of How can we change Life on Earth so that it is best for all is within the question of How can we practically change humanity as ourselves as that which we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and to become.
Hence, this blog, in which I am walking through and deconstructing and realigning the constructs of relationships that I have accumulated in the history of this life as ‘personalities’ which stand as simulations of actual life by consciousness which has its own agenda of energy creation through inequality that I have accepted and allowed in each relationship as me. Walking these personalities of my past that I have accepted and allowed as me means taking responsibility for the relationships that I have made within and as them, so that not only my understanding and awareness of who and how I am is an incremental process but also self intimacy, self trust and realization of self responsibility.
As I start to trace the development of the personality of the ‘loner’ from out of the conflict relationship fear experience/dimension and into and towards the imagination dimension as a ray of hope in a future as ‘solitude’, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chose to hide within an imaginary existence/world of my own making, connected into ‘solitude’ rather than to face the fact that this whole experience of fear as an accumulation of the past that I have lived has also been accepted and allowed by me, and an experience that I chose for me, and that because I made it secret in my mind and hid away from it, I made it so I could not see my responsibility within it.
In the last post I went into a bit this hopeful fantasy of ‘Boy meets Girl’ which I must have attached into the thought memory picture of the boy as me sitting on the sea wall, defined as ‘in my usual solitude’, with in front of me, the sky, while waiting in the hope that possibly maybe a similarly solitary girl might pass by. Here the fantasy relationship within my mind of me with another being as something that ‘just happens’ in my imagination instantaneously. Again this instantaneous perspective of ‘who I am’ towards existence.
What does one do in solitude? Well of course, (= programming), write ‘poetry’, ‘be’ a poet. This is the imagination dimension of the ‘loner’.
While writing out this post, I have noticed another aspect of the fear dimension in the loner character, so before entering into the ‘poet’ aspect of how I lived out ‘solitude’, I will walk through this added point of fear…
Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World
The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.
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