Day 166: Solitude 7

intimacyW

 

Continued from Vlog : Closed Doors- The Loner and Self-Intimacy

 

 

A Fear dimension of the ‘loner’ personality

This continues from Fear Dimension in Day 164, Fear of Emptiness

 

Fear of Self-Intimacy Self Forgiveness

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as judgement of who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through accepting and allowing judgement of who I am as me, to have then experienced myself as my own judgement as me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in my own judgement of who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose to trust in my own judgement of who I am as a decision that I have made in how to live my life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should live in righteousness, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not first check where and what and how and if this righteousness existed in the world in which I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that righteousness is something real.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in my positive judgement of myself and as myself as right in accepting and allowing myself as judgement of who I am, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in being my own judge of me that I am superior to whatever it is that I really am that I have judged before I gave myself the chance to know me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unaware of who I am because in accepting and allowing myself to judge myself I have created a fear within and as me and I do not wish to face myself as the fear that I created.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize myself within the fear I have created.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the fear that I created.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that I have created fear within my judgement of and as myself because I am experiencing myself according to my own decision in separation from who I am. And thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in self-dishonesty.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts and pictures in my mind of who and what I wanted me to be and have then looked into me and found that I am not these things and so have compared and judged me in my mind and so in this moment I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react to that which I did not find myself to be, and closed the door on me.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hide myself away from me because I did not meet my expectations of myself that I had accepted and allowed as pictures in my mind. Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as disappointment in my being.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to become as hope that I could possibly exist without opening the door to me, without ever having to experience myself as the disappointment that I accepted and allowed myself to be.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-intimacy, to fear seeing in to me at what I really am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own judgement of myself if I am intimate within myself and see myself as what I am.

 

Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enslaved to judgement of myself in relationship to who I am, in believing that I cannot be otherwise than judgement in the presence of who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress within myself this fear of intimacy with me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand why it is that I have clung to judgement of and as myself as this experience of righteousness, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to release myself from my own definition of myself as judgement because I fear to to let go of and to lose that positive experience of energy as righteousness and superiority where in fear I imagine that I will fall into my negative experience of who I am which is how I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself to be.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to become a fear of the unknown as who I am, and for not allowing myself to see and realize and understand that I am unknown because I have ignored myself through fear of how I might then judge myself if I were to look into myself and see myself as who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my own disdain of me by projecting it onto others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I might be judged if were to participate in a relationship of intimacy in which another being were to really get to know me.

 

Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chose to walk alone in life rather than experience this fear of judgement of myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project on others.

 

 

continuing next post…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World

 

NEW

the FREE DIP LITE Course now available to All  – simply sign up and start- http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

 

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

 

Books Interviews Information Music Eqafe.com

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~ by adamsblogs on December 16, 2012.

2 Responses to “Day 166: Solitude 7”

  1. Very cool posts here within this entire series you are walking Adam – including the vlog – thanks for sharing

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