Day 165: Solitude 6
Thought Image: Who I am as solitude, sitting on a sea wall in front of the SKY. (see Day 160)
Within the Loner personality, the shift from the negative ‘alone’ through hope as a movement towards positivity into ‘solitude’ as a state of ‘sublime’.
Bringing back my eyes from out of the sky has been a corrective application that I have started today. It has been a long established physical habit to plant my eyes into ‘the blue’, focused on infinity, like a resting place, ever since I used to slip out of the classroom window, away from here. I do not mean by this that I now stop looking at the sky, but to make sure that when I am looking at the sky, to actually really look at just the physical sky, because the activity that I am correcting here is the habit of not looking at or seeing the physical sky but only a symbolic representation of it as a design of an energetic reality that I have accepted and allowed.
When and as I become aware of this movement in my eyes towards the window or the sky I stop and I breathe, until I bring myself back here. I do not accept any longer this movement as a dimensional shift from where I am now into a state of hope. Instead I realize that I have initiated in myself an experience of fear and that I am participating in a reaction towards and away from it rather than facing and specifying exactly what it is and who I am within this, because I see and realize and understand that unless I take responsibility for who I am by standing in this moment then I have chosen to conserve this fear rather than through understanding what it actually is being able to be equal to it rather than inferior to it and hence being able to actually let it go.
I commit myself to really see and understand the sabotage of hope through which I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard myself as fear rather than to stand and face myself within it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize the physical sky as an energetic reality within my mind, as an external projection of my being as fear of emptiness, making out of it a symbol of hope and a reference to positive energy experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in this fear of emptiness that I have written that I must A VOID.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize the physical sky as an energetic reality within my mind, as an external projection of my being as fear of my responsibility within my abdication of directive principle through which I have made of the sky a symbol of hope and a reference to positive energy experience as mystical spiritual or religious experience in which I make-believe a scenario of my reprieve and the absolution of my responsibility in an overwhelmingness of some abstract higher responsibility or power.
Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize the physical sky as an energetic reality in order to seek out a familiar contentment within positive feelings and experiences of energy within my imagination, having apparently escaped from who I am as fear.
More on this next post…
Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World
The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.
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