Day 164: Solitude 5
The ‘loner’ personality. Deeper into the fear dimension.
Much support in this context from interview 59 in the Reptilians series. And see also the relationship of Hope to Fear that currently is being walked in much detail in Heaven’s Journey to Life: 237, 238, 239, 240
Opening up the emptiness layer, and facing this ‘emptiness’ as the absence of directive-principle.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face this fear that I have existed in this system without directive principle, but have instead substituted an image of emptiness with which to cover up this fear so that I can never see what I have done, but have chosen instead to shape my life as a personality around a reaction of fear towards this emptiness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear within and as this shell of personality as configurations of energy values as systems of lies that operate on automatic motivations of energy awareness as self interest and within this shell have existed in a secret fear of what I have accepted and allowed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize or face this fear square on because if I were to do so then I would be forced to take responsibility within this system as myself and not any more allow this system to drive me and to move me as I have accepted and allowed throughout my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to recognize that it was me that let go of directive principle, and so within that fear have looked into an emptiness of fear, not recognizing that what I see is the absence of myself as the responsibility of life, and so have lived accordingly as blame of fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being exposed as a fake because I have been presenting myself as having some control of the political situation when in fact I am in a state of reaction and constant manipulation by global corporations as the personalities that I have accepted and allowed and legalized within the system of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have sought for dignity and self respect in the position that I have taken in absolute denial of and therefore blindness to my letting go of my responsibility as my directive principle.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a foundation relationship towards myself as self deception as a belief in who I am as this fear of my basic lie that I am not responsible for the way I am, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as consciousness within a preference of a life of shame according to the nature of my judgement of myself as this apparent emptiness and lackingness which I have accepted and allowed myself to use so that I can exist as a victim in secret righteousness of blame of an emptiness as my lack of beingness as a cover rather than to see and realize and face the reality that I have separated from myself and from my own responsibility as life.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make such absolutely unsupportive decisions in my life about who I am in relation to myself that would develop into this ‘loner’ personality out of a respect for fear and out of respect for my own judgement of myself as the righteous one, rather than respect or even comprehension of myself as life.
I commit myself to stand and face myself within this fear of my own automation of myself in awareness of the programming that I have accepted and allowed in the realization that all of it has been according to my own decision. I commit myself to shift out of this awareness as my programming as energy that constitutes this personality array I have become and to stay with myself as breath and as awareness in my breath, here, and as such to walk the details of how I have separated myself from life and from the substance of the physical.
Continuing next post…
Bernard Poolman: Changing the Character of the World
The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.
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