Day 141: Procrastination 2 Fear Dimension
“What one will find with regards to Personalities – is that the Origin will always be a FEAR, as Personalities are essentially systems/personas of the Mind that protect the self-interest of ENERGY. So, if one have a look at for example the Postponement Character, it protect/validate the Self-Interest of the Mind for that Positive Energy Experience of the SOMETHING ELSE, and in so doing compromise/sabotage self’s relationship to self, the physical body and so one’s world/reality.”
Extract from Heaven’s Journey to Life: Day 182
Fear of entering into an experience that I remember that I’ve had before, and did not like:
Such as fear of starting the work and then being overwhelmed with all the ramifications and issues that need to be covered in order to make it complete.
This one goes into the Oh My God but this is my whole life story sort of experience, when I see for a moment the consequences and the ripples of this point that I am writing resonate through everything. And what would be ‘complete’, but writing out everything, and everything, like what tonight? There’s not enough time! But when I breathe I move along, and I let go of this picture of the finished object. Within this a fear of being unable to embrace it all at once in an idea in my mind of an experience of understanding, which would be a fear of loss. And understanding? But so what if the knowledge and information jigsaw goes together perfectly, if I have not walked myself out of these relationships of energy. In this also is a fear of being unable to finish what I started. This would link to memories of half finished or abandoned projects in relation to which I did not feel good, and made a judgement that it was a waste of time.
So multiple fears here, but all of them fears that I have created myself through judgements that I have put onto things, where I have defined a negative experience of myself and then have sought to avoid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to enter into an experience I remember and did not like.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within this to fear a memory in which I have accepted and allowed myself as less-than some information in my mind. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing an energy that I have defined within my mind as something that I do not like. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing myself as my own judgements. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and trust in thoughts within my mind that are telling me what and how I am going to experience myself in the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through fearing a memory in my mind, to have avoided engaging myself here in physical reality
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions according to my preferences within my mind of like and do not like, within this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is me that is making the decision when in fact it is me that is accepting and allowing the mind to gauge the energetic value of an action and then to act for me. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assist and support the consequential process of an energy awareness rather than to stand up and assist and support myself to move and make an action that has less prospect of energy accumulation. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give consent to maximize my own sacrifice as the physical in the service of the mind.
“I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to create and become the postponement character where I would divert my attention away from what is here because I do not like the experience that I am facing within and as the moment, thus through my act of diverting my attention away from what is here within and as the moment, I am compounding my experience of having to deal with the things that I am diverting my attention away from and through this I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to see, realise and understand that I am running away from the negative experiences within and as the physical as to how I had given these experiences a negative polarity charge through the judgements that I had associated with these experiences and through this I forgive myself that I did not see, realise and understand that I am the one who gave these experiences a negative charge by judging these experiences as experiences that I don’t like and through this I forgive myself that I did not see, realise and understand that my act of running away from these experiences is how I sabotage myself in not accepting and allowing myself to take self responsibility for and as my life, but to instead only exist as an positive energy seeking person, who seeks gratification of positive energy experiences, who does not in fact stand one and equal to life.”
Self Forgiveness statement from Earth’s Journey to Life Day 112
This Oh My God but this is my whole life story realization in writing out is an interesting one, because it is a diversion into energy experience as both positive and negative; at the same time as being an overwhelming experience as masses of information that comes up suddenly out of an opposite feeling of constriction of information, there comes up a feeling of jubilation as positive energy, I’ve got it, an experience that I have predefined as positive in my own judgement in which I revert into a definition of myself as knowledge and information, satisfied, while and at the same time, there’s too much information, and I fear I cannot grasp it, so I accept and allow myself to be dumped back into the negative as fear of loss. This whole drama is like a diversion into energy, and another temptation to at this point stop, because I go into then comparison, and find that obviously how far I’ve ventured into this seems miniscule compared with how far there is to go.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this experience of realization as positive, so that within this definition that I have given to realization as in information that fits together, I experience myself as positive energy and within and as this I am no longer here in breath, but gone into the mind.
When and as this realization as positive energy experience comes up in me I stop and breathe, I understand this for what it is, distraction, I do not accept this temptation into an experience of myself as positive energy, I will not allow this pattern to unfold into fear of loss, and giving up. Instead I breathe and I focus on the point that I was looking at.
I commit myself to use the time that I have while in this physical existence to share this process that I am walking here and I dedicate myself to walk this change with all into a world aligned in common sense as what is best for all.
More on this next post…
The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.
7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook