Day 139: Postponement Character
Another belief about myself that I noticed today was my right to not change, to not move, until convenient, like if the moment comes up when I must respond, then I see it as my right to make a kind of deal, which goes, ok I will do that, but in exchange for this, I want some time, as if it is I am doing a favor to myself to move at all. Like ok but first I finish this moment of doing nothing. It’s like first of all there is a reaction to not respond, and a thought about being cornered, or being forced. This reluctance in my physical is a holding back, a stiffness, a heaviness. This belief in my organization of lies as my self religion is a belief in freedom, that if I am to respond immediately to what needs to be done, then there is a loss of freedom. But this ‘freedom’ is being free to ‘play’, rather than to take up responsibilities, being free to indulge habitual characters of positive energy experience, and in the automation of these temptations, the ‘freedom’ is like a justification of why it must be so. But in the face of this addiction, the freedom itself is exactly the opposite of what it represents and so is a complete lie. What I have done is attach a positive energy experience to the word ‘freedom’, while what it actually represents is allowance of continued addiction and automation. Ok that may be so, but rather than to actually begin to play with these thoughts and ideas, I bring myself back to practicality, because in fact I do want to change this nature of myself for real.
So the question of how to actually practically change the consequence of being directed by these characters that are all designed and orientated towards production of energy and satisfaction of self interest, how to practically step out of that and into self direction, self direction to actually live the reality of what is best for all. How to practically change and actually live equality and oneness.
And so I commit myself to walk the dimensions of this postponement character that I have accepted and allowed because I am seeing and realizing the main role that the postponement character plays in my life, in a looping process of opposition to actual change. Reading Heaven’s Journey to Life blogs on the postponement character I realize how the characters that I have looked at in my blogs play parts as backdoor characters within the main driving force of postponement and distraction, towards an end of doing nothing to change what is happening. And the ‘I don’t care’ character that nullifies my own negative reactions and judgements of myself in seeing who I am within postponement, I recognize this one too, as well as my projections as judgements onto those I see as ‘not caring’.
Ok that’s the plan, I start this walk next blog.
The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.
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