Day 135: The Liar character 5
see previous blog
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a pattern of self-judgements that I have believed are who I am and therefore made it impossible for me to see the actual nature of the relationships that I have made which have all been made in energy polarities and separation, and so have acted in support of a system that I have made to distract myself from who I really am in equality and oneness in and as the physical reality, but instead have accepted and allowed myself as an unreality in which I have seen myself only according to the values of an energetic awareness as my consciousness within my mind and sought myself in validations of myself in order to affirm this fake reality in judgements made by me and accepted and allowed as if from others.
I commit myself to breathe and in this breath to walking with myself in the realization that I am here, and to stay within the starting point of my self forgiveness which is the realization of my responsibility in the relationships that I have made in which I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to become through my allowance a polarity of energy in separation from the reality of the physical as me.
I commit myself to redefine these judgements that I have accepted and allowed in which I have been aware that there’s a problem, but have only allowed myself to define the problem in terms of values of the mind through which it seems ‘that ‘I am’ wrong’, or ‘that ‘I am’ bad, or preferably in my illusion of fear, go into blame that ‘someone other than myself is ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’, rather than seeing and realizing that the problem is that I have abdicated my equality with all as life, and therefore lost touch with my own reality, because I have accepted and allowed my mind to make these judgements for me which it can only do through its own programmings and simulations of life as personalities and characters and according to its programmed motivation to seize all and any opportunity to make more energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that when I am in and as my mind I am not here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that when I am in and as my mind that I do not realize that I have a mind, because within and as this mind I believe that this is who I am as this experience of me and I have put my trust into interpretations of energy for me as the mind as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to become as an expectation of blame, because I accepted and allowed myself to blame all those around me for not meeting me within my expectations as pictures in my mind of how I wanted them to be and to behave towards me so that I could get for me a positive experience of energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my father and my mother as providers of the energy experiences that I myself have given values to according to the judgements of my mind, so that in not getting the experiences that I expect I have judged them both and blamed them, and then become an expectation of judgement myself, not realizing that this experience of myself is according to my own design.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my father because I have accepted and allowed myself to judge him and to blame him for my experience of myself, and for not allowing myself to realize that this experience of fear is me experiencing my own deliberate rejection of him and separation from him, that now in blame I interpret in my mind myself to be a victim of.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for me in the face of the expectations and definitions put upon me by my father, but to instead to try to fulfill these expectations because I fear that I may lose his love or sympathy and then not get the energy experience of myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect from him.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to become a character that exists within an imaginary reality of the mind in which I seek for energy experience, and rather than to stop myself, as in the opportunity that I have stored within my mind as this memory, rather than to stop myself in this and stand for me within and as the real reality as the physical, and change, that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and others in my world within and as an absolute separation of myself into a character of lies that acts in absolute denial of my own reality, so as to avoid my own experience of myself that I myself have designed.
Continuing next blog…
The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.
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