This connects into the ‘Me and my Father’ blog posts, (124,125) and also into the Thought Dimension of the ‘It’s got nothing to do With Me Character’ posts, the image of ‘Standing Alone’, (127,128), and also to the Mystery and Imagination Posts, (129,130).
Early years. Here I am at the breakfast table telling my dreams of the night before, and am told to shut up because ‘you are just making it up’. It is clear that if I am just making it up, then what I am saying must therefore be invalid, and not worth listening to or giving time to, because I am just being a liar, and trying to get attention on false pretenses. As a reaction to this experience of being cut off, I decide to keep my dreams to myself. As well as this decision to shut off my own expression what I see here is the atmosphere of competition jealousy and judgement that prevailed amongst this family group.
I did not lie about my dreams, but I did tell lies, and because of my judgements of myself as bad as a liar I have accepted and allowed a wall of fear about exposure as a liar. I have written in a previous blog about the consequences later on at school and thus on my life, of my strategies of lying, and today I go further back into an experience, for now, the earliest deliberate lie that I can remember.
Specifically what happens in a family group of quantum minds while they are busily feeding off the physical bodies of their hosts, finding ways to mutually take and access flesh for energy, while the beings themselves are shut into their conscious awareness enclosures, locked into structures of self definition, belief and justification, and fear, I have yet to understand. (See Quantum Mind 14) But practically what I do understand is that my responsibility in changing human nature as humanity is through self as me as humanity, one and equal, and this realization supports me in not taking this character personally, and in not wandering into the unknown domains of other peoples’ motives and intentions.
When I remove from the word liar the judgements as negative energy attachments, and the experience of fear, what remains is a relationship towards physical reality, in which I am separated from the physical reality, and the physical reality has become an interpretation in my mind as so much information to be manipulated and distorted to suit my own self interest; self honesty has gone regardless of whether I report this information accurately or not. It becomes easier to see how the development of this character could make way for other characters such as in a criminal career as a cheat, a thief, a poet and as artist.
So, next blog, I open up this specific memory, of me in the act of lying to my father.
The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.
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