Day 125: Me and my Father continued

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my father for my experience of myself.

 

Victim, another word that I have fixed up with judgments of myself within and as it. The effects and consequences of my judgments of myself, especially when the word, such as this one ‘victim’ represents a point that I need to look at, the effect is that I do not look beneath this word at who I am within it, and therefore once again I protect my mind, within resisting close examination.

 

Having opened up this point about my father, wanting me to become hardened and as his picture of a man, and me forming this belief of who I am as not good enough, I can see now how the word victim as a negative judgment of myself would fit with that, not wanting to remind myself of having failed to meet this picture of a man. This picture of ‘a man’ was not just any man at all but a specific, sporty, boxing, rugger playing, Sandhurst trained, officer material, someone in command, grin and bear it, stiff upper lip sort of being, the opposite of ‘victim’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see or recognize that the word ‘victim’ in my mind was not clear but was charged with negative energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give to the word victim a charge of negative energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see myself within a relationship as a victim, because I have defined being a victim as being ‘not a man’, and I fear to see myself as not good enough in my fathers eyes or as having failed to meet his expectations.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny being a ‘victim’ in a relationship, so that I do not have to experience this definition of myself that I have accepted and allowed as not good enough in my father’s eyes.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and then to hide from me this experience of myself as less than others in my father’s eyes.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of myself as not good enough within my father’s eyes.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my father for my experience of myself in which I chose to feel not good enough.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my father for my own reactions to myself as feelings and emotions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my father responsible for my feelings of being not good enough.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within abdicating my responsibility for my own definition of myself as not good enough together with the feelings and emotions that arise from that to have not seen and realized that within this I accepted and allowed myself in my relationship to my father to have become a victim, and to have created a victim character.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect and keep secret this victim character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within and as this victim character to have become powerless in relation to my own feelings and emotions and to have become stuck within and as my own self-judgments.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that in accepting and allowing myself to be directed by this victim character that through this I have accepted and allowed myself as powerless to move myself from out of my own negative experience of myself and to have through that gone into the experience of depression.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposure of this victim character.

 

I commit myself to walk through the dimensions of the victim character.

I commit myself to continue to explore the construct of my relationship to my father.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Missing Piece

Changing the Character of the World

 

The Quantum Mind
This series is for a serious student that cares about LIFE and endeavour to understand how creation functions in fact in specific details.

 

 It is my Opinion  see also the Opinion Character

Journey to Life Day100: Giving it your All – 100% Life Commitment

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

 

Catch up on:

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

AND…Check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

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~ by adamsblogs on September 25, 2012.

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