Day 108: Spite from out of Silence

 

School days continued: A Memory

 

Walking into school I believe that now I’m safe within the secret kingdom of my mind in accordance with this new vow of ‘I will never speak again’, I am now invulnerable, the winner.

In a memory a boy catches up with me as I walk along, he seems all friendly, and I am suspicious, I wonder if he has been sent to spy on me. He asks me questions, seeking to draw me out, find out where I’m at, what is going on. From the inside looking out, I am spiteful, laughing at him, mocking him, and ‘You can’t make me’ comes up as a thought. A pressure from inside me to respond pushes aside my resolution to not speak at all and out of my mouth comes a spiteful solution, to not respond, but to just repeat exactly what he says, to throw his own words back into his face. This way although I have lost control of my self imposed silence, I have avoided becoming trapped within my own words by only exactly repeating his, and so have manipulated myself into believing that still I have control, while at the same time in this strategy, I can also have revenge because I project on him that it must be painful to be confronted with exactly his own words thrown back at him, in which he cannot avoid to but see himself. In this act of spite I wish to invoke in him an experience of being hurt. There is malice in this, cruelty, like deliberately slamming a door in someone’s face. ‘See how you like it’ comes up as a thought.

Walking through this memory next blog…

 

 

 

Changing the Character of the World

 It is my Opinion  see also the Opinion Character

Journey to Life Day100: Giving it your All – 100% Life Commitment

4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support

Catch up on:

Heaven’s Journey To Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

 

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

AND…Check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

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~ by adamsblogs on August 14, 2012.

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