Day 87: Getting Along
Going into the word ‘sociable’, I at once have a feeling come up inside of a kind of strangeness toward it, like ‘what am I ‘supposed’ to do here, what is my role in this? So here I see myself already as a character looking for a character to be, and also looking for a definition of this ‘role’ according to the expectations of others within what one is ‘supposed’ to do and how to be and act in this situation of being ‘sociable’. That it had a name I had never heard before seemed to imply that it referred to something new. I came across it first in days of ‘culture-shock’ in my transition from home to the adult world of school. ‘Just copy what the others do, and you’ll get along fine’ might well have been the parental advice concerning how to be. I realize now that ‘culture-shock’ comes up as another example of a situation of characters in conflict seeking to define themselves according to the environment so as to fit in with what is going on.
So connected to this word ‘sociable’ is a belief in me of ‘not ‘knowing’ what to do and how to be’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate from me through believing in my mind that I should ‘know’ as ‘knowledge’ what ‘to do’ and how ‘to be’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I did not ‘know’ in my mind what ‘to do’ and how ‘to be’, then what I should do is do what others do, so that I can ‘get along’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should be finding ways to ‘get along’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a character that ‘gets along’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘getting along’ as a positive experience of myself, that I have skills at ‘getting along’, that I am ‘good’ at it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the situation of not having a character readily ‘at hand’ as a negative experience of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated from who I am so far that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I won’t exist unless I accept and allow myself to be a character.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to model and develop the chameleon character that I have accepted and allowed myself to be by studying the behavior of other chameleon characters so that I can ‘get along’.
I commit myself to delete all memories of chameleon characters that I have known within my mind as and when they come to me because I realize that I have valued them as source of characters to utilize for me, and a memory of them coming up is a signal that I’m looking in my mind for a way to be.
I commit myself to stop this chameleon character that I have acted out within and as myself and to no longer accept and allow myself to shift and change who I am here with myself as the living breath.
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~ by adamsblogs on July 18, 2012.
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Tags: 'chameleon character', 'culture shock', 'getting along', 'journey to life', chameleon, character, creation, desteni, earth, eqafe, equalmoney, heaven, self-forgiveness, sociable