Day 84: Changing Pace
Simply, physically I am here. Breathing. Fear of writing out what is actually going on. It is like there is this feeling of vulnerability to possession, an idea that if I even talk about what is going on in my mind, then I will become immediately and unknowingly possessed by some character that I have suddenly made up, as a matter of course, as I step into this belief of who I am, and then this character will describe the situation for me, but I will be unaware of that because of this belief. But I am still here, and breathing. I had to go back amongst the words I wrote so far just to check that there were none that might have caused a subtle shift. I do not accept this fear of writing what is here. But today I do direct myself to write with caution. And also I direct me to slow down and in doing so to make more space. In charging along I have become charged and this has not been self-supportive. I have many characters to unpack and to release. And I realize that I can so easily create far more, so hence the caution. And the chosen words. I have a tendency to choose words that are kind of inflammatory. Realizing this I then go on to realize that it is an aspect of my energy addiction in which I accept and allow myself to become distracted by the intensity of the picture that I make with words and then a character springs up and I run with that.
Today I read through these on Experience Characters
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