Day 80: Character of Shame 2
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize and understand that this apparent ‘life’ and ‘lives’ that I have ‘lived’ and participated in as characters has been as a walk along a labyrinth of mirrors in which all I’ve ever seen have been images of memories of separated self and energy awareness in self interest.
I commit myself to breathing as I walk through the world and not allow myself to encounter characters through my eyes, but beings like me possessed by characters and able to release themselves. Within seeing realizing and understanding how it is that I have abused other beings by defining them according to the requirements of my wants needs and desires as a character through which I have imprisoned me within and as my own I therefore commit myself to release this stranglehold upon the world within me and without me as what is best for all.
The Character of Shame continued…
The character of shame in the Act in which it’s looking at the character of the father, which is not the real actual being, and never was; it was the character that I participating as the character of shame chose to hold him down to in and as this father character within my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize another being as ‘my’ ‘father’ by holding him to characters of my own design to serve the purpose of this character of shame.
Here in the act of looking, a character transition takes place, because in the act of looking on the cause of shame I morph into and participate in the character of blame. The character that blames a character for holding the character to be the character they are in fact only playing.
Equal and One I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play this character game in which I blame an ‘other’ precisely for my own actions, as in this I understand and realize and see that the content of my blame consists of imputing guilt, accusations of ‘not seeing who I really am’, but instead ‘some image in his mind’ of ‘who I ought to be’ so that then this character of me, the victim character, the ‘innocent’ the ‘good’, ‘ought to’ and ‘should’ feel ashamed, and therefore justify this character of shame.
Being unable, apparently, to release myself as this character, is part of this character that is not responsible for being this character, but instead had the character imposed. So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear responsibility, to fear myself as responsibility itself as life as who I am, to have utilized this character of blame to justify the character of shame that has given up the process of walking through the characters into self as life, and has accepted self as righteousness as an image in the mind in belief of having been abused and formed into this character at the hand of this symbolic ‘father’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe this ‘who I am’ as something that has been imposed on me, so that I can justify remaining as this character in the comfort of my righteousness so that I can forget I am playing this character and instead to actually be it and become it as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for ‘not seeing who I really am’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give responsibility away to another in a game in which I say to them, first you see who I am, and then I will allow myself to see me. I forgive myself for playing this game of hiding in myself by then imposing on an other that they can’t see me, and therefore I don’t have to see myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for ‘not seeing who I really am’, but instead is ‘seeing an image in their mind that is not me’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see instead of me, an image in my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make sure this image of myself is something that can’t be lived, by making it as an image that ‘belongs to someone else’.
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire an image in my mind that I can ‘live’ as me, and for not accepting or allowing myself to realize and see that I am acting out as ‘fear of life’ and have gone to seeking self as character within my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see that I am aware of this Sham in which I swear on my fake ‘life’ that I am in fact this character that I am playing, and that it is not in fact, an act, but ‘real’. And in this Swearing Blind That… I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this swearing as an oath, an absolute commitment of my self as secret-mind that what is not real is in fact real such as the lie which if exposed would destroy my secret mind of righteousness so that convincing others of this lie would be to character a matter of life or death and therefore in the secret mind of character, the character convinces self as character that what is unreal is in fact real so as to lie with absolute conviction and thereby to deliberately become blind.
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself participate within and as this character of righteousness through which I give myself authority to make my own reality within and as my mind.
I commit myself to, as I walk this process, undo and totally retract this commitment that I have lived as righteousness in service to my secret mind.
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