Day 72: ‘On the Road’
It’s ‘a moment’ on this walk, ‘On the Road’, and bla bla bla
Then, as a character from ‘On the Road’ I look around.
Stop. Who is this person that I accept and allow as me in this moment that I write these words? I put them in italics. It isn’t here. Immediately this expression of myself becomes a reference to some story, some adventure, some indication of celebrity in some shared memory, to make it real, to bolster up this experience of me with authenticity, like stealing the consensus of a fake reality/ Stop.
I breathe. I do not accept this sharing of myself as a picture from a memory, as a moment in a film, as a part of the dramatic plan of me as energy.
On this Journey to Life, what?
It seems like I have been looking from all the angles of this question of ‘What the Fuck have I done?’ Standing Here as breath I feel the constant impact of the pressure of the Earth, and I realize that each and every angle of the question is another dimension that I create. What am I to do to stop the spawn of separation? Is it the very question of the question, in that I accept and then allow the consequence of the statement that,
‘It must be that: I don’t know.’ ?
So I commit myself to retract this starting point of me, and I realize and understand and see me standing here amidst the consequence of endless years of consequence, the accumulation of this deliberate illusion. Fuck! And thank ‘Fuck’ that I can in physical reality stamp my actual foot upon the actual ground of Earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and to become the play creator in and as my mind and then to step into this play-world and to deliberately ignore my own awareness of what the fuck I’ve done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be as energy as this character of ‘creator’ in which I cast myself in separation from myself as having awesome power and a multiplicity of ways and means to glorify my greatness so that I always can become more gloriously rich on energy, and always have a massive cast of characters that I have power to script and to propel to seek and to replenish for me their reality in more energy experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this consciousness as me throughout the passing of the day to switch from clip to clip of different characters, to always keep the continuity in place, to roll along the story smoothly, to never let me realize that I am in fact within the Imax of my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe these characters I play exist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted these costumes that I wear to be actually wearing me and leading me to feasting on the substance of my physicality while I enjoy experience as me.
4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support:
Perspectives on ‘Character’ in these blogs:
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