Day 70: Fear of Anger

 

Another blog/vlog conjunction.  And further exploration of the energetic conflict in my gut. See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6tGxzLlHws

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in fearing my reactions to have become oblivious to what specifically they are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see that this oblivion in which I find myself is the separation that I have made gone automatic, that I have given over my responsibility to the systems of my mind so that I do not any longer see what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide away from me and not to know what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own accepted victimhood where in fear of this awareness that I have accepted and allowed this possession of my self as oblivious and lost within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consent to automatic systems in which I do not see and realize and understand what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and understand and realize that this oblivion that I accept and allow for me I am accepting and allowing for all as me as the consumer system in the world in which I settle in my mind for entertainment of energy and for my table to be laid and set a knife and fork and plate before me so that I all I have to do is eat myself oblivious of what it is I am eating.  (see Zombie Apocalypse )

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the systems of my mind that carry out on automatic systems that I have designed to not see and realize and understand what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that in blaming my own automatic separation systems that I am going into further separation from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to become experience of righteousness that I begin to see and realize and understand what it is that I have been doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have won a battle with/against my mind, and that I welcome this definition of myself as superior to my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be swept up in and as this experience of victory against my mind in lifting the veil of my own fear and beginning to see and realize and understand what I am doing, rather than just simply recognizing the facts and self correcting in equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the anger that I hold towards myself in seeing how I’ve fooled and conned myself into believing that this experience of energy I have is actually Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with and as anger at myself when I see and realize the trap within the trap I’ve made myself in making this relationship towards the trap I’ve made myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that in separation from this anger it can only circulate and grow and grow and likewise with the fear within the tissues of my body, to produce this consequence of pain and pressure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what may happen if I were to Spill My Guts, expose my self-dishonesty, the secret of the crime for which I’ve judged myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with and as judgement against myself when I see and realize the trap within the trap I’ve made myself in making this relationship of judgement towards the trap I’ve made myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that in separation from this judgement it can only circulate and grow and grow and then become an absolute.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize and understand that this consequence of judgement absolute of judgement is supremacy of consciousness with my consent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind and become confused about this anger, because in my mind this anger is connected up to fear and judgement of myself and consequently hidden as myself within my mind.

Having written this, I see clearly now this choice with anger:

Self supportive and constructive; stamp my foot, in which I earth the energy that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate, and to breathe, and to bring myself back here in physical reality.

Or Self destructive; slap the robot as it were according to self judgement and in spite of Life, around the face, assert authority, go back into the mind as self-hatred, self righteousness.

 

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

7 Year Journey to Life @ Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

AND…Check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

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~ by adamsblogs on July 1, 2012.

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