Day 59: An Underwater part of Me

 

In a dream I was in a situation in which there was me and also another me under water that I was trying to pull out of the water. Meanwhile self-forgiveness statements scrolling up before my eyes and one of them seemed really of absolute importance, it was the record of some crucial thing that I had accepted and allowed. And yet on waking up I could not grasp it.

 

Accepting and allowing myself as ‘stuck’ in the process of a Self Forgiveness statement in a dream, I show myself this point in which I am sort of mesmerized within the question, What precisely is it that I have accepted and allowed? With this ‘stuckness’ I go into an experience of anxiety. In fear of seeing and understanding clearly the actual structure of the relationships that I have made, I go into distraction and waiting. I put a value in this emergent realization that did not quite emerge, so I do not want to let it go, and I put a value into this anxiety in which I suspect and blame self sabotage as if it were an urge more powerful than me. And so I add relationships that I make towards myself towards relationships that I have already made and have accepted and allowed as automatic, these ones that come up in my dreams, the ones that I prepare myself to face in my unconscious.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as my unconscious mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate this fear of the answer when I ask myself a question.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the loss of the foundations of who I’ve been in daring to ask the question of myself that might question who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to realize that in the act of ‘daring’ that I have accepted and allowed the fear against which I dare.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a question can be hazardous, can be a dangerous thing.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to realize that in accepting and allowing myself as ‘stunned’ and ‘mesmerized’ and ‘stuck’ that these are all relationships that I have made towards myself in fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to realize that this ‘blank’ distractedness is fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to realize that blank distractedness as fear is an aspect of this personality that I have accepted and allowed as who I am within which I have become comfortable and safe and unable to see and recognize the fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might possibly discover that I have been ‘wrong’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might lose the opportunity to discover where I have been ‘wrong’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to self forgive relationships that I have made from the starting point of them being ‘wrong’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might lose this me in separation from myself as ‘right’ in fear of being ‘wrong’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the melting of this dream beyond my reach beyond my grasp in which I hoped and feared to discover what might possibly be ‘wrong’ with me or how precisely I was ‘wrong’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself that I let go of this dream.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust that what comes as information or perspective on myself will come again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project this personality of blame and spite on to my unconscious mind in which I then

expect it to be saying to me, ‘you’ve blown it now’, that’s it, last chance, you’ve missed it.”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am ‘stuck’ in being enslaved.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for being ‘stuck’ in being enslaved.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate from my own self-sabotage in which I have accepted and allowed myself as less than it.

 

I commit myself to expose to me the many relationships that I have made towards all parts of me that altogether make ‘self-sabotage’ of me.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life  blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

AND…Check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Advertisements

~ by adamsblogs on June 17, 2012.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: