I’ve been looking at how I manage to overwhelm myself with massive complexities of backchat and feelings, till like yesterday, a thought comes up, ‘this is unforgiveable’.
And looking at this thought, the simple message of this thought, having pulled out the energetic charge from it, (Realizing that I had connected to it shame and judgement of something being so so wrong and evil and deeply bad, etc, packaged up as a barb of spite, lol, a feast of negativity experience for me in and as this energy addiction, an instance of the day to day practice of this malice)… but looking at it in a simple way, this message is actually one of self-support, because I see now how something in a practical way can be unforgiveable, like for example a network of relationships together all in and as one.
I realize that until I actually see and clarify the particular specific lines of these relationships, then they cannot practically individually and specifically be self-forgiven, and as such they are literally ‘unforgiveable’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to the word ‘unforgiveable’, through which in fearing unforgiveability in me I am actually falling once again into this fear of fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect to unforgiveability the word damnation through which in fearing unforgiveability in me I am accepting and allowing myself to believe I cannot change, through which I sabotage my self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obscure the meaning of a simple fact I tell myself through accepting and allowing myself to charge it up with fear.
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